Buzz Cut And Sting Fright

Terence stares hard at baby B-B.

Baby B-B stares hard at Terence.

Terence is going to try and scare baby B-B.

Baby B-B is going to be scared.

At the same time, baby B-B must listen for and internalise a warning signal from Gaius.

He is ready.

Terence is not. Terence wants to scare baby B-B with a carpentry tool in the manner of his stepfather Saint Joseph.

But there are no carpentry tools in the office.

Gaius, Sweezus, Vello, David and baby B-B wait expectantly.

Now Terence has a brain wave. He points to the top of his head.

See this! he says to baby B-B. This is a buzz cut. I'm going to give you a buzz cut. Buzz cuts really HURT!

This would be a little more scary if Terence did have a buzz cut.

But Gaius, who only knows classical haircuts, and thinks Terence must have a buzz cut, shouts TIC!

Baby B-B jumps, but not convincingly.

Buzz cut! frowns Sweezus. You don't have a buzz cut.

No, he doesn't, says Vello. He wanted one back in Ferney, but I put my foot down.

It would have been permanent, says Sweezus.

That's what I said, says Vello.

Whereas I was prepared to let him have a buzz cut, says David.

He ruffles the little cement curls on Terence's hard cement head.

So, Terence doesn't have a buzz cut, says Gaius. Drat! This has ruined the experiment.

Try a different terrifier, says Vello.

And another warning, says David. Try Chack!

Terence looks at baby B-B, crestfallen.

Baby B-B stares back.

Terence notices that baby B-B is a strange sort of parrot. He has little bristles growing all round his beak. What are they for?

Don't take this the wrong way, parrot, says Terence, grabbing hold of a tiny sharp bristle.

Ouch!

CHACK! cries Gaius.

Baby B-B reacts in terror, as if he's been stung.

So does Terence.

Excellent! exclaims Gaius. Now for the crux of the experiment.

What is the crux of the experiment?

Will baby B-B understand?

Baby B-B flutters down to perch on the desk as though the danger is over.

Gaius, methodical experimenter, shouts again: CHACK!

Baby B-B flies up in feigned terror, leaving a small faecal remnant in Sweezus's latte.

Bravo! A superb touch of class!