What We Know Is Absolutely True

It is dark in the Velosophy office.

Sweezus, Arthur, Dries and Pablo have gone out drinking.

Baby B-B is alone.

He attempts to empty his mind of everything.

It is hard, as anyone will know who's tried it.

Let us peek inside the head of baby B-B.

blank sheet blank sheet blanksheetblabla......

Oh yes, baby B-B is good at anything he sets his mind to!

Night rolls on.

Ding! It's morning.

Sweezus is first to come into the office.

You still here?

No answer from baby B-B.

Sweezus sits down.

Footsteps are heard outside the office, coming up the stairs.

The door opens. It's Vello and David.

Here we are! says Vello. Everything all right?

Yeah, says Sweezus. It's been pretty quiet. How was Paris?

Ugh, says Vello. Hopeless.

Yeah but they came to agreement, says Sweezus. We heard it in the pub. Everyone was clapping and stuff.

Read the small print, says Vello. No commitment to science. Emissions from shipping and aviation to be exempted.

That's shithouse, says Sweezus. How was your flight?

Very good, says David. How about offering us a cup of coffee?

Yep, says Sweezus. I'll get 'em.

He leaves the office and heads for the Bean Bar.

Look here, says David. This must be Gaius's bird.

He pokes at baby B-B.

Leave it, says Vello. It's supposed to be some sort of tabula rasa.

Oops, says David. Forget I did that, little bird.

Baby B-B stares back at him blankly, like the proper little genius he is.

Stomp, stomp! And other, lighter footsteps.

It's Terence, followed by Gaius, and Sweezus with three skinny lattes.

Where's my parrot? asks Terence, looking round the office.

Here, says Sweezus, indicating baby B-B.

Very funny, says Gaius. I assume this is the baby Bristlebird? And you have taught him nothing?

Nothing, says Sweezus.

( Which is, as we know, strictly speaking, true ).

I haven't a great deal of time, says Gaius. I am on the trail of the wondrous mantis shrimp, which has an optical ability rare in nature. Would you mind looking up some bird alarm calls for me, on your computer?

Sweezus obliges. He comes up with Tic! and Chack! and Seeeet!

Very good, says Gaius. We'll try those. But first, someone needs to terrify him, so that he makes the proper association.

Me! Me! says Terence.

And this is how Terence and baby B-B make their first acquaintance.