Diverted From The Straight And Narrow

But what have I done? asks Carl Linnaeus, as gendarme Pierre gets out his handcuffs.

You have caused havoc all over Paris, says Pierre.

I have not, says Carl Linnaeus. I haven't left this room since the attacks.

That is not our information, says Pierre. You have been seen in many places, moaning and beating a drum.

Ah, says Gaius. This can be explained. What you saw was his wandering spirit.

Wandering spirit! cries Vello. What's this tosh?

Hear him out, says David, who has returned from extinguishing Vello's burning ember in the toilet.

This is a magical drum, says Linnaeus. By means of this drum my spirit wanders wherever it wishes, but I can hardly be blamed for what it does when it gets there.

Same, says Terence. My spirit is a parrot. He drops poo and feathers. I had to leave him behind.

He wasn't a parrot, says David. He was a crane.

Stick to the subject, snaps Vello. Why are we being pursued?

Pierre the gendarme is beginning to wonder: Who are these people?

He demands some identification.

Gaius goes first.

Alors! cries Pierre. You are Pliny the Elder!

David goes second.

David Hume. The famous Scottish empiricist! Mon dieu!

Carl Linnaeus goes third.

Hein? The Swedish father of taxonomy!

Vello goes last.

Merde! Voltaire! Pierre has been chasing the great French icon of the Enlightenment!

Pierre can't decide what to do.

........

Tied? asks baby B-B.

TIRED, says Mango. No, I'm not. Do I look tired?

No-o, says baby B-B. Fah?

Yes, it is still very far, says Mango. Perhaps we should look at catching a bus to Balranald. It might save us some time.

They flutter across to the Narrandera bus station. It is now early morning.

Balranald? says the ticket office person. The bus trip takes six hours.

I could fly it in six hours, says Mango.

Bus goes via Griffith, says the ticket office person.

Blow that, says Mango.

I suppose you go straight as the crow flies, says the ticket office person.

Yes, says Mango. I do. Allowing for wind currents. Thanks anyway. You have a fine town. We enjoyed your fountain.

Did you see our fig tree? asks the ticket office person. It's one hundred years old.

No, we didn't, says Mango.

Pity, says the ticket office person.

Pity, says baby B-B.

Is that your baby? asks the ticket office person. It doesn't look much like you.

No, says Mango. I'm giving him a lift to Adelaide, to rejoin his mother. He's grown up so much on this journey.

Don't they all, says the ticket office person. Well, have a safe trip. Sure you won't take the bus? Couple of seats going begging.

How nice people are in the country!

 Mango can't decide what to do.