If I Was A Light Bulb I'd Die

Arthur has good negotiating skills.

He and Gaius walk out of Kathmandu with three jackets, none of which they have paid for.

Other than a trifling deposit.

All they have to do is document their trip to the icy regions, to save the Baw Baw Frog from extinction, WEARING THE BRANDED JACKETS. And post it on You Tube with credits.

After which, they will return the jackets in good order.

A great coup.

Sweezus has sent Arthur a text with the Carlton address.

Grattan Place, Carlton.

They head over there.

This is most convenient, says Gaius. So near the Museum.

They knock on the door, which a well preserved lady opens.

Hello! says the well preserved lady in an Edinburgh accent. You must be Gaius and Arthur. I'm Grizel Baillie. Come in! Katherine and Sweezus and the little boy and the parrot are in the kitchen, having some supper. Will you join them? Here, let me hang up those jackets. What beautiful jackets! I do like bright orange. So easy to spot in the snow.......

Dear lady, says Gaius, I must thank you for your hospitality. What is for supper?

Tomato soup, says Katherine.

Gaius is aghast.

They go into the kitchen.

Oh hello boys! says Katherine. Isn't this nice! I see you've already met Grizel my old school friend. Arthur, I told her you were a poet.

Thanks, says Arthur. Any particular reason?

SHE'S a  poet, cries Terence She wrote a song in Scottish. If I was a light bulb I'd die.

No, dear says Grizel. You've got it wrong. Not if I was a light bulb. Were no my heart light I wad die.

She takes two more bowls out of the cupboard. Starts spooning tomato soup in.

Madam, says Gaius, I must abstain from your tomato soup, as I believe tomatoes are poison.

Good heavens! says Grizel. What a liability. Come and check out my pantry. We'll find something.

She leads Gaius into her pantry, to look for something less toxic.

Did you buy Sweezus a warm jacket? asks Katherine.

Yes, says Arthur.

How much was it? asks Katherine. I must settle up.

One hundred and sixty eight dollars, says Arthur.

Shit a brick! says Sweezus.

That was with forty percent off, says Arthur.

Let's see it, says Katherine. Oh that is LOVELY! Let me feel it. So light and warm. Is it down? What a beautiful colour.

Sunset, says Arthur. We've all got the same. Where we're going, we need to be able to see one another in the distance.

Without knowing which one we are, says the Elegant Parrot.

Ha ha! says Terence. I get it. That's funny!

Katherine slips Arthur two hundred dollars.

Keep the change dear, says Katherine. You never know when you might need a few extra dollars.

Arthur pockets the cash.

Gaius emerges from Grizel's pantry with a can of sardines.

Terence starts wailing. HE didn't get a warm jacket.

Wah! Why didn't I get one?