Painful Extractions

Bunyip. Population 2,232 (at last count). Named after a mythical creature.

Are we there yet? asks Terence.

Yes, says Sweezus. This is Bunyip.

Is there a chemist? asks Gaius.

Sweezus googles Bunyip. Yes, there is a chemist.

Arthur, find the chemist, and buy me some dental floss, says Gaius.

Arthur goes off down the road.

He passes a post office, hairdresser, several fast food shops, a grocery, a bakery, two banks that don't look open, and a lawn mower outlet.

He goes into the lawn mower outlet.

Is there a chemist? asks Arthur.

Ralph the lawn mower man has spent his life in the buzz-roar of lawn mowers, and is now rather deaf.

Is it a dentist you want? says Ralph. We have a dentist. But it was not always so.

I suppose not, says Arthur. But I want a chemist.

Yes, I hear you, says Ralph. And you can have one. But back in the day, when there was no dentist in Bunyip, the local station master used to oblige by extracting teeth with his ticket clippers!

He waits to see Arthur's reaction.

Arthur looks at him as one might look at a monkey.

Young people these days, thinks Ralph. They don't know. Life is hard in the country. And why does he need a dentist? His teeth look fine to me.

Arthur wanders off to look for a chemist.

Sweezus catches up with him.

Gaius wants a pencil, says Sweezus. His last one busted off in his teeth.

Okay, says Arthur. Dental floss, pencil. Is that it?

Yep, says Sweezus. Hey, this looks like a chemist.

It is. They go in. Arthur goes up to the counter.

Got any pencils? asks Arthur.

This is a pharmacy, says the chemist. You need the newsagent.

What about dental floss? says Arthur.

There I can help you, says the chemist. She goes off to the Dental Care shelf.

Comes back with a 200 metre Oral B pack.

How does it work? asks Arthur.

Well, you ......are you going to buy it?

Yes, says Arthur.

She opens the pack. Pulls out a length of waxed floss, hooks it over the small metal hook thing. Ping! Breaks it off. Gives the short length to Arthur.

Thanks, says Arthur, shoving the short length in his pocket. How much is it?

Ten dollars fifty, says the chemist. ( Wooh! big mark-up for the country).

Damn, says Arthur. I'll have to go back to the boss, to get some more money. How much again?

I'll write it down for you, says the chemist, taking a post-it pad from the drawer, along with a Health Partners biro.

Here, let me, says Arthur. My boss can't see all that well. He needs really big writing.

Does he need reading glasses? asks the chemist. We have some good quality ones.....

Show me, says Arthur.

Off she goes, what a bunny!

Arthur walks out of the pharmacy, before she gets back.

Where did your friend go? she asks Sweezus.

Oh, er, I'll just go and see..... mumbles Sweezus.

He too leaves the pharmacy.

The chemist looks about for her pen.