I Would Prefer A Mollusc

Gaius arrives at the University of Newcastle with Saint Roley.

A student strolls by.

Where might I find the Ecology Department? asks Gaius.

You want the School of Environmental and Life Sciences, says the student. I'm going there now.

How very fortunate, says Gaius. Do you know Dr Clulow?

I'm in his team, says the student. We're going to Ecuador to help construct the habitat for the endangered Riobamba.

That's a type of frog, adds the student.

Thank you. I know a great deal about frogs, says Gaius.

Oh, sorry, says the student. I suppose you're a professor or something?

No, says Gaius. Not a professor. But I write on many subjects. You may have read my Natural History. But possibly you haven't. There is an abundance of literature on the subject. In my day there was very little.....

Saint Roley is feeling left out of the conversation.

He decides to butt in.

Until recently we had our own Growling Grass Frog, says Saint Roley. But it ate a red-back spider and died.

The student is surprised.

You speak! says the student.

I do, says Saint Roley.

I should have introduced you, says Gaius.  This is Saint Roley. An oystercatcher. He was born in Saint Malo.

I'm Lydia, says the student. And you?

Gaius Plinius Secundus, says Gaius.

Crumbs, says Lydia. Are you Spanish?

Ha ha no! says Gaius. A Roman.

Because we need people on the team that speak Spanish, says Lydia. I'm doing a crash course.

Saint Roley has a smattering of Spanish, says Gaius. Try him.

Cómo estás? says Lydia.

I would prefer a mollusc, says Saint Roley.

Was that the answer? asks Lydia. I asked how you were?

I didn't know the Spanish for mollusc, says Saint Roley.

Nor do I, says Lydia. She takes out her phone. Easy. Molusca.

They have now arrived at the School of Environmental and Life Sciences.

Dr Clulow races out through the door. He stops when he sees Gaius.

Ah! Do go in! I'm just chasing up a delivery. Look after him, Lydia.

He dashes off to chase up his delivery.

He seemed to know me, says Gaius. That's promising.

Wait here in the office, says Lydia. With the green and gold bell frogs.

She goes out, because she's late for a lecture and it's not really her job to look after anyone unless it's a bell frog.

Gaius looks into the box containing the green and gold bell frogs.

There are four of them, happily reclining.

No signs of chitridiomycosis. Must have had the weak pool salt treatment.

Gaius sits down. He leans back and dozes off in a reverie. It has been a long morning.

Zzz.

Saint Roley hops over to the box of fat green and gold bell frogs.

They look up at his orange beak warily.