Provenance Of The Swan

The last time we saw Terence, he was wading into the sea.

He had spotted a plastic bag floating, and forgotten what usually happens when he wades into the sea.

His little cement legs start sinking in the soft sand of the shallows.

They sink to a certain depth and then stop sinking, due to equalisation of pressures.

And Terence is stuck.

The plastic bag floats away, never to be made into authenticated lining.

Terence calls out to the nearest person.

Help, I'm sinking!

The nearest person turns around.

She had been helping her toddler onto an inflatable swan. She lifts the toddler off again.

She turns and waves to a lifeguard.  The lifeguard runs down to where Terence is up to his knees in the sand and.... squelch...... yanks him out safely.

Wah! cries the toddler.

It should be me who says that, says Terence.

But the toddler is moaning because Swan has floated away.

I'll get it, says the lifeguard. She wades out strongly.

She retrieves the inflatable swan and returns it to the mother.

These are not sensible beach toys, says the lifeguard. They float off too easily. Imagine if your toddler had been on it.

Yes, says the mother. I was imagining it. We don't want this swan anymore, do we Olly?

Olly does want it.

Wah!

We'll go and buy an icecream, says Olly's mother. You can choose it.

Olly brightens. Olly goes off with her mother.

Now what am I supposed to do with this inflatable swan? asks the lifeguard.

I'll have it, says Terence. Is it made of plastic?

I guess so, says the life guard. But I can't let you have it. It's dangerous.

Not for me, says Terence.

You're probably right, says the lifeguard, but I can't risk it.

I know! says Terence. Let the air out. Then I can have it.

No, says lifeguard. It goes in the bin.

What's up? says Sweezus who has finished his third beer and discovered that Terence is missing, and come down to find him in the shallows negotiating the fate of an inflatable swan with a lifeguard.

It's plastic, says Terence. I retrieved it out of the sea.

Actually I did, says the life guard.

Cool. Can we have it? asks Sweezus. We recycle found sea plastic as lining for our new product, Prognosticating Sea Salt.

That sounds ethical, says the life guard. Go ahead, take it.

Thanks, says Sweezus. We're gonna stamp each piece of lining with its provenance. Like.... where it was found and maybe who found it.

Well, my name's Céline, says the lifeguard.

Sweezus deflates the swan and takes it back to the café where Arthur is waiting.

Will Arthur approve it? Or will he think it's not the right sort of plastic?

Because frankly it isn't.

But no, it's okay by Arthur. He borrows a knife from a tin on the counter and starts cutting the swan into pieces.

Watched with chagrin by Olly, as she eats her vanilla ice cream.