Onion Juice

At Dubai Airport, Gaius, Humboldt, Terence and Saint Roley wait for their flight.

Gaius and Humboldt have found seats and given Terence five dollars.

He has gone off with Saint Roley to spend it.

Not a lot is happening.

Not here.

But how are Vello and David doing, in Ferney?

Let's see.

It is sixteen hours later. They have met Monsieur Lambert, in his apartment, which is near the Mairie.

Here they are in his salon, with him, drinking coffee.

On the wall above the fireplace is a photograph of the statue in question.

Monsieur Lambert: I'm very fond of that statue.

David: You should be. It's famous.

Vello: I hope you're not going to reneg.

Monsieur Lambert: No no. Of course not. But there is a small matter.

Vello: Payment? I'll pay.

Monsieur Lambert: Not that.

Vello: The haircut? I'll let you do it. I'll have a high fade.

Monsieur Lambert: Is that one of those new hipster hair styles? I don't do them.

David: Then what is this small matter?

Monsieur Lambert: The town logo.

Vello: What the devil has the town logo to do with my haircut?

David: Vello! You're not following.

Vello: I am!

Monsieur Lambert: Not only the hairstyle but the clothes and the bicycle. If the statue is remodelled, it won't be the same as the logo.

Vello: You mean my statue is on the town logo?

Monsieur Lambert: Yes in, outline. And it's expensive to alter a logo.

Vello: Are you refusing!

Monsieur Lambert: No. I'm saying we need to visit the mayor of Ferney.

Vello: Right! What are we waiting for?

Monsieur Lambert: First I suggest you get the haircut. The mayor will then have a better idea of our proposal.

Vello: Perhaps I should get a bicycle as well to show him what a bicycle looks like!

David: Calm down. I'm sure he knows what a bicycle looks like.

Monsieur Lambert: It's a fine suggestion. I'll take you first to Relone Hair Designer-Barbière. They do those modern hipster hairstyles. And then to Bouticycle, where we can borrow a bicycle. Both businesses will enjoy the publicity, if this comes off.

Vello: Will they? I'm not sure I want to....

David: This was your idea in the first place. You should buy new clothes as well.

Vello: I suppose so. Go the whole hog. Why not?

And so Monsieur Lambert takes them to the Barbière, where Vello gets a high fade of sorts.

It's not as high as he imagined.

But he is given a shot of D.U.C. whisky beforehand, and an onion juice face rub.

So it's not all that bad.