Things That Got Ruined

What is it? snaps Gaius.

He is not usually snappy, but was caught unawares, with his false buttock cushion exposed.

He kicks it towards a rose bush.

Costa told us to come and see you, says a woman. He says you're a gardening whizz.

I'm no gardening whizz, says Gaius. Nor was my character. I hope I didn't give that impression.

We thought, Merle and I, that we might work beside you, says the first woman. I'm Peg, by the way.

Merle and Peg, working beside him. At what?

Gaius is puzzled.

With the spades, says Peg. Filling in the sink hole.

OH! says Gaius. I'm with you. I was miles away, with the spiders.

Merle and Peg are delighted. Miles away with the spiders. What a tale this will make at their next gardening club meeting.

Are we filling in the sink hole? asks Gaius.

We were told to, says Merle. Some people have started already.

Gaius pops his head round the curtain.

Elodie, Celia and Saint Roley are surrounded by guitar fans. Sweezus and Belle are taking selfies with groups of young people. Arthur has vanished. Vello and David are deep in conversation with the head gardener, who has an issue.

That is why, says Vello, we are sending the troops in, with spades.

It must be closed down altogether, says Adam. It's a hazard.

Not if we reinforce it, says David. Two more nights. What do you say?

No, says Adam.

Many of these people are ready and willing to go down there, says Vello.

Landslide! Someone yells from the sink hole.

Dear me, says David. Perhaps Adam is right.

Of course I'm right, says Adam. Now we've got a full on disaster. The unsupported sides have caved in.

They have. Now it's an even bigger sink hole. It extends into the rose garden.

That's it, says Adam. Everyone leave right now! I'm roping it off till the morning.

Of course, says Vello. Off you go, everyone. Leave the spades though. And if you enjoyed the show, tell all your friends. We'll be on again tomorrow night, with a brand new stage set.

Not likely! says Adam.

People melt away, some pretending they didn't hear about leaving the spades.

Adam starts roping off the collapsed area.

Nobby and Terence are watching him do it.

I was happy there, says Nobby.

So was I, says Terence.

Now it's ruined, says Nobby.

Everything gets ruined, says Terence. Eggs, shorts, parrot balloons.

Are they things of yours that got ruined? asks Nobby.

Yes, sighs Terence. But do you want to feel better?

Yes I do, says Nobby.

I got new shorts, says Terence.