When I Was Grandpa

The applause dies away.

The entire cast bounces on.

More applause. Then Vello speaks:

Thank you everyone! Please remain seated.Our stink bug will hand out the spades.

Everyone remains seated. They have to.

Terence begins handing out spades.

Now what? calls someone. We're tied to our chairs.

I did that, says Terence.

Yes, but now the show's over, says the person. Do we wriggle out or what?

Terence doesn't know. Then he has a brainwave.

He's still holding one end of the string. All he has to do is repeat his dance backwards. And everyone will be swiftly untangled.

But Vello is looking impatient, about the spades.

So Terence begins his dance backwards, while still  handing out spades.

I don't want that spade, says a woman.

Yes you do! says Terence.

It's hard enough dancing backwards, without people being picky.

I'm only staying behind because I want to talk to Costa, says the woman.

Talk to me, says Terence. I was the stink bug. These are my eyebrows. Did you recognise me when I was grandpa?

No, says the woman. When was that?

In the beginning, says Terence. I had white eyebrows.

Whose grandpa were you? asks the woman.

My own, says Terence.

It wasn't obvious, says the woman.

You have to have a spade, says Terence.

Okay, says the woman. Give me a spade.

This is slow going.

What's going on, grumbles Vello. Why are no audience members coming forward to help fill in the sink hole.

Let me find out, says Belle.

She moves in amongst the audience and sees the problem.

Can you all stand up, carefully, says Belle. No, put the spades down. Now, stand and step out of the string. Gently! It's just that we don't want to cut it, because we need it for tomorrow.

Great.

Everyone is released. And most have a spade.

They cluster around Costa.

Okay, says Costa. I have to head off now. But the old lady will tell you what to do.

Wait! cry several people. We have many questions.

Ask the old lady, says Costa. She's a gardening whizz.

Gaius has no idea he has been dobbed in to answer gardening questions by Costa. He is behind the curtain, untying his false buttock cushion.

Ah! That's better.

Several heads poke round the side of the curtain.

Yoo-hoo!