You Can't Simply Abandon Your Chairs

There is a brief interval, while Martin and Doctor Pangloss inspect the walls of the sunken garden.

Martin: What do you say?

Doctor Pangloss: If these walls should collapse, it would be a disaster.

Martin: That's not like you.

Doctor Pangloss: I'm not speaking in character.

Martin (poking at the dirt wall, on the edge of which an audience member is sitting): Look here. It's crumbling.

The audience member: Are there no supports?

Martin: We were not expecting the audience to move forward.

Audience member: But how else did you expect us to see?

Martin: You chose to sit up here. It must have been obvious that you wouldn't be able to see into the sink hole.

Audience member: But it was so pretty up here, with the candles, and the flowery Swiss cotton curtain, and the fake orange tree.

Doctor Pangloss: The fake orange tree, as you call him, was originally going to play the curtain.

Audience member: As well as the orange tree?

Doctor Pangloss: Yes.

Audience member: How would that have worked?

Doctor Pangloss: Not very well. That is why our stage designer made the decision.

Audience member: Perhaps he or she should make another one.

Martin: She. And you are right. Belle! Could you come out here?

Belle (still dressed as Cunégonde): What is it, papa?

Martin: What do you think about the danger of these walls collapsing?

Belle: Oh dear! It seems to be imminent!

The audience members who had chosen to sit in the sink hole climb up the ladder, regretting their decision.

Go back! Go back! cries Martin. You can't simply abandon your chairs!

But they will not return to the sink hole.

The interval is extended, while Candide, Elodie and Sikong Shu climb down the ladder and up again, to recover the chairs.

Can I stay down here? shouts Terence.

No! Come up the ladder at once, cries Belle.

But Nobby's still down here, says Terence.

The interval is extended further, while Terence and Nobby are removed from the sink hole.

A few people leave.

At last everyone is out of the sink hole and their seats re-arranged along the fence line. The seats that had been moved forward have been moved to a safer position.

Unfortunately, due to the extent of the sink hole, the entire forty seats are now arranged along the fence line. The last few, behind bushes.

Problem! says Sweezus. The people at the far end won't see anything.

It sure is a problem.

Does it qualify as a gardening problem?

Maybe Costa will solve it.