The Rules Of Cannot But Be

On the Cathay Pacific flight from Paris to Hong Kong:

Now, says Gaius. This will be a long flight. Settle in.

Terence has noticed that there is no seat for Mouldy.

Never mind, says Gaius. I suppose they thought P. krameri would be in a cage.

So it's MY seat, says Mouldy.

Share it, says Gaius. It's wide enough for a parakeet and a pebble.

Yes, says Terence. That means you can both sit next to me and we can play cannot but be.

What's this? says Gaius.

A game you invented, says Terence. But you're not playing.

I don't recall inventing a game called cannot but be, says Gaius.

It was science, says Terence. You said of course it cannot but be.

I did? says Gaius. Very well, play cannot but be while I bone up on the forty spotted pardalote.

As a matter of interest, how many spots does it have ? asks P. krameri.

I'll let you know, says Gaius. It may be forty, but equally, forty may just be an average.

Okay, says Terence. Let's play!

He explains the rules of cannot but be to P. krameri and Mouldy.

Will they get it?

Let's see.

What would it be if there were two beetles? says Terence.

Don't know, says Mouldy. Two beetles?

Two bees, says Terence.

Mouldy looks puzzled.

P. krameri thinks he gets it.

Cannot but bee! says P. krameri.

Bees, says Terence. But you were close.

Mouldy snorts through his green stuck on feathers.

What? asks Terence.

Let's play something else, says Mouldy.

Okay, says Terence. I know. You be the egg.

Egg? says P. krameri. I hope this isn't what I'm thinking.

You're the bird, he's the egg, says Terence. But he has to turn over.

No way, says Mouldy. What about my false beak?

If you don't, you won't look like an egg, says Terence.

Gaius is finding it hard to concentrate on the characteristics of the forty spotted pardalote.

Fortunately, dinner is about to be served.

Already the delightful aroma of fried fish with sweetcorn sauce on jasmine rice is floating up the aisle towards him.