Huge Egg Inside

Gaius sits down on a heap of damp leafy detritus.

Who wants to go first? asks Gaius. Or perhaps you'd consent to being photographed together?

I wouldn't, says the kakapo. Because I like to pose and he doesn't.

Fine, says Gaius. You pose, and I'll snap you.

The kakapo arranges her yellow-green plumage, composes her distinct facial disc, opens her beak slightly.

Ready, says she.

Snap!

Now me, says the kiwi.

He stands still, without changing anything.

Snap!

Gaius shows them the photos.

Your head's even bigger, says the kiwi.

You look like a white blob with black eye-dots, says the kakapo.

Not a blob, says Gaius. There's plenty of detail, if you look closely.

He looks closely. The kakapo and kiwi do not.

Why did you want a pencil? asks the kiwi.

I like to make notes, says Gaius. 

And you can't, says the kakapo. Until Arthur comes back with a pencil.

We can chat, if you like, says Gaius.

Arthur's been to China, says the kakapo.

I know, says Gaius. I went as well. 

Did you sleep on Lingshan Mountain? asks the kakapo.

No, says Gaius. Arthur and Shu went up with Richie. I was meeting with Dr Min Zhu from the Institute of Vertebrate Paleontology at the Chinese Academy of Sciences. I was researching the entelognathus, a 419 million year old armoured fish, the first creature to evolve jaws....

Boring, says the kiwi.

No it isn't says the kakapo. Shu wrote a beautiful poem, and Richie Porte rode for Team Sky.

He did, at the time, says Gaius. This year I believe he is riding for Team Ineos. That reminds me...

I thought you were interested in me, says the kiwi, but as you're not, I'll be going.

I am, says Gaius. I'm just waiting for the pencil. But let's talk about you. How is your eyesight?

Not too good, says the kiwi. I rely heavily on my other senses.

So much for your opinion of my photo, says the kakapo. My head is the right size.

And are there other rare white kiwis on the island? asks Gaius.

My partner, says the kiwi. She's plodding around somewhere with a huge egg inside her.

Bad luck her, says the kakapo.

Don't tell me that's never happened to you, says the kiwi.

Yes, but it won't happen this year, says the kakapo.