Non And Non

Katherine locates her book.

Here it is, says Katherine. 

The kakapo flicks through it.

She stops flicking, at the second half of Proust's longest sentence.

Did you know there's a page missing? asks the kakapo.

No, says Katherine. Let me see. 

Pages 31 and 32, says the kakapo. 

Chapter Three, says Katherine. Luckily, I'm up to Chapter Six.

I'll start at Chapter Four, says the kakapo.

She's a fast reader. She speeds through How to Suffer Successfully and How to Express your Emotions.

Good isn't it, says Katherine. Have you read the real thing?

What is the real thing? asks the kakapo.

In Search of Lost Time, says Katherine. I have. But it's awfully long.

No, I haven't, says the kakapo. May I read Chapter Six, or don't you want me to?

How to Be a Good Friend, says Katherine. Why don't you read it to me?

That sounds cosy, says the kakapo. All right I will. Do you have any nibbles?

How would you go with dried cranberries? asks Katherine.

What colour are they? asks the kakapo.

Dark red, says Katherine.

Vitamin content? asks the kakapo. I'm only asking because I like to eat berries that are high in calcium and vitamin D.

I don't know, says Katherine. To be honest.

The kakapo tries one.

Yum. 

She reads Chapter Six out loud to Katherine.

They laugh when she gets to the part where Proust and James Joyce meet for the first time at a dinner party at the Ritz, and their talk consists only of the word Non. 

Proust: Do you know the duc de so and so? Joyce: Non.

Hostess: Have you read this piece in  Ulysses? Proust: Non.

That's so funny, says the kakapo. You'd think they'd have had a deep conversation.

I can think of many reasons why they wouldn't, says Katherine.

The kakapo takes another dried cranberry. Eats it.

Are you reading anything interesting at the moment? asks Katherine.

Soul Mountain, says the kakapo. I found it in the quarantine station.

What's it about? asks Katherine.

Lingshan Mountain, in China, says the kakapo. 

You don't say! says Katherine. Arthur's been there! Have you met Arthur?

Non, says the kakapo.