One In The Neck

Already been counted? says Katherine.

Yes, says the kakapo.

David counted her, says Baudin.

I'll cross her out then, says Katherine. Where are you going?

Just sauntering together, says Baudin.

Mind if I join you? says Katherine. I haven't found Gaius or Arthur.

Have you tried the whistle? asks Baudin.

No, I don't want to give in too early, says Katherine. 

Well said, says the kakapo. 

I'm the permit holder, says Katherine. 

Then they should be looking for you, says the kakapo.

They won't be, says Katherine. I might just go back to the bunkhouse and curl up with my book.

What book is that? asks the kakapo.

How Proust Can Change Your Life, says Katherine. 

I should like to read that, says the kakapo.

Katherine looks surprised,

The kakapo can read, says Baudin. She has proved it. She read the sign on our box.

A false sign, says the kakapo. 

Do you read much? asks Katherine.

Whatever I can lay my claws on, says the kakapo.

Books? asks Katherine.

Books, tickets, scientific printouts, says the kakapo. 

Where do you find them? asks Katherine.

Researchers leave them behind, says the kakapo. I've just been reading about passive integrated transponders. I was interested, because I've got one in my neck, and I get the occasional headache and I wondered whether it might be a documented side effect.

Good heavens! says Katherine. And is it?

It's not documented, says the kakapo. Probably because no researcher has asked us.

I get the occasional headache, says Baudin.

Are you tagged too? asks the kakapo.

No, says Baudin. I'm a free agent.

Then your input is useless, says the kakapo.

You are blunt, says Baudin. I like that.

By now they have reached the bunkhouse. 

Coming in? asks Katherine. I'll show you my book.

Not me, says Baudin, I'm not supposed to be here.

I thought not, says the kakapo. An invertebrate on a research team!

Au revoir, joli perroquet, says Baudin.

He shuffles off.

He's quite nice, observes Katherine. It's the other one you want to watch out for.

The kakapo nods sagely, and follows Katherine into the bunkhouse. 

Katherine looks for the book.