Saturday, March 15, 2025

Finished Or What?

 Luckily, the German Colonel  lives a charmed life.

Are you okay? asks Candide.

No, says the German Colonel. Have you forgotten that you’ve just run me through with a sword?

No, says Candide. But you look like you’re bleeding.

I slipped on that cursed herring, says the German Colonel. Who would have expected to find a herring in an arbour?

In a bottle, says Candide. I must get to the bottom of this mystery.

He exits the stage.

The German Colonel sits up and addresses the audience.

A slight mishap, says the German Colonel. I’m supposed to have died.

Make up your mind! shouts someone.

Is it a real herring? asks someone else.

No, it isn’t, replies the German Colonel.

Candide runs back on with a dustpan and brush. He sweeps the broken glass into the dustpan and hurries off again.

The audience is confused. Not a real herring, but real broken glass?

This AI competition is tricky.

Candide comes back on.

The German Colonel lies down again.

Dead. Run through with a sword.

The so-called herring lies on the stage, next to his foot.

O God! cries Candide. What have I done?

Enter Cacambo, a servant Candide brought with him, from Cadiz.

You must escape at once, says Cacambo. Put on his clothes. Then no one will question you.

But they’re covered in blood, says Candide.

A mere spot, says Cacambo.

No, says Candide.  A bit more than that.

It’s true. The German Colonel’s costume has blood on the trousers.

So what will I do? asks Candide.

Borrow his cloak, says Cacambo.

He doesn’t have one, says Candide.

I’ll get it, says Cacambo.

He runs off and comes back with nothing.

Candide looks surprised. Then he twigs. Yes, a pretend cloak. No worries.  He puts it on.

He and Cacambo exit the stage.

The German Colonel stands up, picks up the herring, and walks off.

Hard to see if there’s blood on his trousers.

The lights have dimmed.

Silence.

Is it finished?

Or what.

 

No comments: