Head For The Buns

Late next morning, the final rehearsal.

Scene one. The Old Lady, Candide and Cunégonde escape to Cadiz on Horseback.

Candide has just killed Don Issachar and the Grand Inquisitor.

They lie dead on the floor.

Excellent! says Vello That looks realistic.

Thanks, says Candide.

Continue, says Vello.

What will happen to me now? asks Cunégonde. If the police come, we are done for!

Let us ask the old lady, says Candide.

But of course there is no old lady. She's still at the Adelaide airport.

No worries, says Candide. I've got this.

He fiddles with his AI equipment.

An old lady appears, with Cunégonde's face.

There are three thoroughbreds in the stables. says the old lady in Cunégonde's voice.

Hey, says Cunégonde. You've called up the wrong version.

Shit-a-brick! says Candide. 

The old lady with Cunegonde's face flickers, and goes out.

A new old lady appears in her place.

This one has Gaius's face, and Gaius's half-bottom.

I'll go and saddle the horses, says Candide. He exits the stage.

This had better work, grumbles Vello.

Candide returns leading what looks like a horse, with the face of an infant. 

Where are we going? asks the horse.

Huh? says Candide.

Extemporise, hisses Cunégonde.

To Cadiz, says Candide to the horse.

Then three horses are needed! says the horse.

I don't remember any of this, says Vello. But it's good. Keep it in.

They break for a late morning coffee, and a big plate of buns. 

Do I smell coffee? asks David, entering the rehearsal room.

Help yourself, says Vello.

How's the rehearsal going? asks David. Is it me yet?

We're still sorting out the horses, says Vello.

Is that one of them? asks David, pointing to the horse with Terence's face.

It is, says Vello. 

The horse with Terence's face is an AI horse.

Neither a real horse nor Terence.

It has a mind of it's own. An AI mind.

It decides it will head for the buns.