Strategic Enlargement

Fake! shout several audience members.

Vello runs back onto the stage.

Save your guesses till the end, please! says Vello. 

He runs off.

The flickering old lady flickers out entirely and is replaced by Gaius in his skirt and cushion.

That's the real old lady, whispers Hedley.

No prizes for spotting the real one, whispers his mother.

Yes but.... says Hedley.

Shush, Hedley, says his mother.

The old lady is waiting for silence.

There are three thorougbreds in the stables with saddles and bridles, says the old lady. You must get them ready.

Candide hurries off.

I don't know how I'm going to manage with only one buttock, says the old lady.

Youll manage somehow, says Cunégonde.

Candide returns, leading two AI horses with Terence's face, and a smaller pony, which is the actual Terence.

Ha ha! laughs the audience.

Because it is funny.

Get on quickly, says Candide. We must hurry.

I'll take the pony, says Cunégonde. 

She lifts up her skirts, which are divided.

Terence backs in, leaving only his head showing.

Now for the part which no one is expecting.

Terence pulls the vinegar bottle from the back of his shorts. 

He unwinds the string a little.

And places the vinegar bottle down on the floor. 

The dead baby maugean skate in the vinegar bottle rolls slightly.

This is going to be your best adventure ever, whispers Terence. 

Candide has already trotted off stage successfully, due to some tricky leg movements, and a strategic enlargement of his horse's rear end. 

The old lady attempts to mount her horse. After a few false starts she gives up, and leads her horse off stage, muttering, Come along, my beauty.

I'm coming, says Cunégonde. 

She makes a half turn.

The vinegar bottle rumbles.

Here I go! says Cunegonde. Ready, my little pony?

She turns fully, and jogs off the stage.

Terence jogs underneath her.

Yay this is working!

The dead skate in the vinegar bottle trails behind them.

The audience is uncertain as to what they've just seen.

What do you think that was? asks Hedley's mother.

A prop, says Hedley. And it's going to be mine.