Weird Play

Gaius pulls up outside Devonport Bike Hire.

Surfing-with-Whales is inside, talking to Damo.

Yeah, turns out the skates've got a bright future, says Surfing-with-Whales. That's if you believe the environment minister.

So you'll be heading home, says Damo.

Yep, says Surfing-with-Whales. Back to Adelaide, while the Fringe is still on.

Cool, says Damo. I went once. 

What did you go to? asks Surfing-with-Whales.

Heaps of things, says Damo. Stand-up, mainly, and my girlfriend took me to see this weird play. 

My friends are in a weird play this year, says Surfing-with-Whales. 

No kidding? says Damo. 

Here they are now, says Surfing-with-Whales.

I've booked our tickets for tonight's crossing, says Gaius. 

I heard you're in a weird play, back in Adelaide, says Damo. 

Not too weird, I hope, says Gaius.

I'm in it, says Terence. I'm a horse, or I might be three horses. 

That is kind of weird, says Damo. What's the play called?

Candide, says Gaius. An excerpt. Using AI this time, which is why Terence can play all three horses.

That rings a bell, says Damo. Candide was the weird play I saw. There was this old lady in it with only one buttock. It was like she had a cushion under her skirt on one side, so on that side it looked massive, and on the other side it looked like she didn't have a bum cheek. Soldiers were meant to have eaten it.

That was I, says Gaius. I specialise in playing the old lady. This year I hope, thanks to AI, we'll be able to do away with the cushion.

It won't be as good, says Damo. The cushion was funny. 

I value your opinion, says Gaius. Now, how much do we owe you?

Call it two hundred, says Damo. Better check the bikes first though.

They go outside.

Looks fine, says Damo. How was the pullalong?

Good, says Terence. So was my skateboard. 

The one I gave you? says Damo.

Yes, the skates had a go on it, says Terence. They learned how to do tricks. But third baby skate had an accident because he was ......

Never mind that, says Gaius.

And now he's a herring, says Terence. 

Ha ha, laughs Damo. You should put that in your play.