Or Was It The Day Before?

Francine went over to the kiosk.

Are you selling penguin pies? she asked.

Of course not, said the man behind the counter. There aren't enough penguins here as it is. They're protected, you know.

Well my friend is eating one right now, said Francine.

Then I'm calling the police, said the man.

Francine walked back to the table. Gaius had finished his pie.

You've eaten the evidence, said Francine.

What evidence? asked Gaius.

Of your crime, said Francine. Possessing and eating a pie containing a protected species.

It was a joke, said Gaius. Have you no sense of humour?

Some joke, if it was a joke, said Francine. So you were just trying to avoid sharing your pie?

Yes, said Gaius. I was hungry.

You could have said so, said Francine. Now the police are involved.

Good heavens! What shall I do? said Gaius. My reputation will be in tatters.

Don't worry, said Sweezus. I'll take the blame. I don't have a reputation.

But why do it? asked Camus.

I'm exploring nihilism, said Sweezus. What does it matter? Why should I care? Mother died yesterday, or was it the day before? That sort of thing.

Good for you, said Camus.

What's this about your mother? asked Gaius.

Nothing, said Sweezus. Ask Camus.

Dad-on-Holiday

The Camus family, Sweezus and Gaius walked over to Granite Island via the causeway.

What are we going to see? asked Camus, in a dad-on-holiday voice.

PENGUINS! shouted the twins.

Fairy penguins, said Francine.

FAIRY PENGUINS! cried Catherine.

Where? asked Jean,looking around at the bare granite rocks.

We have to look for them, said Sweezus. They live in their burrows. Let's climb up these steps.

They climbed the steps, stopping at the top to admire the spectacular view of the ocean waves crashing onto the rocks below.

How beautiful, said Francine.

Penguins! said Catherine. I want to see penguins!

Where are they? asked Camus. I thought they'd be all over the place.

Oh no, said Gaius. They'll be out fishing. But look over there. Those are their burrows.

Where? said Catherine.

Those holes under the rocks, said Sweezus. See all the white marks? That's their poo.

Poopoo! said Jean.

Poopoo! said Catherine. Mummy, I need the toilet.

Me too, said Jean.

Oh merde! said Camus. Francine where is the toilet?

Back down the steps, said Francine. Would you like to take them?

Alright, sighed Camus. Just give me the wipes.

He took the twins by the hand and set off heavily down the wooden steps.

Francine sat down on a rock. Sweezus and Gaius did the same.

We don't know much about penguins, she admitted. We should have done more research.

I know something, said Gaius. I've made a study of birds. There are only one hundred and fifty fairy penguins left on this island. There used to be more. You see that small island over there? That's West Island. Over two thousand fairy penguins live there. And that's because it's difficult for humans to reach.

The children will be disappointed, said Francine. Let's hope the kiosk is open.

Yes, let's hope so, said Gaius. My breakfast has completely worn off.

Mine too, said Sweezus. I'm starving! Let's go down before the others come back.

Dull Story

And did they drown? asked Pliny the Elder, interestedly.

Did who drown? I asked.

The old woman and the old man, said Pliny.

Why should they drown? I asked.

You wrote: An old woman and an old man with a walking stick walked off the jetty arm in arm, said Pliny. I assumed they were ending it all.

No Pliny! They weren't walking off the end of the jetty. They'd been out on the jetty, and were returning. Very slowly. They got to the place where the jetty begins. They stopped and looked both ways. Then they walked off the jetty.

Humph! snorted Pliny. You made that very unclear yesterday. I was full of admiration for the old couple when I thought they had decided to end it all, while they still both had the wherewithal.

Pliny! That may have seemed admirable to you Romans, but it is not admirable these days. That would have been a shocking occurrence.

Yes, said Pliny, pityingly. I suppose it would. So what did the old couple do then?

They shuffled slowly across the path in front of the kiosk and stopped directly opposite the door. They conferred for a minute or two. Then they went inside.

Did they come out again?

No, not that I saw.

What a dull story, said Pliny.

Uneventful Walks - 4a

The fourth and final uneventful walk began outside the Largs Pier Hotel after dinner, when it was dark.

We crossed the road, passed the kiosk, which was closed, and walked out onto the Largs jetty. The wind was blowing hard out there. We walked to the end of the jetty where a man was fishing and a young woman looked cold and bored. We turned and walked back to the Esplanade.

Next, we turned south and began walking towards the Palais. The wind was blowing hard on the Esplanade as well, and we were walking into it. We turned up Alexander Street, crossed Military Road and entered Wattle Street, which curved towards the railway line.

In Largs North, the night streets were quiet. The footpath was made of concrete slabs. The trees were black, the gardens dark. Muted colours beamed from the windows and curtained doors. A single cyclist turned on to Wattle Street as we crossed the railway line.

At the end of the street we turned left into Fletcher Road. Now we were heading back towards Military Road in a kind of a triangle. Before we reached Military Road we re-crossed the railway line, at the place where Little Street cuts across and joins up with Afric Street, just before Persic Street. I like the names of these streets.

Soon we reached Jetty Road which leads back to The Largs Pier Hotel, and the Largs jetty. The little old colonial shops on Jetty Road were closed but some of their windows were lit up. One shop displayed bright coloured cushions and one displayed antiques. On the other side was a tiny trendy cafe, still open. And the hotel bottle shop shone garishly at the end, under the hotel arches.

So ended the fourth uneventful walk.