Readers, allow me to introduce myself. I am Stephen Hawking. It is an honour to have been asked by the editors of Velosophy to submit an article on the latest research into the use of bicycles in astrophysics.
I have long been interested in bicycles. I have often dreamed of riding one, but alas that is not to be. However, if you will excuse a jocular reference to a pet theory of Professor Sigmund Freud, I have been on a journey.
It is a journey into astrophysics and the secrets of Black Holes. Or more correctly, the secret of Black Holes, for current theory suggests that there is only one.
As you know, we scientists have come to many dead ends in this field. We are at one now, with the No Hair Theorem and the Black Hole Information Paradox.
In a nutshell, the No Hair Theorem attests that we can observe only three properties of Black Holes: their mass, their charge and their angular momentum. All other information disappears below the Black Hole horizon. Therefore all Black Holes are identical as far as we can see. That is, they have no other observable properties; in other words, No Hair! Quite comical, I'm sure you will agree.
I do not wish to bore my readers. I shall now come to the point. I have read with much interest Salvador Dali's brilliant article referring to his NanoString Bicycle. I too have been thinking along the lines of using bicycles as a way of discovering more about the entropy of Black Holes.
In particular I am interested in following up the String. That most intriguing green, blue and violet String. For the String represents a way of coming back from inside the hole. I am in the process of developing an equation to represent this backward movement. It involves finding the square root of B.
The square root of B ? you ask. Fascinating, but what is B ?
Readers, here is the sticking place. We are looking for suggestions. For as yet we do not know whether it is Bang, or Bicycle, or Backwardness, or, as some suggest, itself, the letter B. This last has some credibility, believe it or not. Astrophysics is agreed by many astrophysicists in their more reflective moments to be reliant on semantics, after all.
So dear cycling philosophers, let me know your ideas. The scientific world is always open to input from people like you.
Showing posts with label nanostring. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nanostring. Show all posts
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Saturday, October 31, 2009
No Hair Theorem
Well, what does he say? Le Bon David asked impatiently. The VeloDrone cleared his throat.
The VeloDrone: ( reading in the tone of a voice-synthesizer ) Gentlemen. Perhaps you have heard of me. My name is Stephen Hawking....
Le Bon David: No need to do the voice, just read it.
The VeloDrone: Sorry, I can't help it. Gentlemen, de da de da.....I read with interest the recent article by your esteemed contributor Mr Salvador Dali, in which he describes a certain Nano String bicycle.
Le Bon David: Oh here we go. He's going to pull it to pieces.
The VeloDrone: No no, it doesn't look like it. Let me read on...... I feel I should point out that I too have been working on a Theory of NanoString Bicycles with particular reference to their usefulness in researching the Theory of Everything, as it relates to the Black Hole Information Paradox, the No Hair Theorem, and the No Boundary Universe, with which you gentlemen are no doubt familiar.
Le Bon David: Humpphh. I'm certainly not. Are you?
The VeloDrone: No, I'm not either.....But listen to this....... I am writing to let you know that I am willing , indeed more than willing, to contribute an article to your magazine Velosophy, upon these subjects. Gentlemen, I await your response. Yours faithfully, Stephen Hawking.
Le Bon David: Well! I suppose we should be grateful he isn't trying to blackmail us.
The VeloDrone: Isn't he? What does he mean by 'more than willing'? What choice do we really have? Reject the famous Stephen Hawking? I don't think so.
Le Bon David: I don't like it at all. How have we managed to lose control of our own magazine?
What's he going to write for goodness sake? What the devil is this No Hair Theory?
The VeloDrone: Theorem, David. No Hair Theorem. I don't know, but I suppose we are shortly to find out.
The VeloDrone: ( reading in the tone of a voice-synthesizer ) Gentlemen. Perhaps you have heard of me. My name is Stephen Hawking....
Le Bon David: No need to do the voice, just read it.
The VeloDrone: Sorry, I can't help it. Gentlemen, de da de da.....I read with interest the recent article by your esteemed contributor Mr Salvador Dali, in which he describes a certain Nano String bicycle.
Le Bon David: Oh here we go. He's going to pull it to pieces.
The VeloDrone: No no, it doesn't look like it. Let me read on...... I feel I should point out that I too have been working on a Theory of NanoString Bicycles with particular reference to their usefulness in researching the Theory of Everything, as it relates to the Black Hole Information Paradox, the No Hair Theorem, and the No Boundary Universe, with which you gentlemen are no doubt familiar.
Le Bon David: Humpphh. I'm certainly not. Are you?
The VeloDrone: No, I'm not either.....But listen to this....... I am writing to let you know that I am willing , indeed more than willing, to contribute an article to your magazine Velosophy, upon these subjects. Gentlemen, I await your response. Yours faithfully, Stephen Hawking.
Le Bon David: Well! I suppose we should be grateful he isn't trying to blackmail us.
The VeloDrone: Isn't he? What does he mean by 'more than willing'? What choice do we really have? Reject the famous Stephen Hawking? I don't think so.
Le Bon David: I don't like it at all. How have we managed to lose control of our own magazine?
What's he going to write for goodness sake? What the devil is this No Hair Theory?
The VeloDrone: Theorem, David. No Hair Theorem. I don't know, but I suppose we are shortly to find out.
Feedback
Le Bon David and the VeloDrone are sharing a stiff drink at the end of the day.
Le Bon David: Well, we published it. Now to be damned.
The VeloDrone: Maybe, maybe not. I wonder what the readers will make of it.
Le Bon David: Pseudo-scientific arty-farty claptrap I suppose. Typical Dali. Still, we hadn't any choice.
The VeloDrone: True. But I quite liked his nanostring bicycle idea, even though it wasn't scientific or reasonable or philosophical. Could it be we've had too strict a view of what Velosophy is all about?
Le Bon David: Perhaps. Maybe Dali is right. People love the new. Therefore they will love a pseudo-scientific arty-farty concept for a new and incredibly weird bicycle. Anyway, we'll soon find out.
The VeloDrone: Look. We've just got an email.
Le Bon David: Good! Feedback. Who's it from?
The VeloDrone: Ooh dear! You won't like this!
Le Bon David: Who? Who?
The VeloDrone: It's from Stephen Hawking!
Le Bon David: Crumbs! Surely he doesn't own a bicycle!
Le Bon David: Well, we published it. Now to be damned.
The VeloDrone: Maybe, maybe not. I wonder what the readers will make of it.
Le Bon David: Pseudo-scientific arty-farty claptrap I suppose. Typical Dali. Still, we hadn't any choice.
The VeloDrone: True. But I quite liked his nanostring bicycle idea, even though it wasn't scientific or reasonable or philosophical. Could it be we've had too strict a view of what Velosophy is all about?
Le Bon David: Perhaps. Maybe Dali is right. People love the new. Therefore they will love a pseudo-scientific arty-farty concept for a new and incredibly weird bicycle. Anyway, we'll soon find out.
The VeloDrone: Look. We've just got an email.
Le Bon David: Good! Feedback. Who's it from?
The VeloDrone: Ooh dear! You won't like this!
Le Bon David: Who? Who?
The VeloDrone: It's from Stephen Hawking!
Le Bon David: Crumbs! Surely he doesn't own a bicycle!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
NanoString Bicycle
People! Remember me? It is I, Salvador Dali. The only difference between myself and a madman is: I am not mad. Ah yes, you remember me now!
It was I who painted the fourth dimension, in the shape of eight cubes. It was I who depicted the bending of light in the form of a spoon. Science, my friends, follows Dali, and Dali follows no one at all.
Surrealism may be dead. But Dali is not dead. Dali moves with the times. Dali moves before the times. The times follow Dali.
Enter my space. It is dark. What have we here? In a dark interactive tunnel you find a brilliant piece of work, by Dali. It is his new NanoString bicycle. The bicycle is blue and green and violet. These colours symbolise.....NOTHING!!! they are merely the colours Dali has chosen today. Symbolism is dead, but things must have a colour.
The NanoString bicycle is made of nano particles. They are miniscule. They are absorbed immediately into your skin. The bicycle becomes a part of you and you become the bicycle. You pedal down the dark tunnel, towards a screen at the end. You see your self riding towards you, and you are ALARMED! Momentarily. But you have forgotten your new nano qualities. You ride straight through the screen.
Crash! A million stars! Receding, receding....... You ride through dark matter, and dark energy sucks hungrily at your pedals....... you are going to vanish inside a BLACK HOLE. PANIC!!! But no. Here is the beauty and inventiveness of Dali's bicycle. The bicycle has remained attached to the tunnel by a series of nano strings, blue and green and violet. Yes! They did symbolise something afer all. They draw you back from certain extinction.The beautiful strings.
I, Dali, invented this.
It was I who painted the fourth dimension, in the shape of eight cubes. It was I who depicted the bending of light in the form of a spoon. Science, my friends, follows Dali, and Dali follows no one at all.
Surrealism may be dead. But Dali is not dead. Dali moves with the times. Dali moves before the times. The times follow Dali.
Enter my space. It is dark. What have we here? In a dark interactive tunnel you find a brilliant piece of work, by Dali. It is his new NanoString bicycle. The bicycle is blue and green and violet. These colours symbolise.....NOTHING!!! they are merely the colours Dali has chosen today. Symbolism is dead, but things must have a colour.
The NanoString bicycle is made of nano particles. They are miniscule. They are absorbed immediately into your skin. The bicycle becomes a part of you and you become the bicycle. You pedal down the dark tunnel, towards a screen at the end. You see your self riding towards you, and you are ALARMED! Momentarily. But you have forgotten your new nano qualities. You ride straight through the screen.
Crash! A million stars! Receding, receding....... You ride through dark matter, and dark energy sucks hungrily at your pedals....... you are going to vanish inside a BLACK HOLE. PANIC!!! But no. Here is the beauty and inventiveness of Dali's bicycle. The bicycle has remained attached to the tunnel by a series of nano strings, blue and green and violet. Yes! They did symbolise something afer all. They draw you back from certain extinction.The beautiful strings.
I, Dali, invented this.
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