Jealousy

I don't know what to write about today. I'm jealous of Pliny the Elder. He came up with the Blue Devil Fish, the Chocolate Biscuits and the Volcanoes just like that without even thinking.......

Pliny saw what I was writing.

Come, come, he said. Anyone can come up with three things.

Yes, but you had a theme, I said.

I did? he said. What was it?

Food, I replied. Wasn't it?

Pliny looked doubtful. The Blue Devil fish is inedible, he remarked. I remember making a point of saying so.

Yes, you did, but to say something is inedible introduces the idea of food. One thinks, on reading it, Oh I was wondering whether people eat them or not. Now I know.

Alright, said Pliny. I concede that point. But what about volcanoes? They are not food.

Volcano cakes are, I said. You can't deny it.

I can't, agreed Pliny. But, if you remember, my intention had been to write about real volcanoes, not cakes. So my original list of topics was lacking a theme.

You are very encouraging Pliny, I said. I am going to think of three things.

Good, said Pliny.

There was a pause, then he said. Have you thought of them yet?

Yes, I said. Sand. That's the first one. Embroidery, that's the second... and.....Tuesday.

You see, said Pliny. It's easy. And, he added, I'm looking forward to Tuesday.

The Minus Third Day of Christmas.

I didn't think your Minus Fourth Day of Christmas blog was very Christmassy, said Pliny the Elder.

What about the girl with the red shiny hair ? I asked. Wasn't she Christmassy?

Was she supposed to be ? asked Pliny.

That's why I put her in, I replied firmly.

So you made her up? frowned Pliny.

No Pliny, I never make anything up.

Well, what is your Christmas theme going to be today?

You probably won't believe me, but I was in North Adelaide this afternoon, waiting for my daughter, when I saw a second girl with shiny red hair crossing Ward Street. She was dressed in black. She was too far away for me to see if it was the same girl we saw at the beach.

No, said Pliny. That will not do.

What do you mean?

It is virtually the same theme.

No it isn't. The first time it was a girl with red shiny hair. The second time it was a coincidence.

But a coincidence is not in itself Christmassy.

It is, if the thing that happened twice was Christmassy.

A sophist's argument, sniffed Pliny.