Weetbix, Paintball and the Laws of Motion

They woke up very early. It was cold. There was nothing for breakfast but water and apples.

I can't eat an apple, said Sweezus. Not with this tooth. I need Weetbix with warm milk, nice and soft and mushy.

Well you won't get that here, said Belle et Bonne. Let's ride up to the meatworks and find Professor Freud. He'll probably give you some breakfast.

They packed up their things and rode to Old Noarlunga, then pushed on up the hill to the meatworks.

Awesome! said Sweezus, when they got to the high cyclone fence and saw the dilapidated corrugated iron buildings and a few paint-splattered overalls drying on a rope in the early morning sun.

A man came out of one of the buildings.

Welcome, people! he said.

Professor Freud! said Marie. Do you remember us? We met at the Tour de France a couple of years ago. The year you were ...umm ....disqualified.

Disqualified? Me? said Professor Freud. No, no! you are mistaken, my dear. I do remember you though, Marie. And you, Belle et Bonne. And your uncle, The Velodrone. And his good friend, Le Bon David. They are good friends of mine. But who is this young man?

This is Sweezus, said Belle et Bonne. He's a Tour rider as well. He's in Team Philosophe.

Yes, of course, said Professor Freud. An up and coming young rider. Ha ha! No, no. Pardon me.

What? said Sweezus. Pardon you why?

My double entendre, said Freud. I can't help them you know. Just ignore me. Would you like to come in and play Paintball? May I offer you breakfast at all?

Do you have any Weetbix? asked Sweezus.

I'm sure I have somewhere, said Professor Freud. I'll just ask the twins. He disappeared inside the corrugated iron building.

That wasn't a double entendre, said Sweezus. What a dickhead. And what was he disqualified for?

He was testing the Laws of Motion, said Marie. Throwing stones from a moving bicycle. He even tried to get Lance Armstrong to do it. But he wouldn't of course. Anyway, Freud was disqualified for disrupting the race. That's when he came up with Paintball. You can test the Laws of Motion in Paintball as well.

Yeah, right! said Sweezus. Brill!  But why does he want to?

I don't know, said Marie. You'll have to ask him.