Vaison-la-Romaine to Gap: Contemptible Courtesy

Stage Sixteen. Vaison-la-Romaine to Gap. Today will be easy. Everyone is conserving their strength for the time trials tomorrow, and the series of mountains to come.

Here are David and Vello riding along at the back.

You must hand it to Belle et Bonne, says David. No indigestion today. All that fruit!

No, agrees Vello. Only a hangover. All that Gigondas!

That wasn't her fault , says David. Blame that on Freud.

Speak of the devil, here comes Freud-Niko, behind them.

Phew! says Freud-Niko. Am I the only one with a hangover?

No, says Vello. You're not.

Quiet one today, luckily, says David. Want a Power Bar?

Thanks, says Freud-Niko.

They chew. They drop their foil wrappings on the road. They admire the spectacular escarpments.

It is hot. No need to try hard.

............

Arthur rides up behind  Surfing-With-Whales.

Hey Arthur! says Surfing-With-Whales.

Just the man I want to see, says Arthur.

Look in the mirror, says Surfing-With-Whales. I'm meant to be you.

Yes, agrees Arthur. It's bizarre. But it could turn out to be beneficial.

Yeah? says Surfing-With-Whales. Not for me mate. I thought it would be good to be in the same team as Unni.

It is, says Arthur. She's riding much faster.

To keep out of my way, says Surfing-With-Whales. She hates me. She loves you.

Irrelevant, says Arthur. In the circumstances. Could you do me a favour? But first, can I trust you?

Surfing-With-Whales isn't stupid.

Mate! says Surfing-With-Whales.

Arthur asks him the favour.

Surfing-With-Whales answers yes.

.........

Ageless has a plan. He will upset the winners. They are obviously cheating somehow.

He is waiting at the side of the road 7.5 km from the finish.

Here comes Contador. Here comes Froome. Here comes Unni.

Ageless throws a cold sausage from yesterday's picnic onto the road. Contador swerves, and loses control of his bicycle. He knocks into Froome, who comes off in a ditch.

Hurrah! Unni powers up behind. Unni will win! Team Provenance will get a stage victory! It will be all down to Ageless. Hurrah!

But what's Unni doing? She has stopped to look at the sausage. What a fool the girl is!

And now! The rest of the GC riders are stopping to wait for Froome and Contador to remount! What contemptible courtesy.

Ageless waits till they have all passed him before he retrieves his flat sausage.