Cagnes-sur-Mer to Marseille: No Time For Coasting

Today is stage five of the Tour. Cagnes-sur-Mer to Marseille.

Orica GreenEDGE are still looking lucky. Omega Pharma Quickstep have plans to wreck that.

Team Provenance-Philosophe has disbanded, and the two teams are rivals again.

Vello and David are riding together mid-peloton.

I feel better today, says David. Not so competitive.

That is not an improvement, says Vello. Tell me why?

Team Provenance is finished, says David. Ageless undermines Niko at every turn.

David, says Vello, don't underestimate Niko and his powers of recovery.

Rubbish, says David. He's behind us today. I don't call that a recovery.

Is he? says Vello, craning around and nearly decking Mark Cavendish, who's just passing.

Apologies, Mark Cavendish! says Vello. I was looking around to see Niko.

Mark Cavendish is a man in a hurry, but he hears the name Niko, and slows down.

You won't see bloody Niko behind you, says Mark Cavendish. He up in the breakaway. Don't do that again.

He speeds up, determined to win.

Well, says David. If that isn't Niko, who is it?

He cranes around to see who it is he's mistaken for Niko.

Watch out, you dickhead! shouts Simon Gerrans. I'm coming through!

Perhaps we should stop for a minute, says David. We don't want to get in the way.

You idiot, says Vello. We do want to get in the way. That's how you win, if you aren't all that fast. Stop worrying about who it is.

Sweezus and Surfing-With-Whales ride up behind them

Hi Vello and David! says Sweezus. We'll take over from here. You two oldies can coast for a bit.

Yeah, coast for a bit, says Surfing-With-Whales.

Hang on, says David. Did you by any chance see someone back there like Niko?

No, he's up the front, where we're headed, says Sweezus. He's awesome. Never touches the ground.

Sweezus and Surfing-With-Whales pick up speed.

Who the devil is it? mutters David. Same age, same build, same style of riding....... but obviously a great deal slower.

Arthur and Unni ride by.

Guess who's back there, shouts Arthur over his shoulder.

Tell me, shouts David.

Arthur shouts something indistinguishable through the noise of the crowd and their infernal bells and clappers.

Something that sounds like ANDROID.

But it couldn't be ANDROID.