Saint Gildas-des-Bois to Saint-Malo: Double Trouble

Today is Stage Ten of the Tour de France. Most of the riders used yesterday wisely. Team Philosophe and Team Provenance did not.

Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen are in the commentary box. They  notice some changes.

Phil Liggett: Correct me if I'm wrong Paul, but Team Provenance looks different today.

Paul Sherwen: No you're right, Phil. Team Provenance is short on a rider. Arthur Rimbaud has dropped out. But the team won't say why.

Phil Liggett: Dear, dear. That leaves Niko without a strong sprinter.

Paul Sherwen: That's another thing Phil. Niko isn't the captain. The captain is now Ageless Lobster.

Phil Liggett: Goodness me. That might complicate things. There's bad blood between them, I believe.

Paul Sherwen: There is. And here come Niko now, riding behind Cadel Evans. He's riding like a changed man.

Phil Liggett: Yes, he's taking his time, chatting to Cadel Evans. If only we could be a fly on the wall and hear what they're saying.

Paul Sherwen: Or a fly on the wheel.

Phil Liggett: Ha ha!

..........

Perhaps you have guessed. It's Freud-Niko chatting to Cadel Evans.

Let's be a fly on the wheel.

Cadel Evans: Niko! Behind me? That's not like you.

Freud-Niko: I'm taking it easy. We had a big  picnic lunch yesterday. Fortunately I arrived only in time for dessert.

Cadel Evans: What did you have?

Freud-Niko: Crepes and jam, caramel cakes, and prune flan.

Cadel Evan: Geez! If I'd eaten that I'd be cactus.

Freud- Niko: Interesting association.

Cadel Evans: What?

Freud-Niko: Cactus. Do you often describe yourself in such terms?

Cadel Evans: No. Yes. I suppose so.

Freud-Niko: You might like to think about that.

There is a silence while they both pedal.

Freud-Niko: It's a flat ride today.

Cadel Evans: Yeah...... Crikey! Did you see that? Who just rode past us?

Freud-Niko: No, I didn't.

Cadel Evans: If I didn't know better, I'd swear it was you.

Freud-Niko: Ahem. No it was probably that Andre Greipel, or Mark Cavendish, or Marcel Kittel.

Cadel Evans: I don't think it was. He was fat and he was flying. There's only one....

Cadel turns to look hard at his fellow rider. But his fellow rider has gone.