Stage Thirteen of the Tour. Tours to St-Amand-Montrond. Another flat one.
The two Nikos are riding alongside one another, although it is risky.
This is risky, says Niko. But we need to talk.
Spit it out , says Freud-Niko. That's what I'm here for.
No, it's not what you're here for, says Niko. That's exactly my point. You've been aiding our rivals.
Because I'm a doctor, says Freud-Niko.
And? Niko narrows his eyes.
Alright, says Freud-Niko. It's good for business.
I wouldn't mind, says Niko, but everyone thinks that you're me.
And you? says Freud-Niko. Do you think that you're me?
You won't catch me out that way , says Niko. Just keep a low profile, that's all.
He speeds up, his wheels barely touching the ground.
A wind springs up.
Alejandro Valverde gets a puncture. The peloton splits into three groups. How do these things happen?
Arthur is in the first group, and Sweezus is in the second group, with Unni.
Unni rides up beside Sweezus.
Hi, Unni, says Sweezus. Looks like I've split up with Arthur.
I wish, says Unni. He's on your team now. I've lost him.
You should get back with Surfing-With-Whales, says Sweezus. He reckons he loves you.
He can reckon, says Unni. I'm so over him.
He's a bit of a nong, agrees Sweezus.
He's not that bad, says Unni. Turns out he knows Latin.
Yeah, I heard, says Sweezus. So what? I know Latin.
Tell me some Latin, says Unni.
Sweezus racks his brains for some Latin.
HIC IACET, says Sweezus.
Hick? says Unni, suspiciously.
Here, says Sweezus, with confidence.
Jacket? says Unni.
Lies, says Sweezus.
Oh yeah? says Unni. I'm so not impressed.
She rides off, to try and catch up with the first group, and Arthur.
She bets Arthur knows Latin.
She rides so fast that she is there at the finish just a few seconds behind the stage winner Mark Cavendish.
But wait. Does that mean she has passed Arthur, without even noticing?
Has Arthur come to grief in a ditch?
Hic iacet Arthur?
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