Stage Twenty, the last day of climbing, from Annecy to Annecy-Semnoz. Last chance for the climbers to shine.
Arthur and Unni are riding together, even though they are no longer team mates.
How much is left of my money? asks Arthur.
Our money, says Unni. Not much. It's expensive to ride in the Tour. Did you get your gold coins back?
Not yet, says Arthur. There's a hitch.
What hitch? asks Unni.
It's my fault, says Arthur. All we had to do was change outfits. Then I could have gone in myself. They would have given me the coins. He wouldn't have had to steal the Lost Property Box.
What! cries Unni. Who did? Surfing-With-Whales?
Yes, says Arthur. He stole it. Sweezus told me.
That's awful, says Unni.
No, says Arthur. That's what I would have done, if I had to. He and Sweezus are too much like me.
Sweezus! says Unni. He would never...
Then where are my gold coins? says Arthur. But don't worry, I'll get them back.
Unni looks scornfully at Arthur. All this fuss about coins. But Arthur, her dear handsome poet, looks green.
Arthur, says Unni, You look green.
I shouldn't have eaten that sausage, says Arthur.
Tell me all about it, says Unni.
So will Arthur now spill the beans?
..........
Niko is up near the front of the peloton. Alberto Contador rides up alongside.
Per favore, Niko? says Alberto, and other words similarly Spanish.
Niko understands every language, being a bishop and saint.
It is a case of mistaken identity.
I'm not him, says Niko. You'll find him near the back, dressed like a lobster.
Alberto is disappointed, and now must make up for lost time.
.........
So it is that Stage Twenty is won by Nairo Quintana, the young Columbian rider, of Team Movistar.
Quintana, who has never been troubled by self doubt or trick substitutions.
Who has never lost gold coins in a ditch and had them stolen by friends.
Who has never ridden over a hazardous sausage deliberately placed there by Ageless.
Who has had a sensible plan, and a hard working team, up to now.
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