Bourg-d'Oisans to Le Grand-Bornand: Tension

Stage Nineteen, from Bourg-d'Oisans to Le Grand-Bornand, is another day of hard climbs.

Niko and Freud-Niko ride side by side like old comrades, although there is tension between them.

It's not working too well, says Niko, this switching about that we're doing.

Tell me about it, says Freud-Niko. They all think I'm you, and believe me, I'm not used to jeering.

If they are jeering, says Niko, it's not  because they think that you're me. It's because you've made yourself look ridiculous.

Yah! cries an onlooker. Gros homard!

You see, says Niko. It's that lobster outfit you're wearing.

It's the same thing that Ageless was wearing, says Freud-Niko. Just been let out a bit. I can't see it looks any different.

You can't see the back, says Niko.

He speeds up to begin the ascent of the Col de la Madeleine.

Freud-Niko is suddenly self-conscious.

Hmm, thinks Freud-Niko. So that's how it feels. Must make a note for my clinic.

He rides onwards and upwards trying to keep himself small.

........

It is the final climb of the day, up the Col de la Croix Fry.

Arthur is riding behind Froome, who is riding behind blue Team Sky.

Arthur has his eyes fixed on Froome's yellow jersey.

Sweezus rides up behind him.

Arthur, says Sweezus. Let's attack.

Sweezus and Arthur attack, but are immediately caught by Team Sky.

Shit! says Sweezus. That was a waste of .......Woooo!

He goes for a slide, and lands in a ditch.

Arthur stops.

Sweezus has slipped on a sausage that someone has thrown on the road.

Sweezus stares at the sausage, which looks familiar.

That was meant for Froome, he says darkly.

How do you know? says Arthur, picking up the end of the sausage that doesn't look dirty.

Evidence, says Sweezus. Surfing-With-Whales found photographic evidence......

Oops! Shut up Sweezus! Don't tell Arthur where the evidence was found.

But Sweezus is toiling up the Col de la Croix Fry, and cannot hold two thoughts in his head at one time.

Where? asks Arthur suspiciously, biting into the sausage.

In the Lost Property Box, says Sweezus. Yesterday. Yeah, lucky he found it. Or Ageless was fucked. And Team Provenance was fucked as well.

What else did he find? asks Arthur.

Oh Arthur! You look so innocent standing there eating a sausage. And they were your coins that were lost. You even had a receipt for them, written by Niko.

But...

Nothing, says Sweezus.