This Gentleman Will Pay For Everything

Margaret draws Rosamunda Secunda aside.

Did I hear you correctly? says Margaret. Zheiwei xiansheng hui qingdan maidan?

Yes, says Rosamunda. It's the coolest Mandarin phrase on Omniglot. Except for the totally nutso one about the eels.

This gentleman will pay for everything, says Margaret slowly. Do I take it you mean Gaius?

Not necessarily, says Rosamunda, glancing at Arthur. Arthur has money too.

Are you suggesting, says Margaret, that we swan around Yunnan province saying Zheiwei xiansheng hui qingdan maidan?

Rosamunda wasn't. But she is now.

Yes, says Rosamunda. We can point at Arthur or at Gaius. Neither of them speaks Chinese.

This is all very well, says Margaret, and I am tempted.....

But? says Rosamunda.

It won't work here, says Margaret. Here everyone speaks English.What about the extra ticket?

Oh come on, Margaret, says Rosamunda. One little plane ticket. It's either that or..... you don't come at all.

Margaret can't help admiring the manipulative little minx.

Gaius, says Margaret. No need to fret. I shall pay for my own ticket.

Gaius fails to simulate the look of a man who has no further need of fretting.

His phone rings. It's Sweezus.

What is it? says Gaius crossly. I'm very busy.

A news flash, says Sweezus. About the Twitcher. Not him exactly. His species.

Not now, says Gaius. Oh dear, yes, what is it then?

Forget it man, says Sweezus, slamming down the phone.

Arthur, says Gaius. Call him back. I seem to have upset him.

I'll go and see him, says Arthur. And I'll get myself a scraper while I'm out.

He leaves, before anyone can stop him.

When do we leave for China? says Rosamunda Secunda.

Tomorrow, says Gaius. We fly to Kunming. Then on to Qujing. Once there, we find the Tongyue Garden Hotel which should be easy. It is painted bright pink. Then we call Professor Min Zhu, and arrange a meeting at the Institute of Vertebrate Paleontology and Paleoanthropology at the Chinese Academy of Sciences to discuss the Entelognathus.

How thrilling, says Rosamunda Secunda, going up to Gaius and kissing him on the cheek.

Why yes, how very thrilling....

And the gentlemen will pay for everything.