Bull Glue And Fish Glue

Arthur and Terence are at Sweezus's place.

It wasn't my fault, says Terence.

Who says it was? says Arthur, idly clicking his needles.

EVERYONE, says Terence.

If a dog bites you, says Arthur, it's the dog's fault.

Yes, says Terence. And now he must pay, by not eating.

He'll die, says Arthur. Unless he drinks soup.

Or red milkshakes, says Terence. Like I had for breakfast.

Was that a milkshake? says Arthur.

No, says Terence. It would have been, but there was no shaker.

The vet'll fix him, says Arthur.

Vets can fix anything.

But Terence is wrong about one thing. It isn't the dog that will pay.

.....

Sweezus and Farky are at the Animal Hospital, across the road from Gaius's.

Farky is whimpering, from complete lack of breakfast.

Sweezus examines the dog toys, all of which require chomping.

It's their turn to go in.

Six broken teeth! says the vet, Tony. How did that happen?

Couldn't say, says Sweezus.

Come on, says Tony. If it's animal cruelty I'll have to report you.

Biting an infant, says Sweezus. But the infant was harder than he expected.

That's okay then, says Tony. Now let's look at these teeth.

Tony grasps Farky by the snout and prises his jaws open.

Farky's eyes fill with dog tears.

Sweezus winces.

Three choices, says Tony. One, we can put Farky down, since he can't eat anything. A simple solution that will cost five hundred dollars.

Two, we can fit him up with a set of false dog teeth. This is generally successful, in the short term, and will cost you five thousand dollars. Downside is, you can't let him out of your sight. They do tend to swallow them.

Three, you could go the whole hog and get implants. Expensive. You might want to pay by instalments. Do you own your own home?

Thanks mate, says Sweezus. We'll have to think about that one.

He yanks Farky out of the surgery, through the waiting room, out the door, and across the road to Gaius's.

Gaius is home.

Still got the hound? says Gaius.

Yeah, says Sweezus. Is Lauren still here?

No, says Gaius. Gone back to Noarlunga. What's wrong with him? His mouth's bleeding.

Busted teeth, says Sweezus. We've just been to the vet's.

Don't waste your money, says Gaius.

He kneels and looks into the depleted mouth of Farky.

Roman glue, says Gaius. That's all that needed. I'll look in the cupboard.

He goes to the cupboard and comes back with two pots of ancient Roman adhesive.

Bull glue and fish glue.

Farky sniffs and looks hopeful.