Humming In Tune With The Universe

Now this bull glue, says Gaius, is made from bull's ears and genitals. Whereas the fish glue is made from icthyocolla, or fish.

Which do you recommend? asks Sweezus.

In this case, the bull glue, says Gaius. It's by far the stronger.

What d'you reckon Farky? asks Sweezus.

Let him sniff them, says Gaius.

Farky sniffs the bull glue, then the fish glue, then goes back to the bull glue.

That's how you tell what dog's like.

Good, says Gaius. That's decided. Now the next question. Where are the teeth?

In his mouth, says Sweezus. But they're broken.

Where are the broken pieces? says Gaius.

He must have swallowed them, says Sweezus.

That makes it harder, says Gaius.

Yeah, says Sweezus. Woah, Farky! Stop licking the glue.

Farky stops licking the glue.

Gaius is looking for a solution.

He has a brainwave.

It's not very fair.

In the corner of the windowsill sits the Omniscient Stone, a beautiful conglomerate.

She is gathering dust, and of recent times has given up uttering.

With one exception. She will sometimes say OMM.

Gaius gets out his geology hammer and chisel.

He picks up the Omniscient Stone. and starts chipping away at her clasts.

The Omniscient Stone knew this would happen.

Whatever. Her new life has begun.

Soon six of her best clasts are glued to Farky's teeth with bull's ear and genital glue.

And Farky is mended.

Good boy, says Sweezus, patting Farky, for being so patient.

Yes, good boy, says Gaius. Now we must keep his mouth open until the glue sets.

He looks round for a wedge,

But alas, he can't find one, and Farky closes his mouth too early.

Shit, says Sweezus. He's closed it.

Tch! says Gaius. This glue is stronger than superglue! The poor dog is doomed!

Farky stretches his lips, but his teeth will not open.

He tries to howl. Nothing happens.

Until it does.

His omniscient teeth begin to hum in tune with the universe and everything in it.

OMM.