The Science Of Piercing

Amsterdam Schiphol Airport.

The plane has arrived.

Cornelius de Pauw is waiting. A high domed Dutch man.

Hallo en welkom, says Cornelius.

Corny! says Vello. You look fit!

And you look skinny, says Corny. I must fatten you up. But David, you are fat already. Good, it is.

Nonsense, Corny! says David. This is muscle.

And who is this mooi meid? asks Corny.

It's my parrot, says Terence. It was a balloon when it started.

No, no, says Corny. I mean this lovely young lady.

This is Belle et Bonne, says Vello. My adopted daughter. Surely you remember?

She must have been a baby, says Corny. I don't.

I didn't adopt her as a BABY! says Vello.

I'm so looking forward to visiting Utrecht, says Belle, before things become awkward.

I shall be happy to show you around, say Corny. And your child. He will enjoy to see the statue of Miffy.

He isn't my child, says Belle. I'm looking after him for someone.

For Sweezus, says Terence. We're on opposite teams.

Oh, says Corny, confused, and lapsing into bad English. How come is this?

OP-POZ-IT! says Terence. We don't like the same things. It's a battle. And what's a Miffy?

 A rabbit, says Corny.

Sweezus would stomp on a rabbit, says Terence. And ooze out its guts. Then he'd EAT it.

Terence, says Belle. That's so naughty. Don't pay him any attention, Cornelius. Sweezus loves animals.

No he doesn't, says Terence. See this parrot? He would.......

Shouldn't we be catching a train? asks David.

Ja, ja, says Corny. The train to Utrecht will leave shortly. Let us collect your luggage. Have you much?

Two bicycles, says Vello. In bike bags.

Too easy. Off they go.

.......

An hour later, they get off the train in Utrecht.

Soon they are entering Corny's apartment.

It is stylish, with a modern kitchen including a microwave.

I'll just whip up some poffertjes, says Corny.

He opens a packet of ready made ones. And another packet, of powdered sugar. And little wrapped up butters.

He places the pofferjes inside the microwave oven.

This is not the old Corny, who never used short cuts.

Vello wonders if he has any herrings.

........

Yes, he has pickled herrings. Just the thing after pancakes!

Try, says Corny. He has already cut up some onion.

You eat them like this, the Dutch way.

He holds a herring by the tail, dangles it over his mouth, and eats upwards.

.......

Vello and David are taking a nap after eating the herrings.

Belle has gone out for a walk.

Corny is looking after Terence.

It will look more like a parrot, says Corny.

But it'll stink, says Terence.

That's not what you should fear, says Corny.

What should I fear? asks Terence.

Sharp herring bones, balloon, says Corny. You work it out.

Is it maths? says Terence.

Not maths, says Corny. Science. The science of piercing.

Terence doesn't like the sound of the science of piercing.

He wants Belle to come back.