The Split Between Knower And Known

Gaius flicks the switch on his cordless Ryobi.

Farky's eyes widen.

The Omniscient Teeth turn pale.

No need to worry, says Gaius. I'm using my smallest drill bit. Hold his head steady.

Sweezus grips Farky's head.

Oh. The bones in his skull feel so fragile.

Farky's head vibrates. Buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz.

Done, says Gaius, switching the drill off. Let's see the damage.

Farky's mouth is set in a horrible rictus.

Sweezus and Gaius look in at the Teeth.

The Teeth, which were rounded, being formed from conglomerate clasts, are now sharply triangular.

That's heaps good, says Sweezus. Pointed teeth. Want a snack, Farky?

Gaius goes into the pantry to look for a snack.

For some reason, Farky does not seem excited at the prospect.

What's up Farky? says Sweezus. Snack time. You must be starving.

Farky is trying to say something. What is it? Come on Teeth, make an effort!

Cnt, says Farky.

Shit, says Sweezus. Gaius! He still can't open his mouth!

Gaius comes back with some pounded cabbage, which is all he has handy.

What's this? says Gaius. Still stuck together? How can that be?

Stuck at the points of contact, says Sweezus.

It's true. The points of the teeth are still bonded,. But now there are diamond-shaped gaps.

Straw, says Gaius. I'll fetch a straw.

For sucking up cabbage? says Sweezus. Do you reckon?

I'll pound it up further, says Gaius. With oil. Lots of oil. I'll make it quite runny.

Hurry up then, says Sweezus. He doesn't look happy.

Gaius pounds the cabbage with the oil rapidly.

I feel stronger already, says Gaius.

Which admittedly isn't the object.

Eventually the mixture is ready. Farky sucks it up through the straw.

Swuurp-swuurp-swuuurp!

It tastes surprisingly minty.

Haaah! says Farky.

Hurrah! At last he has uttered a vowel!

Does this mean......?

Yes! his mouth is now opening and shutting.

How'd that happen? says Sweezus. What was in it?

Oxymel, coriander, rue, mint and silphium root, says Gaius. I take it every morning. It's good for hypochondria.

That's amazing, says Sweezus, patting Farky and ruffling his ears.

Don't do that, says Farky. As much as I love you.

Freak-me-out! says Sweezus. Farky! You're talking. Say something else.

It's not actually me, says Farky. It's the Teeth talking.

Yes it is, say the Omniscient Teeth. We are talking. And now we can talk freely we have something important to say.

Fascinating, says Gaius. What is it?

Yeah what is it? says Sweezus.

Everything happens for a reason, say the Teeth.

I read that on Facebook! says Sweezus. But yeah, it's heaps true.

It's not Facebook, say the Teeth, it is the goal which all austerities aim at. When one gains true knowledge, there is no split between knower and known.

I get it, says Sweezus.

No you don't, say the Teeth. All these events have conspired because Farky was unable to speak to you. Now he can.

Cool, says Sweezus. Good boy, Farky.

Farky jumps up, licks his face. His breath smells of cabbage.