Dood Means Dood In This Country

Belle and Terence are on their way to meet Arne at the Centraal Museum.

Is he your boyfriend? asks Terence.

Just a friend, says Belle. And DON'T say anything embarrassing.

Don't YOU, says Terence.

.....

Back at Corny's, Vello is on the phone to the Tour de France Organisers.

VELLO! he says. Of Team Philosophe. I'm the CAPTAIN! And I'm telling you, I'm alive!

It seems that the person on the other end is an idiot.

You are an IDIOT! cries Vello.

Vello has turned a deep shade of rode kool (red cabbage).

Calm down, old chap, says David. Let me talk to them.

David Hume, says David, reasonably. Of Team Philosophe. There's been a misunderstanding. Vello is very much alive. No need at all for Team Philosophe to be disqualified.

There you have it. We can all agree that sounds perfectly reasonable.

But not the person on the other end, who persists in being an IDIOT!

What? says David. Our fault? Let me speak to your superior. What? Did you say have a nice day?

See! screeches Vello. Idiots! We shall have to go there in person.

Yes, agrees David, but we should wait for Gaius. He'll be turning up soon.

Indeed. Gaius is turning up right at this moment. Here he is coming up the path. Wrong bicycle, looking dejected.

He knocks on Corny's front door.

Ja? says Corny. You must be Gaius. Hallo en welcom!

Gaius! says David. You have arrived in the middle of a muddle.

You're telling me, says Gaius. How to explain it! The packer had specific instructions.

What? says Vello. Oh hello Gaius. Do I look dead to you?

Not at all Vello, says Gaius. You look positively choleric.

Wonderful! says Vello. Choleric!

He has been declared dood, says Corny. It is unfortunate, but dood means dood in this country.

Gaius ploughs on, trying to explain his dilemma.

Yes, says Gaius. The young men in my team, Team Condor, are dudes. Young and reckless. That is the problem. This bicycle is only good for touring.

What? says Vello. Touring? Do you understand the gravity of our situation? I have been disqualified, due to being DEFUNCT!

At last Gaius gets it.

Oh! Ha ha ha! laughs Gaius. How very comical. That will be Arthur's doing.

How can it be Arthur's doing? asks David.

Arthur obtained special bereavement flight rates for our team, says Gaius. I imagine he nominated you as the deceased. That is amusing.

Arthur nominated me? says Vello. But I hardly.....

He has no father, says David.

True, says Gaius. Poor Arthur.

Everyone is silent, feeling great empathy for Arthur.

All their troubles seem trivial, by comparison.