The Spherical Parrot

How do you do that? asks Arthur. Turn into a stone.

Divine consciousness, says Farky-Om-Farky. I am one with my teeth.

So how do you turn back again? asks Arthur.

The teeth are one with me too, says Farky-Om-Farky. We're all one with everything. Even the blackberry prickles, even the sound of the water.....even the ....

But here he runs out of examples.

Yes I know that, says Arthur, but that doesn't explain how you do it.

I go into my head and come out the other, says Farky-Om-Farky.

Arthur likes a good mystery.

And no doubt he could think of more questions.

But it is lunch time.

He gets on his bike and heads to the Burger Foundry on Magill Road, for a burger.

Farky-Om-Farky runs behind him, his head full of things he might say.

........

Sweezus is at home writing lists.

It's a responsibility, being the captain.

Lists of clothing required for the Tour: Jerseys, bib shorts, caps, socks, mitts, rain jackets.

Lists of expenses: Airfares, train fares, accommodation, food.

What a head fuck. At least Pablo's over there already......

He can hear Play School finishing.

Terence comes in.

Have we got a balloon? asks Terence. I want to make a parrot.

........

Sweezus and Terence are eating jam sandwiches when Gaius comes over.

Is Arthur here? asks Gaius.

No, he's out testing Farky, says Sweezus. What's up?

Nothing, says Gaius. Nothing Arthur can't deal with.

Yeah, right, says Sweezus. What is it?

Rabies vaccinations says Gaius. Quarantine. But as I say... Arthur will....only I wondered, how he might do it. I rather got the impression that he thought Farky was a liability.......

He trails off.

So what is it? says Sweezus, who hasn't gathered the import.

Gaius is looking at the balloon, which is half covered in scraps of white paper, stuck on with craft glue.

That's my parrot, says Terence.

Pig, you mean, says Gaius.

PARROT! says Terence.

A parrot isn't spherical, says Gaius.

This one IS, says Terence. And it's not finished, you idiot.

Terence! says Sweezus. It's a fair criticism.

Terence looks at his parrot.

His little mouth crumples.

........

Now something good happens, which cheers everyone up within minutes.

Arthur comes in, followed by Farky-Om-Farky.

Hi, says Arthur. You're not going to believe this.

I am, says Gaius.

Try me, says Sweezus.

Show them your trick, Farky, says Arthur.

Okay, but it's not really a trick, says Farky-Om-Farky.

He lies down and becomes instantly rigid.

Stone rigid.

Then presto! Becomes mobile again.

Gaius is elated. He sees at once how this will save money on quarantine and rabies injections.

Sweezus will too, when he twigs it.

Terence, picks up his balloon, which is now wrinkly and flaccid.

Nice parrot, says Farky-Om-Farky.

Hah! Vindicated.