If They Fail To Ejaculate You'll Be Ready

The hotel rooms are satisfactory, says Océane.

Pablo nods in agreement.

(dark waters in which phosphorescent jellyfish glide)

And I have upgraded one of our rooms to a double, says Océane.

Pablo shrugs.

(but for me my love no more submerged submarine sweetness)

Gaius will share it with Carl, says Océane. Now, Dries, you, Arthur and Pablo can push off any time.

Not yet, says Gaius. First I need to discuss something with Arthur.

What? asks Arthur.

It's private, says Gaius.

They move to a leafy corner of Place St Pierre.

What? says Arthur.

What do you think of Carl's Laplander outfit? asks Gaius.

I liked the magical drum, says Arthur. I was disappointed he gave me the amulet.

Irrelevant, says Gaius. I meant, what is your impression?

My impression is that he's a clown, says Arthur.

Good, says Gaius. Then I won't bother to dress in a toga.

Good decision, says Arthur. Maintain your dignity.

Thank you, Arthur, says Gaius. Now, when you get hold of those Bristlebirds, the first thing to do is to make sure they have lost all capacity for language.

How will I know? asks Arthur.

Ah, says Gaius. Good lad. Perspicacious as usual.  I suggest you approach them unawares, and surprise them with a noise. If they fail to ejaculate, you'll know that you're ready to start...

....teaching them to say the Twenty Names, says Arthur.

What? Oh, that too, if you can be bothered. But I refer to new bird alarm calls. Of course, first you must learn them yourself.

Fine, says Arthur.

(although he has no intention of learning new bird alarm calls)

Excellent, says Gaius. Oh, and......I wonder if Dries would be so kind as to take my bicycle back to Adelaide. Tell him he's welcome to use it of course. Just remember it's peculiarity.

Won't you need it in Paris? asks Arthur.

No, I believe we shall be taking taxis, says Gaius.

Is that a good look? asks Arthur. For a Climate Conference?

Why on earth wouldn't it be? says Gaius.

They go back to the others.

Océane is licking butter sauce from her lips, watched by Pablo.

We've got an extra bicycle to take home, says Arthur. Dries, you can ride it.

Cool, says Dries.

It has a peculiarity, says Arthur.

What peculiarity? asks Dries, thinking of gear or brake peculiarities or an uncomfortable projection in a particular part of the saddle.

You'll find out, says Arthur.