Not How You Talk To A Policeman

Vello, David and Gaius are cycling to the coast, to get in some last minute team practice.

A fourth rider looms up behind them.

Vello looks over his shoulder.

Victor! says Vello. Catch up!

I'd rather not, replies Victor.

Don't be shy, man, we know all about it! shouts Vello.

This is not how you talk to a policeman.

David drops back.

The thing is, says David, we were wondering if you'd like to join Team Philosophe on a temporary basis.

But I'm no philosopher, says Victor.

True, says David. But you have nearly caught up, and that has to prove something.

What? asks Victor. You surely don't think you were riding particularly fast?

Of course not, says David. Think of it this way. It would be efficient.

What about Gaius? says Victor. You know he's suspected of ....ahem.... I probably shouldn't disclose this.... making terrorist death threats?

Ha ha, laughs David. I know.

I wouldn't be laughing if I were you, says Victor. It renders you suspect.

For heaven's sake man, says David, are you going to join Team Philosophe or remain a slow-witted cretin?

You give me no choice, says Victor.

So you won't join, says David.

I will, declares Victor. Let's catch up with the others.

.....

Ssü-K'ung Shu has caught up with Arthur and Sweezus, in the bar at the Bath Hotel, Norwood.

Sikong Shu! says Arthur. How come you're here?

Belle told me where to find you, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. It is a long time.

A long time, says Arthur.

You here for the Tour? asks Sweezus.

It will do, says Ssü-K'ung Shu.

Do? says Sweezus. For what?

A reason, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. But it is not the true reason.

He looks meaningfully (he hopes) at Arthur.

Does Arthur remember how they fought in the woods with bamboo sticks?

Hard to say, really.

I am here on behalf of the Chinese government, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. At least that is what I tell myself. I don't suppose it will matter.

What? asks Arthur.

That I am not in Hong Kong, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. That is where they sent me, to cover the UCI Track Cycling World Cup. It's on this weekend.

I know, says Sweezus. Cav's riding in it.

Trust Sweezus to know something like that.

Better there than here, says Sweezus.

I prefer here, says Ssü-K'ung Shu.

I meant Cavendish, says Sweezus. Less competition the better.

Richie Porte's here, says Arthur. Remember Richie? Remember the tent on Mentougou?

Of course Ssü-K'ung Shu remembers.

He has thought of little else for two years.

.......

Belle has been left looking after Terence and baby B-B.

Terence is being a pest.

He has scootered over her sandals on several occasions, and two of her toenails are broken.

Tell you what, says Belle. Tonight there's a free concert in Victoria Square, in the TDU Village. Jessica Mauboy is singing. How would you guys like to go?

Who's Jessica Mauboy? asks baby B-B, who hasn't been around long.

The BEST singer! says Terence. And the prettiest! Woo-hoo!

Good, says Belle. You can both go with Katherine. But you can't take the scooter.

Baby B-B hopes she doesn't remember the hover board.

Because he will need his hover board to get up close to Jessica Mauboy. The Best and the Prettiest. She will have golden feathers, blue wings and tail feathers, like Mango.