The People's Choice Classic: Lesson Of The Tap

Word spreads like wildfire through the Tour Village.

Team Condor has a Daoist master, teaching them mindfulness.

Richie Porte pricks up his ears.

Daoism! A Tang dynasty philosophy! Could it be? He heads over to where Team Condor are wiping down their bicycles.

Yo! says Sweezus, Richie!

Hey! says Richie. How's things?

Yep, says Sweezus.

That's not an answer.

Arthur here? asks Richie.

Yep, says Sweezus.

Where? says Richie.

Here, wiping his b....... bugger!......he WAS here!

I'll find him, says Richie.

He wanders over to a tap, where three guys are standing.

Ssü-K'ung Shu is speaking to Arthur and Pablo, in intimate tones.

Wu wei is doing nothing, says Ssü-K'ung Shu. But not doing nothing lazily. Turn on the tap.

Right, says Pablo.

Arthur turns on the tap.

Richie moves closer.

'The way' never acts, says Ssü-K'ung shu. Like this water. Yet nothing is left undone.

Pablo spots Richie.

Hi guys, says Richie, as though he has just become mindful. All ready for the Classic?

Richie! says Ssü-K'ung Shu. Well met! Do you remember me?

Sikong Shu! says Richie. You inspired me to become a poet. I've come a long way since those days.

Would you like to join my lesson at the tap? asks Ssü-K'ung Shu, watching the water flow peacefully onto a bright patch of grass.

No he wouldn't, says Sweezus, coming up behind Richie. Sorry Rich. Team Condor only.

Woa! you guys are serious this year, says Richie. Catch up for a drink later?

Sure, later, says Sweezus.

Richie leaves, and Sweezus turns his attention to the lesson on doing nothing in front of a tap.

......

Later that evening. The People's Classic.

Ninety five thousand people have flocked to the circuit. Excitement is rampant.

Bang. One hundred and forty cyclists are off round the 1.7 km circuit.

Team Condor, except for Dries, who missed the lesson, is well in the zone.

Team Philosophe is doing splendidly, with Victor leading them out.

Vello: This is brilliant. Following a policeman.

David: Exhilarating.

Gaius: I thought he was following me.

Vello: No, he's tailing Jack Bobridge.

David: Police have their own agenda. Just go with the flow.

Victor (shouting): More legs, you slackers!

Gaius: More legs? What does he mean?

But some riders know.

1. Caleb Ewan (Orica Green EDGE) knows

2. Giacomo Nizzolo (Trek-Segafredo) knows

 and Adam Blyth (Tinkoff) knows. Even though he only comes third.