Maths On A Skateboard

Gaius returns with the shopping.

He drops his bag on the table, opens it and takes out his items.

Nose is on the floor, watching.

Oats. Cheese. Sardines. Celery. Apples. A tin of Mixed Berries.

Gaius picks up the tin, and examines the label.

He looks sceptical.

Nose's nose twitches.

Where are her blackberries?

Let's see how you like these, says Gaius. There were no fresh ones available.

He opens the tin. Sniffs the contents.

Disappointing, says Gaius. They look flaccid, and the liquid is brown.

He tips the contents of the tin into a dish and offers it to Nose.

Urr. Disgusting, thinks Nose. What is this pottage?

She kicks the dish. The contents spill out on the floor.

Drat! says Gaius. I should have strained them.

He sets about wiping the mess.

Nose can hear someone laughing.

Hee hee!

It is coming from a space in the shape of an auger, set in a pebble. Tiny and pretty.

How would you like it? says Nose.

I wouldn't, says Lavender. Or maybe I would. What is it?

Having a dish of disgusting disintegrating blobs set before you, says Nose. Dripping with brown stuff. What are they, ripped cushions?

Lavender looks at the ripped cushions.

She doesn't know if that's what they are.

Gaius is wiping around them.

They don't look like blackberries, says Gaius.

He tries one.

Hum, says Gaius, chewing thoughtfully.

He wrings out the rag.

All in all, says Gaius, not worth three dollars eighty. And what can I feed the bandicoot?

Nose thinks: He could try the apples.

You've got nothing, says Lavender. Like me.

You don't have a stomach, says Nose.

I know the future, says Lavender.

Just yours? asks Nose. That's useless.

Yours too, says Lavender. You will go on a journey.

I've been on a journey, says Nose. And I'm escaping from another journey.

That's right, says Lavender. The tunnel.

That is right! says Nose. There's no way I'm going through that tunnel. Who knows what creeps I'll meet in the Mark Oliphant Conservation Park? They might all be jerks.

They might be jerks, says Lavender. But they might be skateboarders.

Might they? says Nose.

They might be, says Lavender. Skateboarding in the tunnel. Doing three sixties.

What's three sixties? asks Nose.

I just made it up. says Lavender. It's like maths. Anyone can do it. But not on a skateboard.

Nose looks at Lavender with admiration.

Lavender is flattered. This is like being her cousin. This is like being Baby Pierre.

Woohoo! He would go outside next.

Just go. Not asking anyone's permission.

Come outside, Nose, says Lavender. I know where ants are.

The best part is, Nose knows how to open the door.