To Think Someone Designed This

My turn, says Lavender.

For what? asks Kobo.

For telling the story, says Lavender. I'll only say nice things.

That will be lovely, says Kobo. A change from Ageless's dark rantings.

She won't know what happens, says Ageless.

I will, says Lavender. I know the future.

Asleep, are you? snaps Ageless. Sleeping in Butterfly's bedroom with the pandas and Barbies?

YES! cries Lavender. Sleeping with the Barbies. And guess what? Butterfly is getting a new one.

Not yet, says Kobo. It's not quite her birthday.

But I know which Barbie, says Lavender. Walk and Poo Barbie.

Good Heavens! says Kobo. Is there such a Barbie? Does she suffer from IB Syndrome?

It's her PUPPY, says Lavender. It does poos. And Barbie has to pick them up with a scooper.

What does she do with them? asks Kobo.

She puts them back into the puppy, says Kobo. Then the puppy goes walking ... and out drop the poos again.

To think that someone has sat in a office and designed this, says Kobo.

It's funny. says Lavender.

Poos are not in themselves funny, says Kobo. Let's move on, dear. Tell us what you did the next day.

I woke up, says Lavender. Butterfly was still sleeping  I went downstairs to talk to the Poet. He knows me.

Of course, says Kobo. He knows you. What did he say?

Nothing, says Lavender. He was looking at the jigsaw. He was staring and staring. I hopped up on the table. There were lots of spaces.

I waited.

He inserted a piece.

It was right next to where I was waiting.

I thought he would see me.

No one can see you, says Ageless.

My space, where I am, says Lavender.

But you yourself are not visible, says Ageless.

You daft piece of shite, says Lavender.

Lavender! says Kobo.

He said it, says Lavender.

I was quoting the Poet, says Ageless.

That's who said it, says Lavender. It's a really hard jigsaw.

What about the rest of the day? asks Kobo. Did you all go out somewhere?

Yes, says Ageless. Did we? O yes, I remember.

You did what you did, says Lavender. And I stayed at home, with the Poet.

The Poet came with us! says Ageless. That proves you can't tell the future!

It wasn't the future, says Lavender.

It was then, says Ageless.

So now we have two versions, says Kobo. Amusing. Tell us yours, Ageless.

Ageless is not happy. A version! To convince her, he must speak with precision. And pile on the details.

Ahem, begins Ageless:

We left at nine thirty, for Leura, in the Blue Mountains. Our aim was to do something Australian, on Australia Day. A descent to a waterfall, a picnic, a climb, a coffee and flower pot scone.

How delightful, says Kobo. Go on, Ageless.

Can I come ? asks Lavender.

What about your version? says Ageless.

I can do it in the car, says Lavender. And the Poet can help me. He's coming too, for a scone.