Bird Simple

On the train back to Clermont-Ferrand.

Am I in the team now? asks Baldy.

Indeed you are, says Gaius. And with team membership, comes responsibility. You are a symbol.

I know, says Baldy.

Me too, says Terence.

You're both symbols says Splosh. That's how I painted you. But Baldy is the bird symbol. He has the black and white feathers, and one orange finger.

He hasn't got shorts, says Terence.

Do birds have shorts? asks Baldy.

No, says Gaius. What are you talking about, Terence?

I've got shorts, says Terence. Cutlass shorts with blood dripping off them. And I've got pockets.

So what? says Baldy.

You've got girl's undies, says Terence. So I've got the Babybel cheeses in my shorts pocket. You had to put them there, remember?

Baldy looks shocked.

Are these girl's undies? asks Baldy.

No dear, says Belle. It's a wispy drapery, to cover your willy.

I want shorts! says Baldy. And I'm on strike till I get them.

He's on strike, says Terence. And I've got the cheeses. So I'm the leader.

But I've got the plan, says Baldy.

I've got the plan, says Gaius. You may or may not have a sub-plan.

........

On the train from Clermont-Ferrand to Paris.

We should drop in on Sweezus, says Belle. See how he's going with Sartre.

Yes, and Arthur may have made an appearance, says Splosh.

I hope so, says Gaius. This trip is becoming expensive. And now it seems we must buy Baldy shorts in Paris.

Yes! cries Baldy. Special bird shorts!

We'll go to a Monoprix, says Belle. They'll have something.

Buy plain ones, says Splosh. I'll make them look bird-ish.

Tight ones? asks Belle. Will you do feathers?

Yep, says Splosh. It'll look like he's not even wearing them.

Hey! says Baldy. I want proper ones like Terence.

No. You're the Bird Simple, says Terence.

Symbol, says Splosh.

The matter remains unresolved.

Gaius browses through his notes on the Eurasian oystercatcher, or Haematopus ostralegus.

Very similar to the Australian pied oystercatcher, or Haemotopus longirostris, and its sooty counterpart, Haemotopus fuliginosus.

Hmm. And you can't tell them anything.