End To Worldwide Flatulence

Seaweed? says Louisa.

She has finished her bun.

She hands one to Sweezus.

Yeah, growing on ropes, says Sweezus. He reckons it's a cinch to get hold of.

You need to ask more questions, says Louisa. Like is it the right sort of seaweed? And who owns the ropes?

Probably just old ropes, says Sweezus, pulling the icing from the top of his bun.

He eats it.

You eat the icing first? says Arthur.

Yeah, says Sweezus. Then I eat the bun.

He eats the bun.

Uh. No butter.

No butter, says Arthur. Regretting it now?

A bit, says Sweezus. Anyway, what do you reckon?

Keep him talking, says Arthur. He won't send his boys in if we're in negotiation.

Cool, says Sweezus. Why don't you head down to the water and ask him some questions.

Sure, says Arthur. He gets up and goes.

Guess what I heard? says Louisa.

What? asks Sweezus.

The Tour Down Under's been cancelled, says Louisa.

Bummer, says Sweezus.

He licks his sticky fingers while he thinks what that means.

Arthur stands in the shallows. Great White Teacher beckons him to come in deeper.

How's the toe? asks Great White Teacher.

Blue, says Arthur. Not that you'd know.

Quite the opposite, says Great White Teacher. Everything's blue out here. 

This is not the answer Arthur expected.

About the sushi-making venture, says Arthur. We're interested, but we have a few questions.

Go ahead, says Great White Teacher. Is it about the seaweed? Don't worry, I've done my research.

Who owns the ropes? asks Arthur.

Technically, an American company, CH4 Global, says Great White Teacher. But CH4 SA is in charge of it here.

And you're an investor? asks Arthur.

Hey hey! laughs Great White Teacher. Who owns the sea?

I get you, says Arthur. Next question, what are they growing it for?

This might constitute a slight problem, says Great White Teacher.

Then we need to know what it is, says Arthur.

For cow fodder, says Great White Teacher. The idea is to reduce burping and flatulence world wide.

Okay, says Arthur. Thanks for your honesty. I'll consult with my colleague. I assume we won't be harassed in the meantime?

Of course not, says Great White Teacher.

He swims off, impressed with Arthur's negotiating skills, and confident they will reach an agreement.