French Crumbs

Captain du Couedic gathers up the Ears and drops them into the water.

They float there.

Now for YOU, says Captain du Couedic, to Sweezus. 

I'm good, says Sweezus.

We'll soon see, says Captain du Couedic. Stick this under your arm and keep it there for sixty seconds.

I prefer contactless, says Sweezus.

What does that mean? asks Captain du Couedic. 

Your modern thermometers, says Baudin. You point them at the person's head like a gun.

Is that so? says Captain du Couedic. 

Boom boom boom**!!! dadadadadadadada da da daaa!!! **.

The 1812 Overture is reaching a crescendo.

Terrible music! says Captain du Couedic, switching it off.

One of the Ears begs to differ.

We LOVE it!

It is easy to see you're not French, says Captain du Couedic. Do you realise how insulting this tune is to Napoleon?

It's just music, says the Ear.

Ho! says Captain du Couedic.

Music can be political, says Captain Baudin, poking an anchovy.

Too right, says Sweezus. What about, you know, that band? 

Midnight Oil? says Arthur. 

That's them, says Sweezus. Beds Are Burning. 

Never heard of them, says Captain du Couedic.

I should point out that your Ears are swelling, says Victor. 

Pardon? says Captain du Couedic. Oui, c'est ça! 

He lifts his Ears from the water and places them on a plate of French crumbs.