Ask The Echinoid

Maybe it was light brown, says Baby Pierre.

Lucky you've got a rubber, says the tinker.

I haven't written what kind of brown yet, says Baby Pierre. I only wrote brown.

It's good to decide what you're going to write before you write it, says Rosa.

I'm deciding right now, says Baby Pierre.

He decides.

Then starts to write (very small): 

It was light brown and Ouvert said it might be a petrified poo, but I said petrified poos aren't light brown and he believed me, then I asked him if he had a geology hammer and he said he did have one somewhere, but what did I want to use it for and I said to crack the rock open.

Wow! says Rosa. This is getting exciting. 

Do you think so? asks the tinker.

Yes, if they find something cool inside the sandstone, says Rosa.

Like what? asks the tinker.

It's up to Baby Pierre, says Rosa. He's writing the story.

What are they going to find in it? asks the tinker.

I'm still thinking, says Baby Pierre. It might be a fossil.

Yes! says Rosa. What about an echinoid! We learned about them in school.

Baby Pierre likes the word echinoid, but isn't sure he can spell it. What if he gets it wrong?

But no. He's a free thinker.

He writes (very small):

Ouvert got out his geology hammer and smashed the rock open to reveal a small eckynoid.

That's not how you spell it, says Rosa. It's e-c-h-i. Use the rubber.

No, says Baby Pierre. I've got this. 

He writes some more words (very small): 

I'd never heard of an echynoid, so I asked Ouvert to spell it, and he spelled it, but his spelling is bad. I asked him if he was sure and he said if you don't believe me ask the echynoid, and I thought he was joking but I asked it anyway and it said ECHI! I was really surprised.

Isnt it a fossil? asks the tinker. 

Yes, says Rosa. A sea urchin fossil.

How could a fossil say ECHI? asks the tinker.

This is my story, says Baby Pierre. If I say it said ECHI, it said ECHI.

What did it sound like? asks the tinker.

It's a trick question.

A Pebble With Great Eyesight

Rosa takes ages to find him a rubber, so Baby Pierre keeps on writing (very small):

I knew you were slow-witted, I said to Ouvert, it's meteorites you should be looking for, and he said sorry, he meant meteorites.

That's good says the tinker, reading what Baby Pierre has written. Now you don't need a rubber.

Why not? asks Baby Pierre.

What were you going to rub out? asks the tinker.

Meteor, says Baby Pierre.

But if you do that, you don't need the new sentence, says the tinker.

Baby Pierre looks back at his previous sentence.

The one where Ouvert says he is looking for meteors.

If he changers meteors to meteorites, it's true, he doesn't need the new sentence. 

But he likes the new sentence. It makes Ouvert look bad.

Rosa opens the lid of the see-through container, and drops in a rubber.

Here's the rubber, says Rosa. Don't lose it. 

How would I lose it? asks Baby Pierre. I'm in a container.

He doesn't need it, says the tinker. He's written a new sentence.

Let me see, says Rosa.

She reads it.

That's clever, says Rosa. But it does make your cousin look bad.

Baby Pierre doesn't care, says the tinker. But maybe he should keep the rubber.

Yes, keep it for now, says Rosa. You might spell something wrong.

Prrrrt! says Baby Pierre. 

What happens next? asks Rosa. Does Ouvert find a meteorite?

No, says Baby Pierre. He doesn't. But maybe I do.

That would annoy Ouvert, says Rosa. Maybe you should both find lots of great rocks and give them to a museum.

Baby Pierre is inspired. He starts writing again (very small):

I said I would help him because I have great eyesight and he doesn't. As soon as I started looking I found one, it was shiny and black.

Was it bigger than you? asks Rosa. That might be a problem.

Ha ha, laughs the tinker.

Stop laughing, says Baby Pierre. 

He writes (very small):

It was small but very heavy, so I let Ouvert carry it in his rock sample bag, while I rode on ahead scouting for samples. I soon found another one, which was brown.

Was it light brown? asks Rosa. It might have been limestone, the Nullarbor used to be a seabed.

No, says Baby Pierre. It was dark brown like chocolate.

A meteorite then, says Rosa.

Or a petrified poo, says the tinker.

Rubbing Out Meteors

Rosa lifts the lid of the see-through container.

How's the story going? asks Rosa.

Good, says Baby Pierre. 

Is it finished? asks Rosa.

No way, says Baby Pierre. I'm up to the part where my cousin Ouvert tells his story.

But he's stuck, says the Kroombit tinker.

Why don't you help him? asks Rosa.

I don't know Ouvert, says the tinker.

It it a true story? asks Rosa.

No, says the tinker. None of it happened.

It's still hard, says Baby Pierre. I have to explain why my cousin would be riding a bike across the Nullabor. 

Ouvert should do that, says the tinker.

Same thing, says Baby Pierre.

I can think of a reason, says Rosa.

What is it? asks Baby Pierre.

He's looking for rock specimans, says Rosa. Because he's a rock expert.

He isn't a rock expert, says Baby Pierre. 

I thought you were making it up? says Rosa.

Yes, says the tinker. The imaginary Ouvert could be an expert in rocks.

Okay, says Baby Pierre. I'll try it.

He writes (very small):

You probably didn't know I'm an expert in rocks, says my cousin Ouvert, and I say no I didn't, I always thought you were slow-witted. That's where you're wrong, says Ouvert, I'm looking for meteors. Have you found any? I ask but he admits that he hasn't.

Rosa has pretty good eyesight. She reads what Baby Pierre has written.

He's probably looking for meteorites, not meteors, says Rosa.

How would you know? asks Baby Pierre.

Is he looking up at the sky or down at the ground? asks Rosa. Meteors are like fireballs and meteorites are like rocks, and he's a rock expert so he'll be looking for meteorites.

Okay, says Baby Pierre. Do you have a rubber?

Pebble Across The Nullarbor

Baby Pierre starts to write (very small):

Pebble Across The Nullarbor.

Why am I doing this I think to myself as I pedal along the hard road and I'm only half way when who should I see but another pebble?

He stops writing.

Why did you stop writing? asks the Kroombit tinker.

I'm stuck, says Baby Pierre. I'm at the part where I meet another pebble.

That was quick, says the tinker.

It was your idea to start in the middle, says Baby Pierre.

Oh yes, says the tinker. Is the other pebble going the same way as you?

I haven't decided. What do you think? asks Baby Pierre.

The same way, says the tinker. Then you can talk as you go. Otherwise you'd have to stop or go backwards.

Good thinking, says Baby Pierre.

He writes:

The other pebble is going the same way and I catch up quickly because I'm a fast rider and he isn't.

So it's a boy pebble, says the tinker.

Yes, says Baby Pierre. It's my cousin.

What a coincidence, says the tinker. Why choose your cousin?

Why not? asks Baby Pierre. At least I know him.

What's his name? asks the tinker.

Ouvert, says Baby Pierre.

And why is he riding a bicycle across the Nullarbor? asks the tinker.

I'm about to ask him, says Baby Pierre.

He writes a bit more:

Ouvert! I cried, what are you doing out here in the Nullarbor? I could ask the same of you, replies my cousin, let's ride together and tell each other our stories.

Oh that's good, says the tinker. Now you'll be telling two stories. 

Two stories! Baby Pierre is surprised it's so easy.

He continues writing:

I tell my cousin how I came to be here. That I was in the Tour de France and the Vuelta, and I won all the time trials.

I won some of them, says the tinker.

This is my story, says Baby Pierre.

Aren't I in it? says the tinker.

No, says Baby Pierre. 

So how did you end up in Perth? asks the tinker.

Ben O'Connor invited me, says Baby Pierre.

That's a good story, says the tinker. And what about your cousin?

Let me think, says Baby Pierre. 

Why would dumb old Ouvert be riding a bike across the Nullarbor?

Knowing him, he was probably lost.

He Always Writes Small

Baby Pierre has to admit that the pencil did not put his eye out.

The see-through lid opens again.

Here's some paper, says Rosa. 

Thank you, says the Kroombit tinker. 

What do you want it for? asks Rosa.

Baby Pierre wants it, says the tinker.

Is that the name of the pebble? asks Rosa.

Yes, says Baby Pierre. And before you get any ideas, I'm not a baby.

I know rocks are old, says Rosa. What are you going to do with the paper?

It was Kroomy's idea, says Baby Pierre.

To be fair, says the tinker. Because I was given dead flies.

Are they your dinner? asks Rosa.

Yes, says the tinker. And Baby Pierre wanted something, but he doesn't eat dinner.

Of course not, says Rosa. Is he going to draw pictures?

There's nothing to draw, says Baby Pierre. 

I could take you out of the container, says Rosa.

That's unfair to me, says the tinker.

Don't worry, says Baby Pierre. I'm not drawing pictures. I'm going to write something.

Like a story? asks Rosa.

Yes, like a story, says Baby Pierre. It'll be the story of me riding my bicycle from Perth to Adelaide across the Nullarbor, which is what I'm supposed to be doing.

You're GLAD you're not doing it, says the tinker.

If I was, why would I want to write the story? says Baby Pierre.

He must have wanted to, says Rosa. But it's a really long way.

That's the point of the story, says Baby Pierre.

Do you want an extra piece of paper? asks Rosa.

No, I always write small, says Baby Pierre. Now close the lid and let me get started.

Okay, says Rosa. Can I read it when it's finished?

Sure, says Baby Pierre.

Rosa shuts the lid of the see-through container.

Right! says Baby Pierre. Now I just have to think how to start it.

Sometimes it's good to start in the middle, says the tinker.

The middle of the Nullarbor? says Baby Pierre. How would that work?

You're riding along, and you meet another pebble, says the tinker. And you tell the other pebble your story. And the other pebble tells you his. And so on. 

Baby Pierre is silent, thinking.

He had planned to do the ride on his own. But what if he met another pebble....?

Scary Feet

The plane is ready for boarding.

A flight attendant comes to take the see-through container.

Here it is, says the inspection officer. 

Thanks, says the flight attendant. What do they eat?

All taken care of, says the inspection officer. The frog has a supply of dead flies. The other one's just a pebble.

Weird combination, says the flight attendant. 

I know, says the inspection officer. We get all sorts. By the way there's a little girl who'd love to take care of the frog. Her name's Rosa.

I'll see what I can do, says the flight attendant.

She takes the see-through container and heads down the ramp to the plane.

Passenger boarding commences.

At last every passenger is on.

The flight attendant walks down the aisle looking for Rosa.

There she is, next to her parents.

Hello, says the flight attendant. Are you the girl who offered to look after the frog?

Yes, says Rosa.

And is it okay with your parents? asks the flight attendant.

Fine, says Rosa's dad. Rosa likes frogs.

As long as it doesn't get loose, says Rosa's mother.

Yes! 

Rosa now has the see-through container on her lap. 

Better place it under the seat in front of you while we take off, says her dad.

No way! says Rosa. It's dark under there.

You must, says her mother.

Okay, says Rosa. I'll just tell them not to be scared.

She opens the lid a little.

I'm putting you under the seat for a while, says Rosa. It'll be dark and you might see scary feet.

Can we have a pencil? asks Baby Pierre.

And paper, adds the tinker.

Okay, says Rosa. But not yet.

She puts the see-through container on the floor and pushes it under the seat in front of her.

This sucks, says Baby Pierre. 

No it doesn't, says the tinker. She's done the right thing.

She could at least have given me a pencil, says Baby Pierre.

Too dangerous, says the tinker. In the dark you might put my eye out.

What about MY eye? says Baby Pierre.

I didn't think your eye could come out, says the tinker.

I bet it could, says Baby Pierre. Why does everyone think I'm just a pebble.

You are a pebble, says the tinker. 

Not just a pebble, says Baby Pierre.

I used to admire you, says the tinker. But you grumble too much.

Because I keep getting thwarted says Baby Pierre.

Things will look up, says the tinker.

And they do.

First of all the seat belt light goes off, which means you can do things.

Rosa pulls the see-through container out and lifts it back onto her lap.

She opens the lid slightly, and pokes in a pencil.

Baby Pierre looks up just as the pencil comes down, on his eye.

But he is just a pebble, and the pencil lands harmlessly.

See what I mean? says the tinker.

You Get What You Ask For

You could have ordered a better container, says Baby Pierre.

I didn't order it, says the Kroombit tinker. They put me in it.

Anyone can see in, says Baby Pierre.

Look on the bright side, says the Kroombit tinker. 

Which is? says Baby Pierre.

We can see out, says the tinker.

Airports all look the same, says Baby Pierre. Walls, floor and windows. People with wheelie bags and back packs. Cafes. Where are we going?

I don't know, says the tinker. We're supposed to be on the next flight to Adelaide.

This doesn't look right, says Baby Pierre.

They are taken into a small room and placed on a shelf.

The Trafficked Animals officer calls a colleague.

I'm leaving them in the inspection room, says the Trafficked Animals officer. 

The Trafficked Animals officer leaves the inspection room.

Another person comes in, and picks up the see-through container.

Frog, pebble, tiny bicycle, says the inpection officer. This all seems in order.

She picks up a thick marking pen.

She writes something on the lid of the see-through container.

SUDNUCES P G

Look at that! says Baby Pierre. They're sending us to the wrong person.

We should let them know! says the tinker.

She whacks the container.

Whack whack!

The inspection officer lifts the lid.

Everything all right in there?

No! says the tinker. Who's SUDNUCES P G?

Why are you asking? asks the inspection officer.

Because that's who you're sending us to, says the tinker. And we don't know them.

The inspection officer lifts the tinker out of the container and shows her the lid from the outside.

Oh, says the tinker. I see. But while I'm out here, is there any chance of some dinner?

Dinner is provided, says the inspection officer, placing a packet of dried flies in the container, before dropping the tinker back in.

Thank you! says the tinker.

What did you learn? asks Baby Pierre.

It was Gaius's name backwards, says the tinker.

Ha ha, laughs Baby Pierre. The inspection officer must've thought you were stupid.

She was nice, says the tinker, and she gave me these flies.

What did I get? asks Baby Pierre. 

I didn't know you wanted anything, says the tinker.

I like things to be fair, says Baby Piere.

You can eat half the flies, says the tinker.

Pebbles don't eat flies, says Baby Pierre.

They don't eat anything, says the tinker. But you could have asked for a pencil and paper.

YOU could have, says Baby Pierre.

There'll be lots of chances, says the tinker.

And she may be right.

The inspection officer takes them to the departure lounge to wait for the flight to Adelaide.

She sits down.

A young girl comes up and stares at the see-through container.

You've got a frog, says the girl. I like frogs.

This one's going to Adelaide, says the inspection officer.

You too? says the girl.

Not me, just the frog and the pebble, and its tiny bicycle, says the inspection officer.

They'll be scared, says the girl.

If you like, I'll ask the flight attendant to let you look after them, says the inspection officer.

Yes! says the girl.

How good is this! The staff at Changi certainly know what they're doing. The tinker and Baby Pierre will be taken care of all the way to Adelaide, by a girl who likes frogs. And probably pebbles.

What are the odds that she also has a pencil, and paper?

Up Yours Kroomy

Ben O'Connor leaves the boarding queue and goes up to the desk.

What's happening? asks Ben O'Connor.

Are you travelling with a pebble in a box? asks the desk attendant.

My lucky pebble, says Ben O'Connor.

There's been an alert put out on it, says the desk attendant.

I thought we'd been cleared, says Ben O'Connor.

You have, says the desk attendant. Leave the box here and you'll be free to board.

Ben O'Connor opens the box containing Baby Pierre and his tiny bicycle.

Looks like I have to leave you behind, says Ben O'Connor. You okay with that?

I'm my own pebble, says Baby Pierre. 

Good on you, says Ben O'Connor. You were a great lucky pebble. Imagine if I'd had you in the Vuelta. I might've beat Roglic.

No you wouldn't says Baby Pierre.

Hurry up, sir, says the desk attendant to Ben O'Connor.

Ben O'Connor turns and runs down the ramp to board his flight to Perth, wondering why Baby Pierre had said No you wouldn't.

Was it because .....

But we are now out of range of the thoughts of Ben O'Connor.

Now what? asks Baby Pierre. Why am I stuck here? I haven't done anything.

Relax, sir, says the desk attendant. Someone will come for you shortly.

Baby Pierre relaxes. He looks at his bike. He turns it upside down and spins the green o-wheels.

Whirr.

Where's the pebble I asked you to detain? asks the Trafficked Animals officer.

Right here, says the desk attendant. 

Great, says the Trafficked Animals officer. The frog I'm sending to Adelaide requested him as a companion.

Baby Pierre is listening. So the Kroombit tinker is responsible for this stuff-up. He was supposed to be going to Perth. He was going to cycle all the way back to Adelaide across the Nullarbor. He could have done it! But it's not going to happen.

Do you want me to get rid of the box? asks the desk attendant.

Yes, thanks, says the Trafficked Animals officer. The pebble's going in this container, with the frog.

And his bike? asks the desk attendant.

What bike? Hey, that's a cute miniature! Must've been Ben O'Connor's.

It's MINE! says Baby Pierre.

Ai! says the Trafficked Animals officer.

Yes, he talks, says the desk attendant. And he claims it's his bike. You'd better take it.

At last a resolution of sorts.

Baby Pierre and his bicycle are lifted out of the box and placed in the container where the Kroombit tinker is waiting.

Hello, lucky pebble, says the Kroombit tinker.

Up yours, Kroomy! snaps Baby Pierre.

Box Ticking

The Trafficked Animals officer calls security.

Where's that trafficked frog at the moment? asks the Trafficked Animals officer.

In the observation room, says the security person who answered the phone.

Keep it there, says the Trafficked Animals Officer. I'm coming right over.

Okay, says the security person.

The Kroombit tinker is in the observation room on a table.

An animal welfare officer is googling endangered frogs.

I'm a Kroombit tinker, says the tinker. Why won't you believe me?

It's not that I don't believe you, says the officer. But if you're on the list of endangered frogs, I need to tick this.

He shows the tinker the box that needs ticking.

Okay, says the tinker. Then what?

We contact the authorities in your country, says the animal welfare officer.

What a lot of bother, says the Kroombit tinker. Can't you just send me home?

At this point the Trafficked Animals officer enters the observation room.

Hold everything! says the Trafficked Animals officer.

I'm just checking the endangered frog list, says the welfare officer.

No need, says the Trafficked Animals officer. This frog has been cleared.

Just like that? asks the welfare officer.

Ever heard of Gaius Plinius Secundus? asks the Trafficked Animals officer.

Of course, says the welfare officer. The famous natural historian.

It's his frog, says the Trafficked Animals officer. So we're sending it home. 

I was on my way home, when you stopped me, says the tinker.

To the wrong destination, says the Trafficked Animals officer. You're now booked onto the next flight to Adelaide.

Hoorah! says the tinker,. 

The Trafficked Animals officer picks her up and drops her into a lidded container.

Wait! cries the tinker.

Luckily, the officer has not put the lid on.

Can Baby Pierre come with me? asks the tinker.

Isn't he a just a pebble? asks the Trafficked Animals officer. 

He's my friend, says the tinker.

I'll see what I can do, says the Trafficked Animals officer.

He checks a few schedules.

The flight to Perth hasn't left yet.

Ben O'Connor is about to board his flight to Perth, with Baby Pierre, who is unhappy with that destination.

I'll have to ride my bike all the way across the Nullarbor, grumbles Baby Pierre.

The joys of the open road, says Ben O'Connor.

It's all right for you, says Baby Pierre.

The boarding queue moves forward.....

Suddenly there is an announcement from the boarding lounge desk.

Would Mr Ben O'Connor please come to the desk immediately!

Shit! Now what? says Ben O'Connor.

So You Have A History

Trafficked Animals, says the Trafficked Animals officer. How may I help you?

Ah yes, says Gaius. I'm not sure I have the right department.

Try me, says the Trafficked Animals officer.

Have you recently come into possession of a Kroombit tinker? asks Gaius.

Not me personally, says the Trafficked Animals officer. It was intercepted in International Arrivals.

So where is it at present? asks Gaius.

Being checked by our people, says the officer. Do you wish to make a statement regarding this trafficked animal?

Yes, says Gaius. First of all she is not being trafficked. I, perhaps foolishly, took her with me to Italy for the start of the Tour de France, in which I was competing, after which....

Why would you do that? asks the officer.

I compete regularly, says Gaius. In Team Philosophe, or Team Condor, depending...

I meant, why take an endangered frog? asks the officer.

It's a long story, says Gaius.

Shorten it, says the officer.

Very well, says Gaius. My young companion Terence decided that the three pobblebonks from Kroombit Tops should join Baby Pierre, who rides in the Tour de France unofficially.

This is a bad line, says the officer. Did you mention a baby?

Baby Pierre is pebble, says Gaius. He rides alone, but Terence thought...

Is this relevant? asks the officer.

Yes, says Gaius. Or perhaps not. In short, the Kroombit tinker was enlisted as house mother for the pobblebonks, and this worked quite well until they all died.

So you have a history, says the officer.

The pobblebonks are not endangered, says Gaius. 

It would seem those three were, says the officer.

What? says Gaius. Oh, yes. Dark humour.

I was not being funny, says the officer. Do you realise there's a huge fine for trafficking endangered species?

I do, says Gaius. But this frog had no way to get home until Ben O'Connor kindly agreed to accompany her.

Ben O'Connor claims he has nothing to do with it, says the officer. We're about to let him go.

Yes, let him go, says Gaius. All you need to do is send the frog on to Adelaide. 

You expect us to do that? says the officer. 

It's the right thing to do, says Gaius. I'll see she gets home to Kroombit Tops safely. 

Who are you to tell us the right thing to do? says the officer. You lost her.

Gaius Plinius Secundus, says Gaius. Would you like to see my ID?

The Trafficked Animals officer has heard of Gaius Plinius Secundus.

And is therefore inclined to cooperate. 

Trafficked!

Arthur calls Gaius.

Arthur! says Gaius. What news?

Good news and bad news, says Arthur.

Give me the good news, says Gaius.

It's the same as the bad news, says Arthur.

How can that be? asks Gaius.

It depends how you look at it, says Arthur.

I assume this is news of the Kroombit tinker, says Gaius.

Yes, says Arthur. She's been detained at Changi airport

And this bad news is good news because...? says Gaius.

Because, says Arthur, Ben O'Connor was going to Perth.

Gaius digests this information.

Aha! says Gaius. So it's  lucky the tinker's journey has been broken. We can get her diverted to Adelaide. Or even the Gold Coast.

That's what I thought, says Arthur. You just need to call them.

But you're better at that sort of thing, says Gaius.

I don't have the gravitas, says Arthur. Or the global reputation.

Gaius can't help feeling pleased.

All right, says Gaius. I'll call Changi customs and explain why the tinker must be flown on to... shall we say Adelaide?

Then you've still got the problem of getting her back to Kroombit Tops, says Arthur. 

So you recommend the Gold Coast, says Gaius.

Someone could meet her, says Arthur. 

Such as ? says Gaius. Not you I hope. We have to....

First things first, says Arthur. Make the phone call.

Right you are, says Gaius. Thank you, Arthur.

He calls Changi.

And gets put through to Customer Service. 

Who put him through to Security.

Eventually.

How may I help you? asks the officer on duty.

I'm Gaius Plinius Secundus, says Gaius. I believe you're detaining my frog. 

What kind of frog is it? asks the officer.

An endangered Kroombit tinker, says Gaius. It is imperative that...

Endangered? says the officer. I'll have to transfer you to Trafficked Animals.

What, no! says Gaius.

But too late. Curses!

He is being transferred.

 

As A Diplomat

It seemed like a good plan.

The tinker had hopped out when the flight attendant opened the door to inform the captain and co-captain the plane was vacated. 

She had hopped down the aisle to the exit. 

Hopped out, and down the ramp to Arrivals.

Looked around for Ben O'Connor and Baby Pierre.

Where were they? Nowhere.

A large sniffer dog had approached her, and barked.

A uniformed dog handler had dropped a net over her.

And taken her to a small room where she has been waiting.

And waiting.

When will someone come?

At last a customs officer comes in and takes a photograph of the tinker.

You should have asked my permission, says the tinker.

Ai! says the customs officer. It speaks!

May I make a phone call? asks the tinker.

You're a frog, says the customs officer. You don't get a phone call. Just explain how you got here.

Starting when? asks the tinker. I was raised in captivity in Currumbin, and then...

Where is that? asks the customs officer. 

Queensland, says the tinker. Then I went to Italy, but before that I...

Who were you with on the plane? asks the customs officer.

Ben O'Connor, says the tinker. And Baby Pierre. He was in a box with me, but then...

Aha! Now we're getting somewhere, says the customs officer. Wait here.

The customs officer leaves the room, locking the door behind her.

Half an hour later she returns with Ben O'Connor, and the box.

Presumably, Baby Pierre and his tiny bicycle are in it.

Is this your frog? asks the customs officer.

No, says Ben O'Connor. I've already explained.

Then whose is it? asks the customs officer.

Can I make a phone call? asks Ben O'Connor.

Certainly, sir, says the customs officer.

Ben calls Pablo Neruda.

Pablo is in Chile, back at work as a diplomat.

Pablo, says Ben. I'm in a bit of a pickle at Changi airport. They're detaining the frog. 

Leave it to me, says Pablo. I'll call Arthur.

He calls Arthur on another phone.

Arthur, it's Pablo. About that frog.

Gaius is stewing, says Arthur. Where is it?

Detained in Changi with Ben O'Connor, says Pablo.

Where are you? asks Arthur.

Chile, says Pablo. But I've got Ben on the phone.

Put him on speaker, says Arthur.

Arthur! says Ben O'Connor. This is kind of annoying. I don't want to miss my flight home.

Where are you heading? asks Arthur.

Perth, says Ben.

Right, says Arthur. The frog needs to go to Adelaide, or better still Gladstone. So you can leave her at Changi airport. I'll fix it.

I can't just leave, says Ben O'Connor. I'm detained too.

Chill out, says Arthur. I'll get Gaius to call Changi customs.

Cool, says Ben O'Connor.

It looks as though things will turn out well for the Kroombit tinker.

Why doesn't she look all that pleased?

Ker-Bump-Ker-Bump

You'll have to get off the control panel, says the captain.

Where shall I go? asks the tinker.

There's a seat behind us, says the co-captain. Sit on that.

The tinker hops down from the control panel and onto the seat.

Should we ask her to do up her seat belt? asks the co-captain.

She's too small, says the captain. It would be ineffective.

I could go under the seat, says the tinker.

Good idea, says the captain.

The tinker hops off the seat and slips underneath it.

The turbulence is beginning.

Ker bump ker bump, luuuurch, ker bump!

Yikes! says the tinker.

All under control, says the captain. I'll let the passengers know.

He turns on his intercom.

This is your captain speaking, says the captain. We're encountering some turbulence, but there's nothing to worry about. We're almost through it, and we'll shortly be landing in Changi.

Was that true? asks the tinker.

Of course it was true, says the captain.

Which part of the message concerns you? asks the co-captain.

Where's Changi? asks the tinker.

Singapore, says the co-captain. Which is where you'll get off.

But I'm going to Australia! says the tinker. You do know that?

That will be up to the airport authorities, says the captain. Be quiet please. We're preparing to land.

The tinker is quiet.

She envisions being led off to a special office in Changi airport. And left there.

What if they don't know she's endangered?

She might be allowed one phone call.

Then she'll call Gaius. He'll explain everything.

And it will be all right.

Bump. Whirrrrrr! The plane lands in Changi.

A long time passes.

The passengers are then allowed off.

Another long time passes.

A flight attendant pokes her head in.

Everyone's off! says the flight attendant.

The co-captain and captain pick up their jackets and hats.

And their flight bags. 

The co-captain looks under the seat for the Kroombit tinker.

Who is no longer there.

What's This Knob For?

The Kroombit tinker looks at the clouds. 

They are white gray and blue. Some in the distance are pink gold and fluffy.

Now there's a gap revealing water below them.

Blue water with wrinkles.

And is that a whale? Or an island.

Then... more white gray blue clouds.

Boring. She's seen them already.

She looks at the control panel, on which the co-captain has placed her.

What's this knob for? asks the tinker.

DON'T TOUCH IT! shouts the co-captain.

As if I'd do that, says the tinker. 

How do I know you wouldn't? says the co-captain.

Frog fingers, says the tinker.

You should have stowed her in the galley, says the captain.

I thought better of it, says the co-captain. She may have got into the food.

Don't worry, says the Kroombit tinker. I don't think much of your food.

I suppose you eat spiders, worms and insects, says the captain.

The Kroombit tinker is about to agree, but a wave of sadness comes over her.

Spiders, worms and insects, says the tinker. That brings back memories.

That's natural, asks the co-captain. But what's made you sad?

I'm remenbering the pobblebonks, says the tinker. I was their house mother. They died one by one. 

You ate your children? asks the captain, aghast.

You know little about frogs, says the tinker. Pobblebonks could not be my children. I'm a Kroombit tinker.

Sorry, says the captain. 

Spider-bonk, Insect-bonk and Worm-bonk, says the tinker. Those were their names.

Very nice, says the co-captain. What made you their house mother?

I wanted to travel, says the tinker. They were going to Florence. I took the opportunity.

Why Florence? asks the captain. 

The Tour de France began there, says the tinker. They were in it. 

And died one by one, says the co-captain. What of?

The machinations of Nicolo Machiavelli, says the tinker.

The captain and the co-captain decide she's been pulling their leg.

They turn their attention to the control panel.

Just as well, as some turbulence is imminent.

Not His Frog His Friend's Frog

Ten minutes later, the co-captain comes out to speak to Ben O'Connor.

I'm the co-captain, says the co-captain. And I'm here to take charge of your frog.

It's okay! says Ben O'Connor. I already told the flight attendant....

That the protocols had been observed, says the co-captain. Well, it turns out they haven't.

Geez, sorry, says Ben O'Connor.  She's in this box, with my lucky pebble.

We have no issue with your lucky pebble, says the co-captain, but this frog must be confined until landing.

Then what? asks Ben O'Connor.

She will be dealt with, says the co-captain. Please hand over your frog.

Ben O'Connor opens the box on the seat beside him.

The tinker has heard everything.

The moment of doom is approaching, says the tinker.

Ai! says the co-captain. I was told it could speak, but I wasn't aware it could prophesy.

She can't, says Ben O'Connor. She's just quoting the second line of my poem.

Oh, so you're a poet? asks the co-captain. 

Not really, says Ben O'Connor. It's for an elite bike riders' poetry competition.

Which one? asks the co-captain.

The Vuelta, says Ben.

You must know Pablo Neruda, says the co-captain.

Yeah, I know him, says Ben O'Connor. It's his frog. Well, not his frog, his friend's frog. Actually not his friend's frog either, but some other guy's....

I'm no one's frog, says the tinker.

That's right, says Baby Pierre. We're not anything.

Speak for yourself, lucky pebble, says the tinker.

It's temporary, says Baby Pierre.

This may also be temporary, says the co-captain. But the frog comes with me.

He puts on a thin rubber glove, and picks up the tinker.

And carries her up to the front of the Boeing. 

He opens the door of the cockpit and enters.

Great! says the captain. Now there's a frog in the cockpit. Where will you put it?

On top of the control panel, says the co-captain. Then we can keep an eye on her.

The tinker likes the position on top of the control panel.

There's a fantastic view.

The Moment Of Doom

Green pee! Yuck! says the tinker, inside the box.

With beef pastrami! says Baby Pierre. Humans like weird stuff.

He too is inside the box.

Outside the box, Ben O'Connor has finished his beef pastrami with grean pea and quinoa salad and started on his ice cream.

The flight attendant returns for his empty containers.

I'll take that too, if you like, says the flight attendant, indicating the box.

No need, says Ben O'Connor. That box contains my lucky pebble.

And a frog, says the flight attendant. 

And a  frog, says Ben O'Connor. I'm delivering it to a friend.

No problem, says the flight attendant.  I'm sure it's passed through all the protocols.

Sure has, says Ben O'Connor.

It asked what Shek O is, says the flight attendant.

Yeah, says Ben O'Connor. I wondered that too. 

Preserved mustard greens, says the flight attendant. From a packet. Very popular.

If I knew that, I might've had it, says Ben O'Connor.

There's always a next time, says the flight attendant. Tell your frog, she adds, as she's walking away.

Ben opens the box on the seat beside him.

We heard that, says the tinker. Preserved mustard greens out of a packet.

Ha! says Baby Pierre. More good luck, brought to you by yours truly.

How come? asks Ben.

You didn't eat it, says Baby Pierre.

But he did eat green pee, says the tinker.

You don't eat green pee, you drink it, says Baby Pierre. And green pee's known to be lucky.

You made that up, says the tinker.

It was a salad, says Ben O'Connor. Green pea, pumpkin and quinoa. 

I didn't make it up, says Baby Pierre.

But he did, kind of.

Let's work on the second line of your poem, says the tinker.

Okay, says Ben. How about: The moment of doom is approaching.

That's perfect, says the tinker.

Little does she know how perfect it will turn out to be.

Green Pea Thing

Are we there yet? asks the tinker.

She has asked this a few times.

They are on the long flight from Paris to Singapore.

Ben O'Connor has again been lucky. 

There is an empty seat beside him, on which he has placed the box.

Baby Pierre is relaxing in the corner of the box, in his role of lucky pebble.

The tinker has been helping Ben O'Connor with his poem.

They are tinkering with the first line.

"It was on Moncalvillo.....O hay!

I like it, says the tinker.

I know you do, says Ben O'Connor, but isn't it kind of....

What? says the tinker. 

Like a folk song, says Ben O'Connor. Maybe we should ditch the O hay.

But that's the best part, says the tinker.

She won the competition with O hay, says Baby Pierre.

What? says Ben O'Connor. She's already won it?

Oops! says Baby Pierre. Was it a secret?

I just haven't told him, says the tinker.

Best that he knows, says Baby Pierre.

I'm not finishing my poem if the competition's over, says Ben O'Connor.

But Pablo gave you an extension, says the tinker.

Pointless! says Ben O'Connor. Why should I bother?

You shouldn't, says Baby Pierre. 

I thought you were supposed to be lucky, says Ben O'Connor.

A flight attendant comes by. 

Are you having the beef pastrami with green pea and quinoa salad, or the steamed pork with Shek O preserved mustard greens, or the cheese and fusilli? asks the flight attendant.

What's Shek O? asks the tinker.

Ai, a frog! says the flight attendant. Let me deal wih it.

It's fine, says Ben O'Connor, closing the box. I'll have the beef pastrami and green pea thing.

He pulls down his tray.

The flight attendant hands him the beef pastrami and green pea thing.

Ben O'Connor starts eating. Mm. It's not bad.

Inside the box Baby Pierre and the tinker are debating.

Not about luck.

Not about the benefits of writing a poem even if the competition is finished

Not about Shek O.

But about the green pee.

Shit A Brick!

Gaius is becoming concerned about the Kroombit tinker.

Where is she now?

He phones Arthur.

Arthur, says Gaius. Where is the tinker exactly?

In the air, says Arthur. With Ben O'Connor.

Excellent, says Gaius. When will they be landing?

Don't know, says Arthur.

Pity, says Gaius. I could go and meet them.

Might not be in Adelaide, says Arthur. I forgot to ask Ben where he was going.

Jumping Jupiter! says Gaius. It could be anywhere in Australia! Where is he from?

Subiaco, says Arthur (after a short pause consulting Ben's stats.)

In Western Australia! says Gaius. That's about as far from Kroombit Tops as you can be!

At least the tinker'll be in the country, says Arthur. 

Gaius wishes he'd kept better control of the tinker. What was he thinking?

Not much he can do now but stew.

....

Meanwhile Ben O'Connor is enjoying a snack on the flight from Madrid to Paris. 

So far he's been lucky.

There is an empty seat by his side and he has placed the box on it.

The Kroombit tinker, Baby Pierre and his bike are inside.

Ben O'Connor takes the lid off.

Want a snack? asks Ben O'Connor.

What is it? asks the tinker.

Cup noodles, says Ben O'Connor. 

Maybe a noodle, says the tinker.

Ben fishes out a noodle, and lowers it into the box.

The tinker sucks up the noodle.

Ha ha! laughs Baby Pierre. It's a long noodle! Watch out you don't choke!

The tinker stops sucking up the noodle.

But cannot reply.

Ben O'Connor has not noticed the tinker is choking on the noodle.

He is thinking of his poem.

Had he even started it?

No, he hadn't. His attention had been on retaining the red jersey.

But now, he can start.

The tinker has promised to help him.

He looks at the tinker.

Shit a brick! The tinker is choking ! 

He nips the noodle in half.

The tinker stops choking.

You were lucky, says Baby Pierre. That was my influence.

What part of that was your influence? asks the tinker.

You could have died, says Baby Pierre. And I'm a lucky pebble.

Much you cared! says the tinker.

But Ben saved you, continues Baby Pierre. So I brought luck to everyone.

What's this? asks Ben.

You were lucky, says Baby Pierre. Imagine if the frog you were looking after had died.

Yeah how would I explain it, says Ben O'Connor. Thanks Baby Pierre.

He didn't do anything! says the tinker.

Luck Before Flying

It has gone really well.

The tinker has zoomed through the security check point without being spotted.

She heads for the departure lounge.

Ben O'Connor's not there yet. 

He has been called aside.

Not because Baby Pierre is in his pocket, but because of the empty box he is carrying.

Why the empty box? asks the security guard.

A friend gave it to me, says Ben O'Connor. It's empty.

It may appear to be empty, says the security guard. But we'll need to test it for hidden compartments.

I'll miss my flight, says Ben O'Connor.

If there was something in it, it would be different, says the security guard

Okay, says Ben O'Connor. I'll put something in it.

He takes Baby Pierre out of his pocket.

Baby Pierre is no fool. He knows how to look like a pebble.

It isn't that hard.

He folds his skinny legs under his body and keeps his mouth shut.

So this box is for a pebble, says the security guard. Why wasn't it inside?

It's my lucky pebble says Ben O'Connor, thinking quickly. I like to hold it in the palm of my hand before flying.

I get that, says the security guard. Okay, go through. And have have a good day.

Ben O'Connor proceeds to the departure lounge, where the tinker is waiting.

What took you so long? asks the tinker.

Ask Baby Pierre , says Ben O'Connor. I'm going to the toilet.

He puts the empty box under the seat, with Baby Pierre in it.

He goes off to the toilet.

The tinker hops into the box.

What happened? asks the tinker.

Where's my bicycle? asks Baby Pierre.

Leaning against the box, says the tinker. Don't worry. Tell me what happened.

I had to pretend to be his lucky pebble, says Baby Pierre.

How embarrassing, says the tinker.

I didn't care, says Baby Pierre. And I nailed it.

Being a lucky pebble? asks the tinker. 

Yes, says Baby Pierre. You'll see. Ben O'Connor will be lucky all the way back to Adelaide.

Here he comes now. Back from the toilet.

Just as boarding is about to commence.

Lucky. 

We'll see.

No Flies On A Boeing

Baby Pierre skids to a halt in front of Pablo, the tinker, and Ben O'Connor.

Changed my mind, says Baby Pierre. I'm coming.

I'm not taking him, says Ben O'Connor.

I'll take him, says the Kroombit tinker.

If I'm taking you and you're taking him, that's like I'm taking both of you, says Ben O'Connor.

Chill, says Baby Pierre. I'm independent.

He is, says the tinker. And he can go in my box. 

No way, says Baby Pierre. I can go in Ben's pocket.

What's independent about that? asks Ben O'Connor.

Just to get on board, says Baby Pierre. Then I'll zoom off somewhere.

We can catch flies, says the tinker.

There are no flies on a Boeing, says Ben O'Connor.

The tinker looks sad.

Have we got time to catch one? asks the tinker. 

No, says Pablo.

What do frogs eat? asks Ben O'Connor.

Good question, says Pablo. She likes flies, worms and insects.

But I once had a pancake, says the tinker.

A whole pancake? asks Ben O'Connor.

No, a part of a pancake, says the tinker.

Ben O'Connor looks at his watch.

Time to head to security, says Ben O'Connor. How do we do this?

Fear not, says Baby Pierre. I'll whizz through.

I'll whizz through too, says the tinker.

Want to whizz through with me? asks Baby Pierre.

Okay, says the tinker.

She hops onto the back of his tiny bicycle.

Erk! says Baby Pierre. You're heavy! This might be too hard.

Okay, says Ben O'Connor. How about this? Baby Pierre goes in my pocket and the tinker whizzes through on the bike.

Brilliant, says the tinker.

No way! begins Baby Pierre.

But Ben O'Connor has picked him up, and shoved him into his pocket.

The tinker has already whizzed away.

You've got this, says Pablo to Ben O'Connor. And here, have the box.

What do I need that for? asks Ben O'Connor. It's empty.

An empty box can be useful, says Pablo.

Ben thinks about the many times in his life when an empty box has been useful.

Thanks mate, says Ben O'Connor.

He takes the box from Pablo, and heads for security, with Baby Pierre in his pocket.

How Can That Be Illegal?

 Let's hope Ben O'Connor's still in Madrid, says Pablo.

Lets hope he isn't, says Baby Pierre.

I hope he is, says the tinker. And that he'll take us home.

In a box most likely, says Baby Pierre.

He wouldn't, says the tinker.

I'll see if I can get hold of him, says Pablo.

He calls the team manager of Team Decathlon AG2R La Mondiale.

Hello? says the team manager.

Is Ben O'Connor still in Madrid? asks Pablo.

On his way to the airport, says the team manager. Who wants to know?

Pablo Neruda, says Pablo. 

Neruda? He's left you a message, says the team manager. Where is it.... ah yes.... he wants an extension.

He can have an extension, says Pablo, but I don't have his number.

The team manager gives Pablo Ben's number.

He calls it.

Hello? says Ben O'Connor.

It's me, Pablo, says Pablo.

Oh yeah, says Ben O'Connor. Do I get the extension? I've got poet's block.

Certainly, says Pablo. Take as long as you wish. And in return I'd like you to do me a favour.

What's that? asks Ben O'Connor. I'm at the airport.

When's your flight? asks Pablo.

In two hours, says Ben O'Connor.

Great, says Pablo. I'll be there in fifteen minutes.

Yes, but what... begins Ben O'Connor.

But Pablo has ended the call and is calling a taxi.

...

Madrid Airport.

Ben O'Connor is having a coffee, and watching the clock.

Pablo appears, with a box.

Hey! says Ben O'Connor. What's this favour you asked for?

Pablo opens the box, to reveal the Kroombit tinker.

Hello, Ben, says the tinker. I don't have to stay in this box. It was just for the taxi.

She hops out.

Hell's bells! says Ben O'Connor. Am I supposed to take her back to Australia?

That's what I'm hoping, says Pablo.

Big ask, says Ben O'Connor. I bet it's illegal.

She's a native, says Pablo. You'll be returnimg her home. How can that be illegal?

Ben O'Connor looks sceptical, for some reason.

The tinker decides to help her own cause.

I can be very elusive, says the tinker.

Ben O'Connor thinks about what that might mean.

Elusive. She could hide easily. Also, she is tiny.

I could help you with your poem, adds the tinker.

That does it.

Ben agrees to escort the tinker home.

Thanks, says Pablo. And don't worry about Baby Pierre. He won't be coming.

I wasn't, says Ben. 

But just then.....

Zoom. Baby Pierre zooms into the airport. 

Don't Split It

Now, says Pablo, I have to send you guys home.

Send? says the tinker.

I must return to Chile, says Pablo. 

We could come with you, says the tinker.

Not me, says Baby Pierre.

It would be best if you travelled together, says Pablo.

Yes, says the tinker. 

Okay, says Baby Pierre. We'll make our own way back to Australia.

I don't think so, says Pablo. I promised Arthur. Wait. I'll see if he's still in Paris.

He calls Arthur.

Arthur's phone rings for ages.

Until...

What? asks Arthur.

Where are you? asks Pablo.

In bed, says Arthur. 

The Vuelta's over, says Pablo. 

I know, says Arthur. How'd you go?

Middling, says Pablo.

And you called to tell me, says Arthur.

No, says Pablo. I called because I'm not sure how best to send your frog home.

What frog? asks Arthur. 

The Kroombit tinker, says Pablo. She's here with Baby Pierre. Are you still in France?

No, says Arthur. I'm back in Adelaide. 

Sleeping, says Pablo.

I was, says Arthur.

Sorry, says Pablo. What shall I do?

Arthur thinks.

Send them back with one of the Aussie riders, says Arthur.

Brilliant, says Pablo. I'll ask Ben O'Connor.

How'd he go? asks Arthur.

Great, says Pablo. He came second. He wore the red jersey for thirteen days.

He'll be in a good mood then, says Arthur.

And he owes me a poem, says Pablo. 

You ran a poetry competition? asks Arthur.

As always, says Pablo. The Kroombit tinker won this time, with O Hay!

Arthur sniggers.

Put her on, says Arthur.

Hello Arthur, says the tinker. I won the poetry competition. 

Good for you, says Arthur. 

And I won half a gold coin, says the tinker.

Who won the other half? asks Arthur.

Baby Pierre, says the tinker. We haven't got it yet. Pablo hasn't figured out how to split it.

Don't split it, says Arthur. It won't be worth anything.

Oh, says the tinker.

Bring it home with you, says Arthur. I'll fix it.

Okay, says the tinker. 

You'll be flying home with Ben O'Connor, says Arthur. 

Yikes, says the tinker. What if...?

But Arthur has pressed the red button and gone back to sleep.

Me Or Me

Madrid. It's the time trials today.

Baby Pierre and the tinker both love the time trials.

Best one of you and me gets a gold coin, says the tinker.

It'll be me, says Baby Pierre.

Or me, says the tinker.

Where will we get the gold coin? asks Baby Pierre.

Madrid's a big city, says the tinker. We'll find one.

They are waiting near Pablo, who is about to go down the chute for his time trial.

I'll provide the gold coin, says Pablo.

Bang!

Pablo goes off.

That was nice of Pablo, says the tinker.

Wait, says Baby Pierre. How will we know who's the winner? No one times us.

We'll go together, says the tinker.

Not allowed, says Baby Pierre.

Who cares? says the tinker.

They zoom down the chute together, before the next rider.

They zoom through the streets of Madrid.

They pass Pablo, who doesn't notice.

Baby Pierre draws ahead.

The tinker makes an effort.

She draws level with Baby Pierre.

She won't let him beat her. There'll be no end to his boasting.

Oh hay!

And the rest of it. 

Baby Pierre really wants the gold coin.

And is not above cheating.

He sticks out a knee.

The tinker sees it and swerves.

She then draws ahead.

Baby Pierre sees his gold coin disappearing.

He makes an effort.

Hola! The tinker and Baby Pierre finish together.

Although no one sees.

Pablo arrives, half a minute later. His time is quite good. 

Which of you won? asks Pablo.

We drew, says the tinker.

You'll have to share the gold coin, says Pablo.

The tinker is happy, but Baby Pierre does not like the idea of sharing one coin.

They wait at the finish for all the other riders to complete their time trial.

They have to.

We all do.

Because the last rider is Primoz Roglic and the fastest rider so far is Stefan Kung.

Uh-oh! Stefan Kung's time is faster.

But Primoz's time is next fastest, and so....

Primoz is overall winner of the Vuelta. 

Second Reckoned

The last day of mountain climbing before the time trials tomorrow.

The teams ride out of Villarcayo.

Primoz Roglic is in red.

And determined to stay there.

Snippets of poetry form in his head.

Be the fox where it counts....

Okay that's not too great. But nor is it great to end a line with an obvious word such as fox.

Because what rhymes with fox? 

Box, pox, sox.....

And also, sox is bad spelling.

He wonders if the poem must be in English

He should ask Pablo.

But no! 

He must concentrate on impoving his lead over Ben O'Connor.

It's not over yet.

Ben O'Connor is not even thinking of his poem. He must at least retain overall second position.

Here he comes now, in the blue-green jersey of Decathlon AG2R La Mondiale.

He passes Pablo.

Go for second, shouts Pablo. Or something like that.

Ben O'Connor gives Pablo the finger, and catches up with his team mate, Bruno.

What did Pablo say? asks Bruno.

He reckoned I should settle for second, says Ben O'Connor.

That makes quite a nice rhyme, says Bruno. Reckoned and second.

I can't think that way, says Ben O'Connor.

No of course not, says Bruno. 

They speed off into the distance.

Up and down seven categorised mountains.

Seven.

Let us cut to the end.

Here comes Eddie Dunbar.

He has passed Enric Mas and finished first on the Picon Blanco.

Good for him.

Primoz comes in third. Now he has 2 minutes and 2 seconds over Ben O'Connor.

Who nevertheless at this point is still coming second.

Which is fine.

According to what Pablo reckoned.

Too Much Too Soon

Stage nineteen, with an uphill arrival at Alto de Moncalvillo.

Primoz Roglic has a good feeling. The red fox is ready.

Baby Pierre too is ready.

He feels better. Yesterday he did too much too soon.

Too much too soon

O moon O moon.

He should write that down for the poetry competition.

It rhymes perfectly, and has the right number of syllables.

Furthermore, it captures his feelings exactly.

He is zooming back and forth through the riders and almost crashes into his teammate, the Kroombit tinker.

Watch out stupid! says the tinker.

Hey! says Baby Pierre. Don't talk to me like that. I'm your captain.

Not any more, says the tinker. I resign.

You can't, says Baby Pierre. Or we'll both be disqualified.

You're so careless, says the tinker. 

I had an accident, says Baby Pierre. 

You made it up, says the tinker.

See these scars, says Baby Pierre.

No, the tinker can't see them.

How's your poem going? asks Baby Pierre, changing the subject.

I'm re-doing it, says the tinker. How about yours?

Listen to this, says Baby Pierre: 

O moon O moon

I did too much too soon.

Too many syllables, says the tinker. And it's crazy. 

I can fix it, says Baby Pierre. 

Leave out the moon, says the tinker.

If I leave out the moon I've got nothing, says Baby Pierre.

Too bad, says the tinker. You should have thought of that before you put the moon in it.

She rides away, to see if she can find Pablo.

The race is half over already.

Pablo is riding alongside Ben O'Connor.

Ben O'Connor is grumbling that his legs feel a bit average today.

Chin up, says Pablo.

Ben O'Connor makes an effort, and pedals away.

The tinker draws level with Pablo.

Listen to this, says the tinker. O moon O moon I did too much too soon.

Lucky Ben O'Connor didn't hear that, says Pablo.

Meanwhile up ahead in both time and distance, Primoz Roglic is ascending the Alto de Moncalvillo 

Yes! A solo finish 46 seconds ahead of David Gaudu.

And one minute and 54 seconds ahead of Ben O'Connor. 

No one can say Roglic did too much too soon.

Excellent Tactic

Yes, a day is long.

Yesterday was long for Baby Pierre.

But today, he feels better.

He discards his bandage. Woo hoo!

No cracks.

He's back to his old self again.

He zooms out of Vitoria-Gasteiz, leaving the other riders behind him.

It's a hilly day, in the Basque country.

Tactics are required.

The Kroombit tinker is riding with Pablo.

What are our tactics? asks the tinker.

Aren't you with Baby Pierre? asks Pablo. What are his tactics?

We're not speaking, says the tinker. He tells lies.

Did he come up with a cock and bull story? asks Pablo.

Yes, says the tinker. He says he was rescued by a vulture.

That does seem far fetched, says Pablo.

Ben O'Connor rides by.

I hope you have good tactics worked out for today, says Pablo.

Don't worry, I have, says Ben O'Connor. Stay level with Roglic.

He speeds off. He has plenty of time to execute his tactic.

Did Baby Pierre explain why the vulture helped him? asks Pablo.

Not only helped him, but gave him a bandage, says the tinker.

A vulture wouldn't do that, says Pablo.

That's what I said, says the tinker. 

Is he better today? asks Pablo.

His bandage is off, says the tinker.

A fast healer, says Pablo. Did the vulture rescue his bicycle too?

Must have, says the tinker. He's back on it.

They continue pedalling together.

It's almost as if they are team mates.

Team mates who don't have a tactic.

Baby Pierre has stopped in Villafria, about 20k from the finish.

He is, to be honest, quite tired.

A vulture swoops down.

Keep going! says the vulture. You're only 20k from the finish.

I'm resting, says Baby Pierre. 

Where's your bandage? asks the vulture.

I threw it away, says Baby Pierre. 

I said I wanted it back, says the vulture.

Go and find it, says Baby Pierre. It's back at Vitoria-Gasteiz.

The vulture rolls its eyes and flies off to recover the discarded bandage.

Baby Pierre remains where he is, resting.

He is passed by a breakaway containing, among others, Urko Berrade.

Who is destined for the stage win today, due to an excellent tactic. 

A Day Is Long

Stage seventeen of the Vuelta

Monumento Juan de Castillo to Santander.

Today's flat finish will be a chance for the sprinters.

Pablo, not being a sprinter, is thinking of a line for his poem:

A day is long...

He thinks about Baby Pierre. Perhaps lying among unfeeling pebbles who don't speak his language.

Perhaps a vulture has spotted him far down in the ravine.

And swooped down to inspect him. 

And swooped up again, because Baby Pierre is a pebble.

And although the o-rings looked like split gooseberries, they were made of green rubber.

Pablo pedals on.

Kaden Groves is up ahead. Pablo draws level.

Going for it today? asks Pablo.

You bet, says Kaden Groves. See you at the finish.

He accelerates, in a confident way.

The Kroombit tinker comes up behind Pablo.

I've seen Baby Pierre! cries the tinker.

In a vision? asks Pablo.

No, in a bandage, says the tinker.

But he disappeared on the Cuitu Negru, says Pablo. Are you sure it was him?

He's kind of unmistakeable, says the Kroombit tinker.

Even in a bandage? asks Pablo.

Even so, says the tinker. The round shape, the skinny legs, the green o-wheels. It could only be him.

Is he behind us? asks Pablo.

Yes, says the tinker. He wasn't going that fast.

Perhaps we should wait for him, says Pablo.

He'd be embarrassed, says the tinker.

So they do not slow down.

A few low mountains later and the riders have all reached the flat part.

The streets are wet in Santander.

Tricky.

A mass bunch sprint occurs, spraying the spectators.

It's a close one

Kaden Groves gets the stage win, pipping Pavel Bittner and Vito Braet.

Kaden Groves will now wear the green jersey.

Ben O'Connor retains his five second lead over Roglic.

Five seconds! That's tiny.

Speaking of which, a small pebble in a bandage has just come in last.

Thinking Of Bears

The final week of the Vuelta.

Another mountain stage today, finishing at Lagos de Covadonga.

There should be a good view from there, says Pablo, to a second Pablo.

The beautiful lakes, says the second Pablo. And perhaps we shall spot a brown bear.

A brown bear? says the Kroombit tinker. Don't they eat people?

Not when they're on bikes, says Pablo.

Bears on bikes? says the tinker.

The Pablos laugh, and head for the start line.

Ben O'Connor is there, in his red jersey.

Go well today, says Pablo.

Thanks, says Ben O'Connor. Every second is precious. Any news of Baby Pierre?

Not yet, says Pablo. We think he may have fallen into a ravine,

But we don't KNOW! says the tinker. He might just be sulking.

Bang! The riders ride out of Luanco. 

The first 70 kilometres are relatively flat.

Pablo rides alongside Marc Soler for a while.

I have a good feeling about today, says Marc Soler.

Then you should go with it, says Pablo. But watch out for bears.

You're kidding me, says Marc Soler. Never seen one.

Me either, says Pablo.

Marc Soler pedals away, thinking about bears, and what would he do if he saw one, probably freak out and go even faster.... but that may not be smart.... it depends on the timing.... 

He tells himself not to think any more about bears.

Pablo hears trouble behind him.

A crash has occurred.

He forges ahead. As you're supposed to.

The Kroombit tinker has turned back to look.

Could it be Baby Pierre who has caused it? Which would mean Baby Pierre was okay.

Because he never gets hurt in the crashes he causes.

It's Wout van Aert, in a crash with some others.

Wout is bleeding. He gets back on his bike, but has to get off again.

That's it for him. 

The tinker looks around for Baby Pierre. 

But if he was here, he now isn't.

She looks skywards.

A bearded vulture flaps slowly away.

She keeps riding. Trying to catch up with Pablo.

Up the steep slopes of the Covadonga.

It is wet now and misty. 

Marc Soler has reached the summit first and commenced the downhill run to the finish.

He wins the stage, in conditions of low visibility.

He was right to stop thinking of bears. 

Spanish Speaking Pebbles

A rest day, in Oviedo. 

The Pablos are having lunch in the Plaza Escandalera.

Near the fountain, in front of Casa Conde.

The Pablos have brought snacks. Empanadas, croquetas, almondras fritas....

The Kroombit tinker has joined them.

Pablo ( our Pablo) offers her an empanada.

What's in it? asks the tinker.

Pork and vegetables says Pablo.

No, thank you, says the tinker.

Does anyone know what happened to Baby Pierre yesterday? asks a second Pablo.

The third and fourth Pablos shake their heads.

I'm not worried about him, says the tinker.

Perhaps he's feeling offended, says Pablo.

He laughed when I told him you'd asked me to try and rein him in, says the tinker.

Do I smell hot chocolate? asks a Pablo.

No, says another of the Pablos. Shall I go and buy churros?

Yes go, says the Pablo. 

Get something for me, says the tinker.

Like what? asks the Pablo who is going.

Insect, worm, spider, says the tinker. I'm not bothered.

The Pablo goes off. Perhaps he'll see a spider in the churro shop.

What if he fell down a ravine? asks the fourth Pablo.

He is a reckless speeder, says the tinker. He might well have.

Imagine that, says Pablo (our Pablo). He may be lying in a ravine of the Cuitu Negru amongst countless other pebbles.

With his green o-wheels, says the tinker.

Does he speak Spanish? asks the fourth Pablo.

Not usually, says the tinker.

Ever? asks the fourth Pablo.

Why do you ask? asks the tinker.

The other pebbles will speak Spanish, says the Pablo. And if he doesn't, he can't ask them for help.

It should be obvious to the other pebbles that a newly-fallen pebble with a bicycle at the bottom of their ravine needed help, says the tinker.

A delicious aroma of hot chocolate and churros fills the air, distracting everyone.

The Pablo who went for the churros has come back.

Each of the Pablos grabs a churro and dips it in the hot chocolate. Mmmm. Cielo!

Anything for me? asks the tinker.

The shop was too clean, says the Pablo. But I thought you might like to try these chicharrones.

He tips a few from a paper bag, in front of the tinker.

They are curly, like grubs.

She eats several before realising they must be fried pork rinds.

O yuck.

O well.

O hay.

One Fast Pablo

A crucial day for the GC riders. A shake-up is expected,

This will be a hard day, says Pablo.

His team mates in Los Chilenos agree.

Let's stick together, says one of the Pablos.

Good plan, say the others.

They form a solid bunch of Pablos in the midst of the peloton.

Ben O'Connor comes up behind them.

Bad tactic, says Ben O'Connor.

Depends, replies Pablo.

Anyone seen Baby Pierre? asks Ben O'Connor.

Not today, says Pablo. He's been asked to slow down.

As if, says Ben O'Connor.

You'd better get going, says Pablo. 

Yeah, I'd better, says Ben O'Connor. Big day.

Everyone toils up and down the challenging mountains. 

And still they have not reached the agonisingly steep slopes of the Cuitu Negru.

>>>>

Now they have.

The Pablos are fading. Including Pablo.

The Kroombit tinker is valiantly pedalling, while dreaming of flies.

O hay! I dream of fat flies. 

Primoz Roglic has changed his bike at the start of the climb.

To catch up he drafts behind the team car.

And is penalised twenty seconds.

But still he gains time on Ben O'Connor.

The gap between them is now only 46 seconds.

Up ahead, who is this? The crowd shouts Pablo! Pablo!

But which Pablo?

It is Pablo Castillo, the young Spanish Pablo, who came first on Stage 12.

He has broken away from Alex Vlasov and Pavel Sivakov.

And triumphed in the mists of Cuitu Negru.

Where is Baby Pierre? 

Was he at the top, waiting?

Good question.

No one has seen him.