Galileo's Bicycle, by Professor Freud

To the Editors of Velosophy

Dear Friends,

Please find enclosed my final draft of Galileo's Bicycle for inclusion in your magazine. I trust the small embarrassment at the Tour Down Under is now behind us. These things tend to happen when one gets over-excited. As you will see, I make light of it in my article.

GALILEO'S BICYCLE.

Did Galileo have a bicycle? No, we can be fairly certain he did not. This is merely an example of the free association of ideas, incidentally invented by myself. But that is by the way.

In what way is it an example of the free association of ideas? In this way. I was recently reading a book called Weighing the Soul, by Len Fisher. In it he describes how he once used a bicycle to demonstrate Galileo's laws of constant velocity and projectile motion.

He rode his bicycle at constant speed past his local pub, challenging onlookers to guess where a stone would land after he threw it straight up in the air. Thirty percent guessed that it would land behind him, but Mr Fisher's demonstration confirmed Galileo's prediction that it would keep moving forward at the same speed.

And how did this happen? In a most comical way. The stone landed directly on top of his head!

I myself have tried to reproduce this experiment, most recently at the Tour Down under, to the amusement onlookers, when the team I was part of was disqualified for throwing stones.

Nor was it a worthwhile exercise. My team mates refused to cooperate and did not throw their stones properly. Indeed, one of them was seen throwing his stone at a tree!

As a result of this, I have come up with a new and more modern way of testing Galileo's Laws, as they apply to Paintball.

Let us say you are firing your Paintball at a person jumping out of a tree. The question is, should you fire at the person, or should you fire below the person at the point where you expect him to be when the Paintball reaches the tree?

Are there any Paintball enthusiasts amongst the readers of Velosophy interested in a Paintball afternoon some time in the coming weeks? If you are, please let me know, through the editors. You may, of course, bring your bicycles. And perhaps we might organise a picnic.

Unley to Stirling

Professor Freud is chatting with Team Existentialist, to whom he has just been introduced.

Professor Freud; It is like this gentlemen. I need some riders to help me with a simple experiment.

Jean Paul Sartre: And it is like this Professor Freud. We are in need of some money, and an additional rider.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau: I see that you yourself are a rider, Professor Freud. May I ask which team you ride for?

Professor Freud: Alas. No team at the present.

Jean Paul Sartre: Then my dear Professor, if you are willing to join our team, and put up a reasonable sum of money, we, as practical existentialists, shall be happy to assist you with your experiment. May I ask what it is?

Professor Freud: I should like you to take one of these stones, and when you are riding at a constant speed, throw it up in the air.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau: To what end, Professor Freud?

Professor Freud: To this end. I wish to confirm the truth of Galileo's Laws of Constant Velocity and Projectile Motion. I wish to do this for an article I am writing for the magazine Velosophy, with whose editors we are mutually acquainted.

Jean Paul Sartre: Now wait a minute, Professor Freud. What is it that you expect to happen when the stones come down?

Professor Freud: Would you care to hazard a guess?

Jean-Jacques Rousseau: They'll drop behind us of course.

Jean-Paul Sartre: No, no, they won't. I'll wager that they fall directly on our heads.

Professor Freud: How very fascinating, gentlemen, that you disagree. The answer is not obvious at all. But Galileo predicts the stones will fall upon your heads.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau: Fascinating it may be, but I should not care to risk stones falling on my head. However, this will not happen. The stones will fall behind us. How fortunate for the others that we are always at the back of the peloton.