The oily cabbage passes through Farky rapidly.
He needs to go outside.
A powerful stench fills the garden.
Holy crap! says Sweezus.
Good for the roses, says Gaius.
Gaius's phone rings. It's Vello.
Yes, yes, says Gaius. Almost done. I'll drop it by shortly.
You writing something for Vello? asks Sweezus.
Supposed to be, says Gaius. I'd agreed to write an article on Professor Xu Xing. Then I had the fall and concussion.
Did you have an angle? asks Sweezus.
Oh yes, says Gaius. Ninety degrees.
I meant for the story, says Sweezus.
Indeed, most intriguing, says Gaius. See that bicycle, in the shed there?
Yeah, says Sweezus. Professor Xu Xing was riding it. Looks like Schopenhauer's.
It is, says Gaius. The remarkable thing was, whoever rode it began to think like Schopenhauer.
No kidding, says Sweezus. Did they want to keep stopping at restaurants?
Not that aspect of Schopenhauer, says Gaius. No. They made various pronouncements on suffering.
Doesn't everyone? says Sweezus.
Farky comes bounding up, feeling lighter, to prance around Sweezus, whom he likes more than anyone.
No intention of making a comment.
But Farky has reckoned without his Omniscient Teeth.
Ask me about suffering, says Om-Farky.
You see? says Gaius. And this hound has not even ridden the bicycle. He's simply in its vicinity.
Yeah, but...... that wasn't a pronouncement, says Sweezus.
Gaius bends down.
What do you know about suffering? asks Gaius.
How to r-i-i-ise above it, says Om-Farky. How to harness the void and its latent potentiality.
You hear that? says Sweezus. Sports-Med-Psychology!
Yes, says Gaius. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Yes, he is, says Om-Farky. But I warn you, you're heading for discord.
Nonsense, says Gaius. You'd give us a tremendous advantage.
Massive, says Sweezus. You're coming with us to Utrecht!
Farky leaps up, wagging his tail.
His Omniscient Teeth are reluctant to spoil the joyful moment.
But truth above all.
You two are on different teams, says Om-Farky.
Not necessarily, says Gaius. I could ride for Team Condor.
Sweezus does a quick mental calculation.
Him, Arthur, Pablo. That's three. Yep, there's room on the team for another.....but....Gaius? He was going to ask Surfing-With-Whales.
The universe trembles.
A yellow leaf falls from an apricot tree.
The results of the Tour de France (possibly) hang in the balance.
Monday, June 15, 2015
Saturday, June 13, 2015
The Split Between Knower And Known
Gaius flicks the switch on his cordless Ryobi.
Farky's eyes widen.
The Omniscient Teeth turn pale.
No need to worry, says Gaius. I'm using my smallest drill bit. Hold his head steady.
Sweezus grips Farky's head.
Oh. The bones in his skull feel so fragile.
Farky's head vibrates. Buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz.
Done, says Gaius, switching the drill off. Let's see the damage.
Farky's mouth is set in a horrible rictus.
Sweezus and Gaius look in at the Teeth.
The Teeth, which were rounded, being formed from conglomerate clasts, are now sharply triangular.
That's heaps good, says Sweezus. Pointed teeth. Want a snack, Farky?
Gaius goes into the pantry to look for a snack.
For some reason, Farky does not seem excited at the prospect.
What's up Farky? says Sweezus. Snack time. You must be starving.
Farky is trying to say something. What is it? Come on Teeth, make an effort!
Cnt, says Farky.
Shit, says Sweezus. Gaius! He still can't open his mouth!
Gaius comes back with some pounded cabbage, which is all he has handy.
What's this? says Gaius. Still stuck together? How can that be?
Stuck at the points of contact, says Sweezus.
It's true. The points of the teeth are still bonded,. But now there are diamond-shaped gaps.
Straw, says Gaius. I'll fetch a straw.
For sucking up cabbage? says Sweezus. Do you reckon?
I'll pound it up further, says Gaius. With oil. Lots of oil. I'll make it quite runny.
Hurry up then, says Sweezus. He doesn't look happy.
Gaius pounds the cabbage with the oil rapidly.
I feel stronger already, says Gaius.
Which admittedly isn't the object.
Eventually the mixture is ready. Farky sucks it up through the straw.
Swuurp-swuurp-swuuurp!
It tastes surprisingly minty.
Haaah! says Farky.
Hurrah! At last he has uttered a vowel!
Does this mean......?
Yes! his mouth is now opening and shutting.
How'd that happen? says Sweezus. What was in it?
Oxymel, coriander, rue, mint and silphium root, says Gaius. I take it every morning. It's good for hypochondria.
That's amazing, says Sweezus, patting Farky and ruffling his ears.
Don't do that, says Farky. As much as I love you.
Freak-me-out! says Sweezus. Farky! You're talking. Say something else.
It's not actually me, says Farky. It's the Teeth talking.
Yes it is, say the Omniscient Teeth. We are talking. And now we can talk freely we have something important to say.
Fascinating, says Gaius. What is it?
Yeah what is it? says Sweezus.
Everything happens for a reason, say the Teeth.
I read that on Facebook! says Sweezus. But yeah, it's heaps true.
It's not Facebook, say the Teeth, it is the goal which all austerities aim at. When one gains true knowledge, there is no split between knower and known.
I get it, says Sweezus.
No you don't, say the Teeth. All these events have conspired because Farky was unable to speak to you. Now he can.
Cool, says Sweezus. Good boy, Farky.
Farky jumps up, licks his face. His breath smells of cabbage.
Farky's eyes widen.
The Omniscient Teeth turn pale.
No need to worry, says Gaius. I'm using my smallest drill bit. Hold his head steady.
Sweezus grips Farky's head.
Oh. The bones in his skull feel so fragile.
Farky's head vibrates. Buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz.
Done, says Gaius, switching the drill off. Let's see the damage.
Farky's mouth is set in a horrible rictus.
Sweezus and Gaius look in at the Teeth.
The Teeth, which were rounded, being formed from conglomerate clasts, are now sharply triangular.
That's heaps good, says Sweezus. Pointed teeth. Want a snack, Farky?
Gaius goes into the pantry to look for a snack.
For some reason, Farky does not seem excited at the prospect.
What's up Farky? says Sweezus. Snack time. You must be starving.
Farky is trying to say something. What is it? Come on Teeth, make an effort!
Cnt, says Farky.
Shit, says Sweezus. Gaius! He still can't open his mouth!
Gaius comes back with some pounded cabbage, which is all he has handy.
What's this? says Gaius. Still stuck together? How can that be?
Stuck at the points of contact, says Sweezus.
It's true. The points of the teeth are still bonded,. But now there are diamond-shaped gaps.
Straw, says Gaius. I'll fetch a straw.
For sucking up cabbage? says Sweezus. Do you reckon?
I'll pound it up further, says Gaius. With oil. Lots of oil. I'll make it quite runny.
Hurry up then, says Sweezus. He doesn't look happy.
Gaius pounds the cabbage with the oil rapidly.
I feel stronger already, says Gaius.
Which admittedly isn't the object.
Eventually the mixture is ready. Farky sucks it up through the straw.
Swuurp-swuurp-swuuurp!
It tastes surprisingly minty.
Haaah! says Farky.
Hurrah! At last he has uttered a vowel!
Does this mean......?
Yes! his mouth is now opening and shutting.
How'd that happen? says Sweezus. What was in it?
Oxymel, coriander, rue, mint and silphium root, says Gaius. I take it every morning. It's good for hypochondria.
That's amazing, says Sweezus, patting Farky and ruffling his ears.
Don't do that, says Farky. As much as I love you.
Freak-me-out! says Sweezus. Farky! You're talking. Say something else.
It's not actually me, says Farky. It's the Teeth talking.
Yes it is, say the Omniscient Teeth. We are talking. And now we can talk freely we have something important to say.
Fascinating, says Gaius. What is it?
Yeah what is it? says Sweezus.
Everything happens for a reason, say the Teeth.
I read that on Facebook! says Sweezus. But yeah, it's heaps true.
It's not Facebook, say the Teeth, it is the goal which all austerities aim at. When one gains true knowledge, there is no split between knower and known.
I get it, says Sweezus.
No you don't, say the Teeth. All these events have conspired because Farky was unable to speak to you. Now he can.
Cool, says Sweezus. Good boy, Farky.
Farky jumps up, licks his face. His breath smells of cabbage.
Thursday, June 11, 2015
The Omniscient Teeth
Farky is humming the sound of the all encompassing mystical entity.
It's all he can do.
Gaius is racking his brains for a solvent.
Sweezus gets out his phone and calls Arthur.
Arthur, says Sweezus. Got a problem.
What is it? says Arthur.
Farky's teeth are glued shut, says Sweezus.
Farky's teeth are glued shut, repeats Arthur. That's kind of draconian.
Not on purpose, says Sweezus. Who's that laughing?
Terence, says Arthur.
Hell's bells, says Sweezus. Is he still there?
Yes, says Arthur. Belle hasn't come back yet.
What dissolves bull glue? asks Sweezus.
What dissolves bull glue? repeats Arthur.
Bull wee! says Terence.
A door slams.
A female voice says something.
Try nail polish remover, says Arthur.
Dude, you're a lifesaver, says Sweezus.
What did he suggest? asks Gaius.
Nail polish remover, says Sweezus.
Omm-mm-m! hums Farky, in a wavering tone.
For the first time in ages, the Omniscient Teeth are inclined to say something.
m-dnt-wnt-nl-plsh-rmvr-nywhr-nr-m-mth, says Farky.
What's that, Farky? asks Sweezus.
The Omniscient Teeth are prepared to repeat this ad infinitum.
m-dnt-wnt-nl-plsh-rmvr, says Farky.
He don't want nail polish remover, says Sweezus.
How did you know what he was saying? asks Gaius.
It's a talent, says Sweezus.
Remarkable, says Gaius. You must teach him better English. Well, tell Farky not to worry. I don't have any nail polish remover.
h-dnt-hv-ny-nl-plsh-rmvr, says Sweezus.
Farky gives Sweezus a pitying look.
What a dick head.
The Teeth too are nettled. Normally they speak perfect English. Damn this restriction!
Gaius meanwhile has come up with another solution.
He goes out to the garage and comes back with a lime green cordless Ryobi.
It's all he can do.
Gaius is racking his brains for a solvent.
Sweezus gets out his phone and calls Arthur.
Arthur, says Sweezus. Got a problem.
What is it? says Arthur.
Farky's teeth are glued shut, says Sweezus.
Farky's teeth are glued shut, repeats Arthur. That's kind of draconian.
Not on purpose, says Sweezus. Who's that laughing?
Terence, says Arthur.
Hell's bells, says Sweezus. Is he still there?
Yes, says Arthur. Belle hasn't come back yet.
What dissolves bull glue? asks Sweezus.
What dissolves bull glue? repeats Arthur.
Bull wee! says Terence.
A door slams.
A female voice says something.
Try nail polish remover, says Arthur.
Dude, you're a lifesaver, says Sweezus.
What did he suggest? asks Gaius.
Nail polish remover, says Sweezus.
Omm-mm-m! hums Farky, in a wavering tone.
For the first time in ages, the Omniscient Teeth are inclined to say something.
m-dnt-wnt-nl-plsh-rmvr-nywhr-nr-m-mth, says Farky.
What's that, Farky? asks Sweezus.
The Omniscient Teeth are prepared to repeat this ad infinitum.
m-dnt-wnt-nl-plsh-rmvr, says Farky.
He don't want nail polish remover, says Sweezus.
How did you know what he was saying? asks Gaius.
It's a talent, says Sweezus.
Remarkable, says Gaius. You must teach him better English. Well, tell Farky not to worry. I don't have any nail polish remover.
h-dnt-hv-ny-nl-plsh-rmvr, says Sweezus.
Farky gives Sweezus a pitying look.
What a dick head.
The Teeth too are nettled. Normally they speak perfect English. Damn this restriction!
Gaius meanwhile has come up with another solution.
He goes out to the garage and comes back with a lime green cordless Ryobi.
Humming In Tune With The Universe
Now this bull glue, says Gaius, is made from bull's ears and genitals. Whereas the fish glue is made from icthyocolla, or fish.
Which do you recommend? asks Sweezus.
In this case, the bull glue, says Gaius. It's by far the stronger.
What d'you reckon Farky? asks Sweezus.
Let him sniff them, says Gaius.
Farky sniffs the bull glue, then the fish glue, then goes back to the bull glue.
That's how you tell what dog's like.
Good, says Gaius. That's decided. Now the next question. Where are the teeth?
In his mouth, says Sweezus. But they're broken.
Where are the broken pieces? says Gaius.
He must have swallowed them, says Sweezus.
That makes it harder, says Gaius.
Yeah, says Sweezus. Woah, Farky! Stop licking the glue.
Farky stops licking the glue.
Gaius is looking for a solution.
He has a brainwave.
It's not very fair.
In the corner of the windowsill sits the Omniscient Stone, a beautiful conglomerate.
She is gathering dust, and of recent times has given up uttering.
With one exception. She will sometimes say OMM.
Gaius gets out his geology hammer and chisel.
He picks up the Omniscient Stone. and starts chipping away at her clasts.
The Omniscient Stone knew this would happen.
Whatever. Her new life has begun.
Soon six of her best clasts are glued to Farky's teeth with bull's ear and genital glue.
And Farky is mended.
Good boy, says Sweezus, patting Farky, for being so patient.
Yes, good boy, says Gaius. Now we must keep his mouth open until the glue sets.
He looks round for a wedge,
But alas, he can't find one, and Farky closes his mouth too early.
Shit, says Sweezus. He's closed it.
Tch! says Gaius. This glue is stronger than superglue! The poor dog is doomed!
Farky stretches his lips, but his teeth will not open.
He tries to howl. Nothing happens.
Until it does.
His omniscient teeth begin to hum in tune with the universe and everything in it.
OMM.
Which do you recommend? asks Sweezus.
In this case, the bull glue, says Gaius. It's by far the stronger.
What d'you reckon Farky? asks Sweezus.
Let him sniff them, says Gaius.
Farky sniffs the bull glue, then the fish glue, then goes back to the bull glue.
That's how you tell what dog's like.
Good, says Gaius. That's decided. Now the next question. Where are the teeth?
In his mouth, says Sweezus. But they're broken.
Where are the broken pieces? says Gaius.
He must have swallowed them, says Sweezus.
That makes it harder, says Gaius.
Yeah, says Sweezus. Woah, Farky! Stop licking the glue.
Farky stops licking the glue.
Gaius is looking for a solution.
He has a brainwave.
It's not very fair.
In the corner of the windowsill sits the Omniscient Stone, a beautiful conglomerate.
She is gathering dust, and of recent times has given up uttering.
With one exception. She will sometimes say OMM.
Gaius gets out his geology hammer and chisel.
He picks up the Omniscient Stone. and starts chipping away at her clasts.
The Omniscient Stone knew this would happen.
Whatever. Her new life has begun.
Soon six of her best clasts are glued to Farky's teeth with bull's ear and genital glue.
And Farky is mended.
Good boy, says Sweezus, patting Farky, for being so patient.
Yes, good boy, says Gaius. Now we must keep his mouth open until the glue sets.
He looks round for a wedge,
But alas, he can't find one, and Farky closes his mouth too early.
Shit, says Sweezus. He's closed it.
Tch! says Gaius. This glue is stronger than superglue! The poor dog is doomed!
Farky stretches his lips, but his teeth will not open.
He tries to howl. Nothing happens.
Until it does.
His omniscient teeth begin to hum in tune with the universe and everything in it.
OMM.
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Bull Glue And Fish Glue
Arthur and Terence are at Sweezus's place.
It wasn't my fault, says Terence.
Who says it was? says Arthur, idly clicking his needles.
EVERYONE, says Terence.
If a dog bites you, says Arthur, it's the dog's fault.
Yes, says Terence. And now he must pay, by not eating.
He'll die, says Arthur. Unless he drinks soup.
Or red milkshakes, says Terence. Like I had for breakfast.
Was that a milkshake? says Arthur.
No, says Terence. It would have been, but there was no shaker.
The vet'll fix him, says Arthur.
Vets can fix anything.
But Terence is wrong about one thing. It isn't the dog that will pay.
.....
Sweezus and Farky are at the Animal Hospital, across the road from Gaius's.
Farky is whimpering, from complete lack of breakfast.
Sweezus examines the dog toys, all of which require chomping.
It's their turn to go in.
Six broken teeth! says the vet, Tony. How did that happen?
Couldn't say, says Sweezus.
Come on, says Tony. If it's animal cruelty I'll have to report you.
Biting an infant, says Sweezus. But the infant was harder than he expected.
That's okay then, says Tony. Now let's look at these teeth.
Tony grasps Farky by the snout and prises his jaws open.
Farky's eyes fill with dog tears.
Sweezus winces.
Three choices, says Tony. One, we can put Farky down, since he can't eat anything. A simple solution that will cost five hundred dollars.
Two, we can fit him up with a set of false dog teeth. This is generally successful, in the short term, and will cost you five thousand dollars. Downside is, you can't let him out of your sight. They do tend to swallow them.
Three, you could go the whole hog and get implants. Expensive. You might want to pay by instalments. Do you own your own home?
Thanks mate, says Sweezus. We'll have to think about that one.
He yanks Farky out of the surgery, through the waiting room, out the door, and across the road to Gaius's.
Gaius is home.
Still got the hound? says Gaius.
Yeah, says Sweezus. Is Lauren still here?
No, says Gaius. Gone back to Noarlunga. What's wrong with him? His mouth's bleeding.
Busted teeth, says Sweezus. We've just been to the vet's.
Don't waste your money, says Gaius.
He kneels and looks into the depleted mouth of Farky.
Roman glue, says Gaius. That's all that needed. I'll look in the cupboard.
He goes to the cupboard and comes back with two pots of ancient Roman adhesive.
Bull glue and fish glue.
Farky sniffs and looks hopeful.
It wasn't my fault, says Terence.
Who says it was? says Arthur, idly clicking his needles.
EVERYONE, says Terence.
If a dog bites you, says Arthur, it's the dog's fault.
Yes, says Terence. And now he must pay, by not eating.
He'll die, says Arthur. Unless he drinks soup.
Or red milkshakes, says Terence. Like I had for breakfast.
Was that a milkshake? says Arthur.
No, says Terence. It would have been, but there was no shaker.
The vet'll fix him, says Arthur.
Vets can fix anything.
But Terence is wrong about one thing. It isn't the dog that will pay.
.....
Sweezus and Farky are at the Animal Hospital, across the road from Gaius's.
Farky is whimpering, from complete lack of breakfast.
Sweezus examines the dog toys, all of which require chomping.
It's their turn to go in.
Six broken teeth! says the vet, Tony. How did that happen?
Couldn't say, says Sweezus.
Come on, says Tony. If it's animal cruelty I'll have to report you.
Biting an infant, says Sweezus. But the infant was harder than he expected.
That's okay then, says Tony. Now let's look at these teeth.
Tony grasps Farky by the snout and prises his jaws open.
Farky's eyes fill with dog tears.
Sweezus winces.
Three choices, says Tony. One, we can put Farky down, since he can't eat anything. A simple solution that will cost five hundred dollars.
Two, we can fit him up with a set of false dog teeth. This is generally successful, in the short term, and will cost you five thousand dollars. Downside is, you can't let him out of your sight. They do tend to swallow them.
Three, you could go the whole hog and get implants. Expensive. You might want to pay by instalments. Do you own your own home?
Thanks mate, says Sweezus. We'll have to think about that one.
He yanks Farky out of the surgery, through the waiting room, out the door, and across the road to Gaius's.
Gaius is home.
Still got the hound? says Gaius.
Yeah, says Sweezus. Is Lauren still here?
No, says Gaius. Gone back to Noarlunga. What's wrong with him? His mouth's bleeding.
Busted teeth, says Sweezus. We've just been to the vet's.
Don't waste your money, says Gaius.
He kneels and looks into the depleted mouth of Farky.
Roman glue, says Gaius. That's all that needed. I'll look in the cupboard.
He goes to the cupboard and comes back with two pots of ancient Roman adhesive.
Bull glue and fish glue.
Farky sniffs and looks hopeful.
Monday, June 8, 2015
Six Broken Teeth
Next morning Farky is found to have six broken teeth.
How has this happened?
To find out, we must go back to last night at the Brave Little Tailor in Peel Street.
Sweezus and Arthur have met up with two girls and got talking.
Terence is bored.
(But is this boring? You be the judge).
Elena: You remind me of someone.
Arthur: I know.
Elena: Huh? What was that answer?
Arthur: I......no.
Sweezus: He doesn't like to be recognised.
Arthur: Nor does he.
Mattie: Oh. Are you someone too?
Terence: Can I have a sticky cake?
Sweezus: No, Terence.
Mattie: I'll buy you a sticky cake, little cherub.
Elena: Get me one too. You guys want one?
Arthur: I do.
Elena: Give me the money.
Arthur (feeling about in his pocket): Hey!
Sweezus: Stuck yourself with a needle? I told you.
Arthur (drawing out a small aromatic package): Forgot I had this.
He opens the package.
A strong herbal scent fills the air round the table.
Mattie (sniffing): Is that Ginko Biloba?
Elena: Nah. It's not that.
Mattie: Yeah it is.
Elena: Well you'd know, Mattie.
Sweezus: No kidding? What's it good for?
Mattie: It inhibits brain rusting. Protects the brain neurons from oxidative damage.
Sweezus: Heavy.
Arthur: No good to me. Who wants it? I don't want it.
Sweezus: Ha ha, you wouldn't.
Elena: Mattie's got something you might like better.
Terence: Sticky cake?
Arthur: What?
Elena: Damiana. The Aztecs used it as an aphrodisiac and dream promoter.....
Terence: IS ANYONE LISTENING?
No one is. Not to him anyway.
So Terence stomps out of the Brave Little Tailor.
He stomps all the way home.
At Sweezus's place it's perfectly quiet.
Terence goes round the the back.
Yes lucky. The door is unlocked.
He goes in, but he can't reach the light switch.
Suddenly. Raaaw! Six cracking sounds occur simultaneously.
Terence is unharmed, thanks to his essential nature being largely cement based.
But Farky's teeth are ruined, and the vet's bill will be astronomical.
How has this happened?
To find out, we must go back to last night at the Brave Little Tailor in Peel Street.
Sweezus and Arthur have met up with two girls and got talking.
Terence is bored.
(But is this boring? You be the judge).
Elena: You remind me of someone.
Arthur: I know.
Elena: Huh? What was that answer?
Arthur: I......no.
Sweezus: He doesn't like to be recognised.
Arthur: Nor does he.
Mattie: Oh. Are you someone too?
Terence: Can I have a sticky cake?
Sweezus: No, Terence.
Mattie: I'll buy you a sticky cake, little cherub.
Elena: Get me one too. You guys want one?
Arthur: I do.
Elena: Give me the money.
Arthur (feeling about in his pocket): Hey!
Sweezus: Stuck yourself with a needle? I told you.
Arthur (drawing out a small aromatic package): Forgot I had this.
He opens the package.
A strong herbal scent fills the air round the table.
Mattie (sniffing): Is that Ginko Biloba?
Elena: Nah. It's not that.
Mattie: Yeah it is.
Elena: Well you'd know, Mattie.
Sweezus: No kidding? What's it good for?
Mattie: It inhibits brain rusting. Protects the brain neurons from oxidative damage.
Sweezus: Heavy.
Arthur: No good to me. Who wants it? I don't want it.
Sweezus: Ha ha, you wouldn't.
Elena: Mattie's got something you might like better.
Terence: Sticky cake?
Arthur: What?
Elena: Damiana. The Aztecs used it as an aphrodisiac and dream promoter.....
Terence: IS ANYONE LISTENING?
No one is. Not to him anyway.
So Terence stomps out of the Brave Little Tailor.
He stomps all the way home.
At Sweezus's place it's perfectly quiet.
Terence goes round the the back.
Yes lucky. The door is unlocked.
He goes in, but he can't reach the light switch.
Suddenly. Raaaw! Six cracking sounds occur simultaneously.
Terence is unharmed, thanks to his essential nature being largely cement based.
But Farky's teeth are ruined, and the vet's bill will be astronomical.
Sunday, June 7, 2015
Deep Dog Psyche
What now? says Sweezus.
We could go to a bar, says Arthur.
We could, says Sweezus, but what about Terence?
I go to bars, says Terence. I went to one once in Saint Kilda. Lorna sat on my hat.
And what about Farky? says Arthur.
Farky tries to look small.
Leave him at my place, says Sweezus.
They take Farky to Sweezus's place and lock him inside.
As they leave Farky watches them through the window.
Then he goes searching for socks.
Sweezus, Arthur and Terence head back to the city.
Shall we observe them, or Farky?
Let's observe Farky.
He is still looking for socks.
At Lauren's house there were socks in abundance.
Her socks, which featured hearts and kittens, and smelled of Tropical Lily.
And the more delightful socks of Surfing-With-Whales, which smelled of chlorine and blue cheese.
He looks in the laundry.
No socks. No dirty washing.
He looks in the bedroom.
Tidy. Drawers closed. Bed made.
Normally, show me the bedroom I'll show you the man.
But not in this case, because Belle popped in while Sweezus was away, to tidy up.
At least the bed smells of Sweezus.
Farky jumps up on the bed, and lies doggo, waiting for Sweezus.
At this point we might leave Farky as he appears to be doing nothing.
But we are not going to. We are going to dig deeper into his psyche.
Farky is dozing, and every two seconds his eyes open, his ears prick, he makes a dog noise.
rgreueu! ( a dog noise )
And this happens: (dream of farky)
rgreueuwoo all my people will come what is that noise?? it's a creaker.... lie low
rgreueuwoo weoo don't like creakers
regreeu eu woo not all my people not terence...... bite terence.....
Who knew?
Farky dreams of biting Terence.
It was worth missing out on the bar, to find that out.
We could go to a bar, says Arthur.
We could, says Sweezus, but what about Terence?
I go to bars, says Terence. I went to one once in Saint Kilda. Lorna sat on my hat.
And what about Farky? says Arthur.
Farky tries to look small.
Leave him at my place, says Sweezus.
They take Farky to Sweezus's place and lock him inside.
As they leave Farky watches them through the window.
Then he goes searching for socks.
Sweezus, Arthur and Terence head back to the city.
Shall we observe them, or Farky?
Let's observe Farky.
He is still looking for socks.
At Lauren's house there were socks in abundance.
Her socks, which featured hearts and kittens, and smelled of Tropical Lily.
And the more delightful socks of Surfing-With-Whales, which smelled of chlorine and blue cheese.
He looks in the laundry.
No socks. No dirty washing.
He looks in the bedroom.
Tidy. Drawers closed. Bed made.
Normally, show me the bedroom I'll show you the man.
But not in this case, because Belle popped in while Sweezus was away, to tidy up.
At least the bed smells of Sweezus.
Farky jumps up on the bed, and lies doggo, waiting for Sweezus.
At this point we might leave Farky as he appears to be doing nothing.
But we are not going to. We are going to dig deeper into his psyche.
Farky is dozing, and every two seconds his eyes open, his ears prick, he makes a dog noise.
rgreueu! ( a dog noise )
And this happens: (dream of farky)
rgreueuwoo all my people will come what is that noise?? it's a creaker.... lie low
rgreueuwoo weoo don't like creakers
regreeu eu woo not all my people not terence...... bite terence.....
Who knew?
Farky dreams of biting Terence.
It was worth missing out on the bar, to find that out.
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