When Blinking Means Yes

I know where the lizard will be, says Baby Pierre.

Where? asks Terence.

Where the sun is, says Baby Pierre.

Terence looks up at the sky.

On the ground, enjoying warm sunny patches, says Baby Pierre. Don't you know anything?

I was looking for Roo-kai, says Terence. He might come back for directions.

Not yet. Help me look for the lizard, says Baby Pierre. Stand still and watch for eyes staring straight at you.

Terence stands still. This reminds him of mean old Saint Joseph, always on the lookout....

A head pokes out from a pile of dead weeds.

There he is, says Terence.

Ask him, says Baby Pierre.

You ask him, says Terence.

Yes, that's best, says Baby Pierre.

Baby Pierre rolls slowly towards the lizard. It flicks out its blue tongue, and retracts it.

Nice one, says Baby Pierre. Are you busy?

The lizard does not appear to be busy.

Did you see a parrot, a little while ago? asks Baby Pierre.

The lizard knows it was an oystercatcher, not a parrot. But says nothing.

Did it ask you which way was north? asks Baby Pierre.

The lizard knows it did. But pretends not to remember.

Yes, says Terence. 

YOU don't know! says Baby Pierre.

Well, he isn't saying, says Terence. If it's yes, he might blink, and then we can ask the next question.

What will he do if it's no, says Baby Pierre.

Keep staring, says Terence.

That's what he's doing, says Baby Pierre. But we don't know if it's because no is the answer.

The lizard blinks. 

He blinked, says Terence.

I just did that to prove something, says the lizard.

FINALLY! says Terence. What?

Blinking doesn't mean yes unless I consent to yes being it's meaning, says the lizard.

Does it mean no? asks Terence.

No, says the lizard. 

Is that a trick answer? asks Terence.

Stop this, says Baby Pierre. We want to know if you gave Roo-kai misleading directions. He has recently arrived here from France, and may not have his bearings.

Oh dear, says the lizard. Yes I did send him south. But don't worry, he will soon realise. What was he looking for?

The submarine building facility, says Baby Pierre. Instead of which  you have sent him towards the desalination plant.

I didn't know he was French, says the lizard.

North Is The Top Of The Map

 Roo-kai flies south.

We can't blame him, nor the lizard.

Let us leave him to realise his mistake.

Back at Gaius's house, the doorbell rings. It's Vello, who has returned with the shopping.

Welcome! says Gaius. Come in!

We've got a lizard, says Terence.

Where is it? asks Vello.

Out the back, says Terence. Want to see it?

No thank you, says Vello. I'll drop off the shopping and get going. I'm meeting someone at the office.

Gaius unpacks the shopping. Apples, oranges, blueberries, pasta, cheese, teabags, instant coffee.

You can help me put these away, Terence, says Gaius.

Okay, says Terence. Blueberries first.

No, the pasta, says Gaius. Put it in the pantry.

Terence carries the pasta into the pantry.

Hello, says a voice from the top shelf of the pantry.

It's Baby Pierre!

What are you doing up there? asks Terence.

Looking for something, says Baby Pierre.

Come down, says Terence.

A photo, says Baby Pierre.

I didn't ask you what for, says Terence. Guess what, I've got a new parrot!

I heard, says Baby Pierre. I can hear everything from up here. He's called Roo-kai, and he's gone off on a spying mission.

Yes, says Terence. Flying north.

But wait, says Baby Pierre. Where is he from, your new parrot?

France, says Terence.

Does he know which way is north? asks Baby Pierre.

The top of the map, says Terence.

Which door did he go out of? asks Baby Pierre.

The back door, says Terence. He talked to the lizard.

You'd better hope he didn't ask that lizard for directions, says Baby Pierre.

WHY? asks Terence.

It doesn't CARE, says Baby Pierre. It would point anywhere.

Let's go and ask it, says Terence.

I'm still looking for the photo, says Baby Pierre. It was of me and a spider.

This is more important, says Terence.

All right, watch out, says Baby Pierre. I'm coming.

He rolls off the shelf and drops on the floor next to Terence.

Good dropping, says Terence.

Thank you, says Baby Pierre.

They come out of the pantry.

You took your time, says Gaius. And where are you taking the pasta?

Nowhere! says Terence. We have a problem!

Give it to me, says Gaius. I suppose you had trouble locating the pasta jar.

He enters the pantry, with the pasta, quickly locating the jar.

Hum. And where was Terence going in such a hurry, with Baby Pierre?

Out through the back door. They are looking for the lizard, who is hiding. 

It doesn't trust Baby Pierre.

A Discontinuity

Vello has left, to do Gaius's shopping.

Gaius goes into the back garden.

A blue tongue lizard retreats under a sage bush.

The grass needs cutting, thinks Gaius. And there are weeds. Also the apricot tree could do with netting.

There will be plenty to do while he's home quarantining.

He goes back inside.

Terence and Roo-kai have spread the spying Instructions on the kitchen table.

This goes with that, says Terence.

No it doesn't, says Roo-kai. A map should be continuous.

It is continuous, says Terence.

No it isn't, says Roo-kai. And I'll never find the submarine building facility if I'm flying along following this map and suddenly. Blerk! A discontinuity!

Let's ask Gaius, says Terence.

What is it? asks Gaius.

This map got torn in half accidentally, says Terence.

Prematurely, says Roo-kai.

I see, says Gaius. And you'd like me to stick it back together.

Not permanently, says Roo-kai. 

Nothing is permanent, says Gaius. Why just now I noticed a blue tongue lizard in the back garden. I've  not seen one in my back garden before. But show me this map.

It's on the table, in two parts.

This lines up with that, says Gaius. This is the Port River and this is Torrens Island. And this is the Techport Naval and Defence Hub in Osborne. Put simply, you fly north and turn east at the North Haven Marina. Shall I glue it?

No, says Roo-kai. It does look simple. I'll commit it to memory, and get going.

What about the boxes? asks Terence.

There are boxes? says Gaius. He lifts the two map parts under which there are two sets of pages with  multiple choice question and answer boxes.

An example: Est-ce qu' il ya un submarine ici a ce moment?

A: Oui

B: Non

Another example: Est-ce complet?

A : Oui

B: Non

A further example: Est-ce qu' il ya un bureau ouvert?

A: Oui

B: Oui, un bureau, mais ce n'est pas ouvert.

C: Non.

And so on.

These are simple questions, says Gaius. You are right Roo-kai. Best to leave the papers here and fill in in the answers on your return.

Goodbye then, says Roo-kai.

He goes into the back garden, where the blue tongue lizard eyes him beadily.

Which way is north? he asks the lizard.

The lizard indicates a southerly direction.

Roo-kai ascends, and flies south.

First Destroy Your Instructions

By the way, here is your packet, says Vello.

He hands Gaius the packet.

How did you persuade Victor to return it? asks Gaius.

I told him what the French words meant, says Vello. 

Directives Pour Espionner, says Gaius. Surely that only increased his suspicions?

Directions for the Brighton Hotel, says Vello. Also known as The Espy.

And he believed you? says Gaius.

Why not? says Vello. He knows I am French.

Can I have the Instructions? asks Terence.

Here, says Gaius. You're lucky Victor returned them so soon.

He hands Terence the packet.

Come on, Roo-kai, says Terence. I've got the Instructions.

Let me open the packet, says Roo-kai. 

He tries to open the packet, with his beak. 

But of course he can't do it.

That's why they gave the Instructions to me, says Terence. I'll open it.

He rips open the packet.

You ripped it in HALF! says Roo-kai.

That's good, says Terence. Spies have to destroy their Instructions.

Not before they've read them, says Roo-kai.

I know, says Terence. They're only in two pieces. We can put them together, read them, remember them and then destroy them, and it'll be easy because I've already done it.

Get the pieces out, says Roo-kai.

Terence pulls out the two halves of Instructions.

I'll look at this one, you look at that one, says Terence.

Okay, says Roo-kai. But you can't read, can you?

We can swap, after, says Terence.

He examines his half of the Instructions.

Half a map. And some letters and numbers. A few boxes.

Roo-kai meanwhile looks at his.

Half a map, and what looks like a half a series of multiple choice questions.

Roo-kai is disappointed with the simplistic nature of the French Government's methods of spying.

Spy Hotel

Terence doesn't need a quarantine bracelet, says Gaius. He is made of cement.

But I want one, says Terence.

You're getting one, says Victor, attaching a small bracelet to Terence's ankle. 

What about me? asks Roo-kai.

Birds don't get them, says Victor. 

Roo-kai can share mine, says Terence.

Good luck getting it off, says Victor.

Cup of tea? asks Gaius. That's if there are any teabags.

No thanks, says Victor. I'll be off now. I'll be keeping in touch.

When can I get my instructions back? asks Terence.

In due course, says Victor.

He turns to go.

Ding dong! 

Gaius's doorbell.

Who can that be? says Gaius. Probably Arthur.

He opens the door.

No, it's Vello.

Hello, says Vello. I've just dropped by to see how things are going.

You can't go in, says Victor. Gaius is home quarantining.

He may need some shopping done, says Vello.

I do! says Gaius. Would you be so kind as to wait while I make a shopping list?

Anything for a fellow team member, says Vello.

It must be nice to to have friends in high places, says Victor.

No need to be sniffy, says Vello. What's that you have there?

Evidence, says Victor, A so-called packet of instructions with French words on the cover.

Les Directives Pour Espionner.

May I open it? asks Vello.

Certainly not, says Victor. But you might like to give me a heads-up. What does it say?

Nothing of importance, says Vello. These are directions to the Espy.

What is the Espy? asks Victor.

You must know, says Vello. That hotel at Brighton, they call it the Espy. The Esplanade Hotel.

Is that all? says Victor. I was wise to have asked you. Wouldn't want to look like a numpty. 

No, you wouldn't, says Vello. Shall I return it to Gaius?

Please do, says Victor. 

He heads for his police van. Gets in. Drives away.

Gaius returns with his shopping list.

Just a few necessities, says Gaius. Will you go now?

Not yet, says Vello. I have something for you. I'm coming inside.

What about the home quarantine regulations? asks Gaius.

Did it ever occur to you, says Vello, that long-lived historical figures such as you and I are never going to catch covid?

No it didn't, says Gaius. I often get headaches and toothaches. Don't you?

The flux, on occasion, says Vello. But not deadly viruses. 

Gaius is not entirely convinced, but Vello seems determined, so he is allowed to come in.

Compassionate Strings

Roo-kai flies out of the Aldi, and back to the police van.

They shooed me out! says Roo-kai.

That was really bad spying, says Terence.

But I learned something, says Roo-kai.

What? asks Terence. 

The layout, says Roo-kai. The fridges are located along the north and east sides, and the checkout is on the west side, near the entrance.

Well, says Gaius. I call that good spying.

Thank you, says Roo-kai.

What's all this about spying? asks Victor. I thought you went in to do shopping.

I had no time to shop, says Roo-kai. But I saw where they keep the red fruit drinks.

Yay! says Terence. Can we go back and get some?

No, says Victor.

Apples? asks Gaius.

No, says Victor. We must go. I've a report to write, after I've dropped you.

Dropped us where? asks Gaius. Surely you can tell us where we're going?

All right, says Victor. Since we're so close. Your place.

I knew it! says Gaius. That's most acceptable.

You can thank your friend Vello, says Victor. He has pulled strings on your behalf.

Has he pulled strings on my half? asks Terence.

Not particularly, says Victor. But as an infant you could hardly be parted from your guardian.

Observe, Terence, says Gaius. An example of compassionate policing.

Everything we police do is compassionate, says Victor.

I don't doubt it, says Gaius. How about letting me pop into the Aldi to buy a few apples?

Get into the police van, says Victor.

Gaius, Terence and Roo-kai pile in.

Victor locks the door, gets in the front and starts driving. 

Gaius's house is not far up the road. 

Victor pulls up outside it, gets out, walks round to the back of the police van and unlocks the door.

Gaius jumps out, followed by Terence, and Roo-kai.

Hey! says Terence. I forgot the instructions! 

I can't let you back in the police van, says Victor. Where are they?

In a packet, says Terence. 

Victor climbs into the back of the police van, feels around on the floor.

Ah! a packet.

He emerges from the police van with the packet.

I shall have to seize this, says Victor. 

But it's MINE! cries Terence.

No, it's mine, says Roo-kai.

It has French words on the cover, says Victor. 

We've been in France, says Gaius.

Nevertheless, says Victor. It's evidence. When it's been examined, you may get it back.

It's a child's game, says Gaius.

That remains to be seen, says Victor. Let's go inside. I need to fit your home quarantine ankle bracelet.

Do I get one? asks Terence.

You do, says Victor. 

Imagine Terence's excitement.

Police Stop At The Shop

Victor is driving the police van.

Gaius, Terence and Roo-kai are locked in the back.

Where are we going? asks Terence.

I know not, says Gaius. 

I'm going to look at my instructions, says Terence.

MY instructions, says Roo-kai.

I wouldn't open them yet, says Gaius. 

What CAN I do? asks Terence.

Look out of the back window, says Gaius. See if you can tell where we're going.

Ha ha, laughs Terence. I'll only see where we've been.

Yes, says Gaius, but from that information you may be able to intuit....no never mind, I'll look out of the window.

He shifts to the back of the police van.

There is a rap on the front grille.

Victor wants something, says Terence.

I wonder what it is, says Gaius.

Victor pulls over, gets out of the police van and walks round to the back. He opens the door of the police van.

Where the dickens are we? asks Gaius.

Half way, says Victor. Don't move about in the police van.

Is that why you were knocking? asks Gaius.

Yes, says Victor. 

I was merely attempting to establish where we were going, says Gaius.

By looking through the back window? says Victor. Pull the other one. You were planning to signal.

Victor, says Gaius, I have no wish to signal.

Good, says Victor. Would you like to know where we're going?  

I would, says Gaius. My hope is that you're driving me home, where I'm quite willing to undergo seven days of quarantine. It would be nice though, since I've been away for some time, if you would stop at the shops.

Gaius, says Victor. I am a policeman. I can't stop at the shops in the middle of an operation.

There's a shop! cries Terence. It's true. Victor has stopped near an Aldi.

Not an Aldi, says Gaius. I can never find anything. And when I do it looks strange.

Tell me about it, says Victor.

I'll go, says Roo-kai. It will be good practice.

For spying! says Terence.

Before Victor can say no, or ask what sort of spying, Roo-kai has taken off from the back of the police van and flown into the Aldi. 

Does he have money? asks Victor.

What do you think? says Gaius.

They sit on the back step of the police van, and wait for Roo-kai to come out.