Diplomacy

Gaius looked at what he had written so far.

PHILOSOPHICAL ASPECTS OF WORM CATCHING: A BICYCLIST'S GUIDE

I am by nature a Stoic. A Stoic exhibits fortitude and self control, and keeps himself free from anger and jealousy.

I am here at the beach with my bicycle and a large glass jar, looking for sand worms.

Already I have encountered a multitude of difficulties and dealt with them satisfactorily. Let me explain:

My companion, an over-zealous female, brought poisonous sandwiches, expecting me to partake of them liberally. I picked out the worst of the filling, put it in my pocket, and ate the rest with an admirable equanimity.
Advice: Do not share food with a female companion.

The glass jar turned out to be superfluous, due to my having a wrong idea of the length of sand worms. It was in any case difficult to carry by bicycle.
Advice: Do not bring a glass jar.

Tomato turned out to be useful for drawing out worms.
Advice: Make use of tomato, but DO NOT EAT IT.

The drawn-out worm bit my female companion on the foot. This turned out to be a fortunate event as she began channelling the worm during the course of which I learned something interesting about their jaw formation.
Advice: Always bring a note book and pencil.

My female companion then began to take over. She insisted on dictating notes. She is no natural historian, no philosopher. Certainly no Stoic.
Advice: Do not listen to women.

I however did not do anything to disgrace my own philosophy. I merely insisted upon rewriting everything that she had come up with. I am the most diplomatic of men.
Advice: Be patient, and women will go away.