Irma and Emma's mum comes over from the campsite with two mugs of tea.
Tea, anyone? she says.
No thanks, dear, says dad.
Mum, says Irma, Lavender's upset.
Lavender? says mum. Who's Lavender?
Here, says Irma, pointing at red tear-stained Lavender on the drying table, next to bits of dried mud.
What happened? asks mum.
Her insides fell out, explains Irma.
That's not what happened, says Lavender, sniffing.
I see exactly what happened, says mum. Hold this tea, Arthur, I'll be back in a tick with some Blu Tack.
She leaves Arthur holding the two mugs of tea and goes over to the family Jeep. She comes back in a tick with the Blu Tack.
Now, Lavender, she says, just hold still.
She presses a small piece of Blu Tack into Lavender's space, and then eases it out.
Here's your insides for you, Lavender, says mum. And beautiful insides they are.
Lavender looks at the Blu Tack. It looks like a raised auger shell on a pebble, the reverse image of her.
Happy? says mum.
NO! wails Lavender. It's in danger.
What do you mean? asks mum. In danger of what?
Squashing, says Lavender.
Don't worry, says mum. We'll put it in a box. Now Arthur, do you want one of those teas?
No thank you, says Arthur.
Perhaps your friend over there? says mum.
He's no friend of mine, says Arthur.
Arthur! says mum. That sounded rude and dismissive!
But mum, says Emma, it's Monsieur Verlaine.
Oh, I see, says mum. I remember Monsieur Verlaine from before, at the caravan park. He disrupted the paddy melon bowls. He kicked them all out of the ring in a terrible temper. He must be under some sort of domestic pressure, or have employment issues. I'll take him a mug of tea.
She walks over to Paul Verlaine's Jeep, and taps on the window.
The window rolls down.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
The Existence of Others
Lavender thinks she must be in the Willoughby. If she is, someone should notice her soon.
The pebbles are agitated and discomposed.
Uh, uh, says Lavender in their general direction. Who's laughing now?
In a few minutes more, everyone is tipped out onto a table.
Lavender sees Irma's face looking down from above.
Is that you Lavender? says Irma. No, sorry, it's not.
Yes it is, says Lavender. Why is it not?
Because you look different, says Irma. Look at this, dad.
Irma's dad peers at Lavender.
I'm sorry? says Irma's dad. What am I looking at?
Oh, you didn't see her before, said Irma. Look at Lavender, Arthur. Look, Emma.
Emma and Arthur look at Lavender.
She is stained dirty red and her shell shape is filled with red mud.
You look really different, says Emma. But don't worry. We can give you a scrub.
I don't want a scrub, just let me get dry, says Lavender tearfully.
Stop crying then, says Arthur.
He sets Lavender down in the sun.
Her mud dries in minutes.
She feels crackly and tight.
Now, says Arthur, we'll get rid of that mud.
He holds Lavender upside down and taps her sharply on the table, until the dried mud drops out.
Oh look! says Emma. A dried mud shell shape.
She picks it up.
It crumbles to bits.
That was me, says Lavender.
Not really, says Arthur. It just looked like you.
It was me, says Lavender. It was more me than anything else, and it's broken.
Arthur, Irma, Emma and dad look at the broken dried bits of mud that once had been more Lavender than anything else.
They are all thinking the same thing.
Existence is complicated.
The pebbles are agitated and discomposed.
Uh, uh, says Lavender in their general direction. Who's laughing now?
In a few minutes more, everyone is tipped out onto a table.
Lavender sees Irma's face looking down from above.
Is that you Lavender? says Irma. No, sorry, it's not.
Yes it is, says Lavender. Why is it not?
Because you look different, says Irma. Look at this, dad.
Irma's dad peers at Lavender.
I'm sorry? says Irma's dad. What am I looking at?
Oh, you didn't see her before, said Irma. Look at Lavender, Arthur. Look, Emma.
Emma and Arthur look at Lavender.
She is stained dirty red and her shell shape is filled with red mud.
You look really different, says Emma. But don't worry. We can give you a scrub.
I don't want a scrub, just let me get dry, says Lavender tearfully.
Stop crying then, says Arthur.
He sets Lavender down in the sun.
Her mud dries in minutes.
She feels crackly and tight.
Now, says Arthur, we'll get rid of that mud.
He holds Lavender upside down and taps her sharply on the table, until the dried mud drops out.
Oh look! says Emma. A dried mud shell shape.
She picks it up.
It crumbles to bits.
That was me, says Lavender.
Not really, says Arthur. It just looked like you.
It was me, says Lavender. It was more me than anything else, and it's broken.
Arthur, Irma, Emma and dad look at the broken dried bits of mud that once had been more Lavender than anything else.
They are all thinking the same thing.
Existence is complicated.
Friday, September 28, 2012
The Disadvantage of Using A Willoughby
The First Terrible Thing was: Lavender overbalanced, and fell into the bucket of stones.
But was it so terrible? Surely all Lavender had to do was call out to Irma for help.
She was about to do that when the Second Terrible Thing happened.
The Second Terrible Thing was: Arthur dumped a full spade of dirt and stones on top of her, not realising she was there.
But was that so terrible? Surely Irma knew Lavender had fallen into the bucket.
She would have, but for the Third Terrible Thing.
Irma's dad shouted, Irma!
Irma's attention was diverted.
Irma turned towards her dad. (This was when Lavender was falling into the bucket).
What, dad? called Irma. (This was when Arthur was burying Lavender inadvertently).
Come over here a minute! said Irma's dad.
Irma went over to her dad, thinking he may have found a zircon.
.........
Lavender is buried under a layer of dirt and stones.
She can't breathe.
Luckily, she doesn't need to.
She looks around.
Dirt, stones, pebbles.
Some of the pebbles are jostling her.
Uh, uh, say the pebbles.
It's their way of mocking.
It's not funny, says Lavender.
Uh, uh.
Lavender wonders why, if she is an augur, she didn't know this was going to happen.
Lavender has an existential thought.
If she is just an empty space in a stone, might she not just as well be elsewhere?
She looks down at herself.
Her empty space is filled with dirt, there is no chance of moving.
She will have to remain where she is.
Uh, uh.
Suddenly, the bucket is lifted into the air. The contents, including Lavender and the mocking pebbles, are tipped into a sieve. The sieve is plunged into a Willoughby, and moved up and down in the water.
Lavender feels the dirt in her space turn to mud.
But was it so terrible? Surely all Lavender had to do was call out to Irma for help.
She was about to do that when the Second Terrible Thing happened.
The Second Terrible Thing was: Arthur dumped a full spade of dirt and stones on top of her, not realising she was there.
But was that so terrible? Surely Irma knew Lavender had fallen into the bucket.
She would have, but for the Third Terrible Thing.
Irma's dad shouted, Irma!
Irma's attention was diverted.
Irma turned towards her dad. (This was when Lavender was falling into the bucket).
What, dad? called Irma. (This was when Arthur was burying Lavender inadvertently).
Come over here a minute! said Irma's dad.
Irma went over to her dad, thinking he may have found a zircon.
.........
Lavender is buried under a layer of dirt and stones.
She can't breathe.
Luckily, she doesn't need to.
She looks around.
Dirt, stones, pebbles.
Some of the pebbles are jostling her.
Uh, uh, say the pebbles.
It's their way of mocking.
It's not funny, says Lavender.
Uh, uh.
Lavender wonders why, if she is an augur, she didn't know this was going to happen.
Lavender has an existential thought.
If she is just an empty space in a stone, might she not just as well be elsewhere?
She looks down at herself.
Her empty space is filled with dirt, there is no chance of moving.
She will have to remain where she is.
Uh, uh.
Suddenly, the bucket is lifted into the air. The contents, including Lavender and the mocking pebbles, are tipped into a sieve. The sieve is plunged into a Willoughby, and moved up and down in the water.
Lavender feels the dirt in her space turn to mud.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Advantages of Using a Willoughby
Arthur turned.
It was Irma. And Emma, her twin.
Hi Arthur! said Irma. We're camping next to Sonny's Dunny, with our mum and dad. Dad's dug down to the washline. That's where you find the right stones.
And we've got a Willoughby, said Emma.
Have you? said Arthur. What's that?
It's this cool water sieve, said.Emma. You move the sieve up and down in a bucket of water, using a vertical pivot and a horizontal arm.
That sounds very useful, said Arthur. But right now we have nothing to sieve.
Come back with us! said Irma. Just you, Arthur, not him, she added, indicating Paul Verlaine.
Paul looked daggers at Irma, and went to sit in his Jeep. He poured himself a large absinthe and sugar, which he had brought in a flask, and took out his O Arthur notes.
Arthur and Lavender walked over to Sonny's Dunny with the twins, and the bucket.
Now we're sure to find a zircon, said Lavender.
Oh yes, said Emma, you are. And zircons are so lovely. They can be orange, brown, pink, purple or yellow, and some of them are even multi-coloured.
Wow, breathed Lavender. How magical!
Yeah, said Irma, and you can find other things too. Agate, jasper, tourmaline, garnets, even gold nuggets sometimes.
Get digging Arthur, said Lavender. You might find some of those.
Arthur got digging with Irma and Emma's dad's spade.
Soon the bucket was half full of dirt, pebbles and stones.
Lavender was excited. She wanted to look at the stones, but she couldn't see into the bucket.
She climbed up a dirt heap and tried to look down into the bucket.
What are you doing? asked Irma.
I want to see, said Lavender.
I'll help you, said Irma.
She picked Lavender up and balanced her on the rim of the bucket.
Ooh! said Lavender. Ahh.
And then something terrible happened.
Followed almost immediately by another terrible thing.
It was Irma. And Emma, her twin.
Hi Arthur! said Irma. We're camping next to Sonny's Dunny, with our mum and dad. Dad's dug down to the washline. That's where you find the right stones.
And we've got a Willoughby, said Emma.
Have you? said Arthur. What's that?
It's this cool water sieve, said.Emma. You move the sieve up and down in a bucket of water, using a vertical pivot and a horizontal arm.
That sounds very useful, said Arthur. But right now we have nothing to sieve.
Come back with us! said Irma. Just you, Arthur, not him, she added, indicating Paul Verlaine.
Paul looked daggers at Irma, and went to sit in his Jeep. He poured himself a large absinthe and sugar, which he had brought in a flask, and took out his O Arthur notes.
Arthur and Lavender walked over to Sonny's Dunny with the twins, and the bucket.
Now we're sure to find a zircon, said Lavender.
Oh yes, said Emma, you are. And zircons are so lovely. They can be orange, brown, pink, purple or yellow, and some of them are even multi-coloured.
Wow, breathed Lavender. How magical!
Yeah, said Irma, and you can find other things too. Agate, jasper, tourmaline, garnets, even gold nuggets sometimes.
Get digging Arthur, said Lavender. You might find some of those.
Arthur got digging with Irma and Emma's dad's spade.
Soon the bucket was half full of dirt, pebbles and stones.
Lavender was excited. She wanted to look at the stones, but she couldn't see into the bucket.
She climbed up a dirt heap and tried to look down into the bucket.
What are you doing? asked Irma.
I want to see, said Lavender.
I'll help you, said Irma.
She picked Lavender up and balanced her on the rim of the bucket.
Ooh! said Lavender. Ahh.
And then something terrible happened.
Followed almost immediately by another terrible thing.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
The Proper Equipment
Paul Verlaine walked over to his Jeep and came back with a scraping tool.
That's not a knife, said Arthur, looking at the scraping tool.
No, but this is! said Paul, whipping out a knife that had been concealed in his pocket.
Goody! said Lavender. Give it to Arthur.
Shall I give it to you, Arthur? asked Paul, sharply. Do you want it?
He thrust the pointy end of the knife towards Arthur.
No, said Arthur. Give me the scraping tool.
He took the scraping tool and began scraping the hard red dirt.
You'll find nothing, said Paul. Like me.
Use your knife said Lavender. You'll find something. I see the future. I know.
Do you see Arthur's future? asked Paul.
He'll find a zircon, said Lavender.
I see Arthur's future, said Paul Verlaine darkly.
No you don't, said Arthur.
Have you changed? asked Paul. Tell me how.
I don't know how, said Arthur. It isn't like me to help people. Natural historians, stones, lobsters. They don't need help. I slope off but I don't get away. Look at me now. Here I am scraping dirt in the outback, when I'm meant to be learning to surf. Someone's rewriting my life.
Not necessarily, said Paul. Come back to me.
No, said Arthur. We're finished. I'm not writing poems any more.
I am, said Paul. Arthur, O Arthur.....
That's not very good, said Arthur.
I know that, said Paul. What's going to happen to me?
You'll find a zircon, said Lavender.
Arthur will find a zircon, said Paul.
Two zircons, said Lavender. One zircon each. Now dig!
Paul and Arthur bent over and scratched in the dirt.
You'll never find anything digging like that! said a voice, behind them. You need to dig down to the washline!
And you don't have a Willoughby! Geez!
That's not a knife, said Arthur, looking at the scraping tool.
No, but this is! said Paul, whipping out a knife that had been concealed in his pocket.
Goody! said Lavender. Give it to Arthur.
Shall I give it to you, Arthur? asked Paul, sharply. Do you want it?
He thrust the pointy end of the knife towards Arthur.
No, said Arthur. Give me the scraping tool.
He took the scraping tool and began scraping the hard red dirt.
You'll find nothing, said Paul. Like me.
Use your knife said Lavender. You'll find something. I see the future. I know.
Do you see Arthur's future? asked Paul.
He'll find a zircon, said Lavender.
I see Arthur's future, said Paul Verlaine darkly.
No you don't, said Arthur.
Have you changed? asked Paul. Tell me how.
I don't know how, said Arthur. It isn't like me to help people. Natural historians, stones, lobsters. They don't need help. I slope off but I don't get away. Look at me now. Here I am scraping dirt in the outback, when I'm meant to be learning to surf. Someone's rewriting my life.
Not necessarily, said Paul. Come back to me.
No, said Arthur. We're finished. I'm not writing poems any more.
I am, said Paul. Arthur, O Arthur.....
That's not very good, said Arthur.
I know that, said Paul. What's going to happen to me?
You'll find a zircon, said Lavender.
Arthur will find a zircon, said Paul.
Two zircons, said Lavender. One zircon each. Now dig!
Paul and Arthur bent over and scratched in the dirt.
You'll never find anything digging like that! said a voice, behind them. You need to dig down to the washline!
And you don't have a Willoughby! Geez!
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Designated Fossicking Land
Arthur cycled down the road till he came to the broken windmill and tank, turned right down the gravel track, and rode till he came to a gate that led to the Designated Fossicking Land.
Here will do, said Arthur to Lavender. Get down.
He helped Lavender down.
Now what? asked Lavender.
Pick up stones, said Arthur. Put them in the bucket.
I can't do it, said Lavender. I'm too little.
You'll just have to watch me, said Arthur. If I find a zircon, I'll give it to you.
He started picking up stones, but immediately saw that they had already been picked over.
You should have brought the knife, said Lavender. Then you could dig.
A Jeep pulled up behind them.
Paul Verlaine got out.
Paul Verlaine! exclaimed Arthur. It's you! What's happened to your hair?
Lost it all, said Paul Verlaine. I blame you.
Hardly, said Arthur. You were always tearing it out.
And why was that? said Paul, his voice rising. You left me!
You shot me in the wrist, said Arthur. Remember? And my mother had to come and take me home.
You provoked it, said Paul.
Stop fighting, said Lavender.
Who is this? asked Paul Verlaine.
Lavender, said Arthur. We're fossicking. But we don't have a knife.
I have a knife, said Paul, menacingly.
Did you say that menacingly? asked Arthur derisively.
Did you say that derisively? snapped Paul.
They glared at one another.
Arthur, said Lavender. Don't you get it? He's going to lend us his knife.
Here will do, said Arthur to Lavender. Get down.
He helped Lavender down.
Now what? asked Lavender.
Pick up stones, said Arthur. Put them in the bucket.
I can't do it, said Lavender. I'm too little.
You'll just have to watch me, said Arthur. If I find a zircon, I'll give it to you.
He started picking up stones, but immediately saw that they had already been picked over.
You should have brought the knife, said Lavender. Then you could dig.
A Jeep pulled up behind them.
Paul Verlaine got out.
Paul Verlaine! exclaimed Arthur. It's you! What's happened to your hair?
Lost it all, said Paul Verlaine. I blame you.
Hardly, said Arthur. You were always tearing it out.
And why was that? said Paul, his voice rising. You left me!
You shot me in the wrist, said Arthur. Remember? And my mother had to come and take me home.
You provoked it, said Paul.
Stop fighting, said Lavender.
Who is this? asked Paul Verlaine.
Lavender, said Arthur. We're fossicking. But we don't have a knife.
I have a knife, said Paul, menacingly.
Did you say that menacingly? asked Arthur derisively.
Did you say that derisively? snapped Paul.
They glared at one another.
Arthur, said Lavender. Don't you get it? He's going to lend us his knife.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Absinthe and Sugar
Paul Verlaine was in his cabin sulking. He was on his third glass of absinthe and sugar. The green fairy had him in her power.
Mathilde had only had one glass of absinthe. She put down her glass and looked out of the window, at the door to the manager's office.
She saw Arthur ride up and stop.
I'm just going out for some milk, she told Paul. Please don't drink any more while I'm gone.
Armrrr, growled Paul. Arrmmmrrrr.
He picked up a pen and tried to smooth out a piece of crumpled notepaper on which he had been attempting a poem.
Arthur, O, Arthur, went the poem.
It was not yet a very good poem.
Mathilde arrived at the door of the office and listened.
Arthur was being handed a bucket. He took it, and turned. It was certainly him.
He.
Mathilde ducked behind the door, as Arthur came out with the bucket.
Guess what? said Arthur, to the wire basket on the back of his bike.
What? asked the wire basket, or so it seemed to Mathilde.
We're going fosseeking! said Arthur. For free!
Yippee! said the wire basket happily.
Arthur rode off down the track.
I must give up drinking absinthe, said Mathilde. I'm starting to hear things after only one glass.
She walked back to the cabin.
Paul Verlaine was not there.
Which was, in a way, lucky, because she'd forgotten the milk.
Mathilde had only had one glass of absinthe. She put down her glass and looked out of the window, at the door to the manager's office.
She saw Arthur ride up and stop.
I'm just going out for some milk, she told Paul. Please don't drink any more while I'm gone.
Armrrr, growled Paul. Arrmmmrrrr.
He picked up a pen and tried to smooth out a piece of crumpled notepaper on which he had been attempting a poem.
Arthur, O, Arthur, went the poem.
It was not yet a very good poem.
Mathilde arrived at the door of the office and listened.
Arthur was being handed a bucket. He took it, and turned. It was certainly him.
He.
Mathilde ducked behind the door, as Arthur came out with the bucket.
Guess what? said Arthur, to the wire basket on the back of his bike.
What? asked the wire basket, or so it seemed to Mathilde.
We're going fosseeking! said Arthur. For free!
Yippee! said the wire basket happily.
Arthur rode off down the track.
I must give up drinking absinthe, said Mathilde. I'm starting to hear things after only one glass.
She walked back to the cabin.
Paul Verlaine was not there.
Which was, in a way, lucky, because she'd forgotten the milk.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Masquerading as a Catch
I found this object in your billabong, said Paul Verlaine, holding up the lifeless carapace, legs and claws. It was lurking in your billabong, masquerading as a catch! Outrageous!
Paul! said Mathilde. Please calm yourself!
Yes, calm yourself, Monsieur, said the manager. I can explain exactly how it got there. Believe me it's not something we encourage, but a distressed lobster turned up last week accompanied by a young poet. What else could I do but offer him the convenience of my billabong in which to moult?
Young poet? said Paul Verlaine, heavily.
No, not the young poet, said the manager. It was his lobster that was moulting.
What? snapped Paul Verlaine. His lobster? No, you fool, that was not what I was asking. Describe this young poet to me.
His name was Arthur Rimbaud, his hair was wild and both his knees were scabby, said the manager. He was very good with children. He let them win the bowls. Is he a friend of yours?
You could say that, said Paul Verlaine, And then again.....
....you couldn't, said Mathilde.
You may be in luck, said the manager. I'm just about to put a note on our gate asking him to drop into the office. He has been very kindly treated to a free fossick by Dr Yates, the curator of Earth Sciences at the Museum of Central Australia. Not just Arthur but his friend as well.
The moulted lobster? asked Paul Verlaine.
I don't think so, said the manager. A different friend. A she.
A SHE! cried Paul Verlaine. Insupportable!
He turned on his heel and walked out of the door.
Excuse my husband, said Mathilde. He is very sensitive.
Sensitive, said the manager. Yes. We are used to all types here. Don't worry, Madame Verlaine. Now excuse me, I must write this note.
Mathilde thought about the import of the note. Arthur and his female friend would soon be turning up. It would be better if this did not happen. She could follow the manager and remove the note. But what if Arthur turned up anyway? She must warn him with another note. What would she write?
She composed the words in her head. Now how did one spell Fossiquing?
Paul! said Mathilde. Please calm yourself!
Yes, calm yourself, Monsieur, said the manager. I can explain exactly how it got there. Believe me it's not something we encourage, but a distressed lobster turned up last week accompanied by a young poet. What else could I do but offer him the convenience of my billabong in which to moult?
Young poet? said Paul Verlaine, heavily.
No, not the young poet, said the manager. It was his lobster that was moulting.
What? snapped Paul Verlaine. His lobster? No, you fool, that was not what I was asking. Describe this young poet to me.
His name was Arthur Rimbaud, his hair was wild and both his knees were scabby, said the manager. He was very good with children. He let them win the bowls. Is he a friend of yours?
You could say that, said Paul Verlaine, And then again.....
....you couldn't, said Mathilde.
You may be in luck, said the manager. I'm just about to put a note on our gate asking him to drop into the office. He has been very kindly treated to a free fossick by Dr Yates, the curator of Earth Sciences at the Museum of Central Australia. Not just Arthur but his friend as well.
The moulted lobster? asked Paul Verlaine.
I don't think so, said the manager. A different friend. A she.
A SHE! cried Paul Verlaine. Insupportable!
He turned on his heel and walked out of the door.
Excuse my husband, said Mathilde. He is very sensitive.
Sensitive, said the manager. Yes. We are used to all types here. Don't worry, Madame Verlaine. Now excuse me, I must write this note.
Mathilde thought about the import of the note. Arthur and his female friend would soon be turning up. It would be better if this did not happen. She could follow the manager and remove the note. But what if Arthur turned up anyway? She must warn him with another note. What would she write?
She composed the words in her head. Now how did one spell Fossiquing?
It Yet May Not Be He
As we know, Paul Verlaine had earlier returned to the Gemtree Caravan Park.
He had been persuaded by Mathilde to try his hand again at fishing in the billabong.
You may have better luck this time, his wife had said.
To which Paul had replied that he did not for a moment suppose he would.
He nevertheless dropped a line into the billabong.
He felt a tug. He reeled it in.
Curses! It was nothing but a discarded lobster carapace, complete with dangling legs and claws.
Disgusted, he carried it dripping to the office, Mathilde trailing anxiously behind.
Just what exactly do you call this? he demanded of the manager.
Excuse me one moment, said the manager. I'm on the phone.
And so it was that Paul and Mathilde Verlaine heard the following :
Sorry, Dr Yates, said the manager. Now what was that again? Arthur Rimbaud? No, he left on Saturday. Oh, he's coming back? No? He isn't? Fossicking. Of course, but the charge is thirty dollars. Why that's very generous of you Dr Yates. On your Bankcard?. Certainly. But if he rides straight past, and doesn't come in? A note? On the fence. He might not see it. Well, I'll try. What? Is there something else? A lobster carapace and claws? I'll have a look....Goodbye then, Dr Yates. Drop in on your way home.
Paul Verlaine's face had turned as purple as garnet. His handsome bald head shone with beads of sweat.
Arthur Rimbaud! he muttered. Here?
Calm yourself, Paul, said Mathilde. It yet may not be him.
He, said Paul Verlaine. It yet may not be he.
Now then, said the manager, what seems to be the problem, Monsieur Verlaine? By crikey, what's that you have there?
He had been persuaded by Mathilde to try his hand again at fishing in the billabong.
You may have better luck this time, his wife had said.
To which Paul had replied that he did not for a moment suppose he would.
He nevertheless dropped a line into the billabong.
He felt a tug. He reeled it in.
Curses! It was nothing but a discarded lobster carapace, complete with dangling legs and claws.
Disgusted, he carried it dripping to the office, Mathilde trailing anxiously behind.
Just what exactly do you call this? he demanded of the manager.
Excuse me one moment, said the manager. I'm on the phone.
And so it was that Paul and Mathilde Verlaine heard the following :
Sorry, Dr Yates, said the manager. Now what was that again? Arthur Rimbaud? No, he left on Saturday. Oh, he's coming back? No? He isn't? Fossicking. Of course, but the charge is thirty dollars. Why that's very generous of you Dr Yates. On your Bankcard?. Certainly. But if he rides straight past, and doesn't come in? A note? On the fence. He might not see it. Well, I'll try. What? Is there something else? A lobster carapace and claws? I'll have a look....Goodbye then, Dr Yates. Drop in on your way home.
Paul Verlaine's face had turned as purple as garnet. His handsome bald head shone with beads of sweat.
Arthur Rimbaud! he muttered. Here?
Calm yourself, Paul, said Mathilde. It yet may not be him.
He, said Paul Verlaine. It yet may not be he.
Now then, said the manager, what seems to be the problem, Monsieur Verlaine? By crikey, what's that you have there?
Friday, September 21, 2012
Someone Thinks The Word is French
Arthur was going to ride straight past the gate to Gemtree Caravan Park, Lavender could tell. He wasn't slowing down.
Stop, Arthur! said Lavender. There's something hanging on the fence.
Arthur stopped reluctantly.
He leaned towards the fence to get a closer look at what it was.
It was a lobster claw, which had been used by someone as a clip to hold a note.
That lobster claw looks familiar, said Arthur. But what's it doing here?
Why don't you read the note, said Lavender.
There's two notes, said Arthur. The top one says: No Arthur! You must not think of Fossiquing! There is great danger for you here.
Wow! said Lavender. Danger! And did you say fosseeking?
No, fossiquing, said Arthur. As if someone thinks the word is French.
What does the underneath note say? asked Lavender.
It's torn, said Arthur, but this part says: To Arthur Rimbaud. If you are passing, please drop in to the office . Your friends have... then it's been torn off.
What are we going to do? asked Lavender.
What do you want to do? asked Arthur.
Are you scared of danger? asked Lavender.
Never in my life, said Arthur.
Let's go fosseeking, said Lavender.
Stop, Arthur! said Lavender. There's something hanging on the fence.
Arthur stopped reluctantly.
He leaned towards the fence to get a closer look at what it was.
It was a lobster claw, which had been used by someone as a clip to hold a note.
That lobster claw looks familiar, said Arthur. But what's it doing here?
Why don't you read the note, said Lavender.
There's two notes, said Arthur. The top one says: No Arthur! You must not think of Fossiquing! There is great danger for you here.
Wow! said Lavender. Danger! And did you say fosseeking?
No, fossiquing, said Arthur. As if someone thinks the word is French.
What does the underneath note say? asked Lavender.
It's torn, said Arthur, but this part says: To Arthur Rimbaud. If you are passing, please drop in to the office . Your friends have... then it's been torn off.
What are we going to do? asked Lavender.
What do you want to do? asked Arthur.
Are you scared of danger? asked Lavender.
Never in my life, said Arthur.
Let's go fosseeking, said Lavender.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
You Cried and Cried
That story is not about my real future, said Arthur.
It might be, said Lavender.
It couldn't be, said Arthur. And this is why. . How could I be riding alone, and then dream you up, when you were already here, travelling with me in a wire basket?
You could have chosen the past, said Lavender.
Then what would have happened? asked Arthur.
I would have told you a story about when you were a little baby, said Lavender.
Tell it to me now, said Arthur.
You cried and cried, said Lavender.
Not when I was a little baby, said Arthur. Not ever in fact.
You don't remember, said Lavender.
Nor do you, said Arthur.
Arthur rode on in silence.
It's hard for me, said Lavender.
What is? asked Arthur.
To make up a story, said Lavender. Not much has happened to me.
Where do you come from? asked Arthur.
The window sill, said Lavender.
But before, said Arthur. You must have lived on the coast.
I've been to the coast, said Lavender. I went on the bus, with a poet.
A poet? said Arthur. Which one?
Rabbie Burns, said Lavender. He was made out of stone. He told me a story. He hadn't got any boots.
You mean Robert Burns? said Arthur. The Scottish Bard? Why hadn't he got any boots?
He fell off his plinth, I think, said Lavender. Or maybe he just walked away.
So he was a statue? said Arthur. He walked away from his boots?
He walked right out of them, said Lavender. And onto the bus.
That is quite a good story, said Arthur.
Thank you, Arthur, said Lavender.
And so the time passed pleasantly, until they came to the gate of the Gemtree Caravan Park. No Jeeps were entering or leaving at that moment , but something had been hung on the fence.
It might be, said Lavender.
It couldn't be, said Arthur. And this is why. . How could I be riding alone, and then dream you up, when you were already here, travelling with me in a wire basket?
You could have chosen the past, said Lavender.
Then what would have happened? asked Arthur.
I would have told you a story about when you were a little baby, said Lavender.
Tell it to me now, said Arthur.
You cried and cried, said Lavender.
Not when I was a little baby, said Arthur. Not ever in fact.
You don't remember, said Lavender.
Nor do you, said Arthur.
Arthur rode on in silence.
It's hard for me, said Lavender.
What is? asked Arthur.
To make up a story, said Lavender. Not much has happened to me.
Where do you come from? asked Arthur.
The window sill, said Lavender.
But before, said Arthur. You must have lived on the coast.
I've been to the coast, said Lavender. I went on the bus, with a poet.
A poet? said Arthur. Which one?
Rabbie Burns, said Lavender. He was made out of stone. He told me a story. He hadn't got any boots.
You mean Robert Burns? said Arthur. The Scottish Bard? Why hadn't he got any boots?
He fell off his plinth, I think, said Lavender. Or maybe he just walked away.
So he was a statue? said Arthur. He walked away from his boots?
He walked right out of them, said Lavender. And onto the bus.
That is quite a good story, said Arthur.
Thank you, Arthur, said Lavender.
And so the time passed pleasantly, until they came to the gate of the Gemtree Caravan Park. No Jeeps were entering or leaving at that moment , but something had been hung on the fence.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Pointed
I've chosen, said Arthur.
Past or future? said Lavender.
Future, said Arthur.
I knew you'd choose that, said Lavender.
That's easy to say, said Arthur.
Well this is the story, said Lavender. There was a handsome young man, whose name was Arthur. He had a sore knee. He was riding a bicycle along a dusty red road on a very hot day, all by himself.
Where are you? asked Arthur.
I'm not in it yet, said Lavender. It's the future. He was riding along by himself . It was hot. He came to a gate, and there was a sign on the gate. The sign said Fossicking Here! The young man went riding past, because he didn't want to go fossicking, and he didn't have anyone with him who wanted to go fossicking.
Such as you, said Arthur.
Such as me, said Lavender.
Then, she continued, the young man had a dream.
I thought he was riding a bicycle, said Arthur.
A dream, said Lavender, while he was riding his bicycle. In the dream, a tiny beautiful girl appeared, her name was Lavender. He stopped. She said You are handsome. Would you like to go fossicking with me? He said, No, and I don't like girls. She said, you would like me though. I am very good at fossicking, so good I have even won prizes.
Lavender, said Arthur. Do you know what fossicking is?
You need a bucket, said Lavender.
But you don't win prizes, said Arthur.
It's the future, said Lavender. And I'm an augur.
That's just a type of shell, said Arthur.
Then why's it called an augur? said Lavender.
Because it's pointed, said Arthur.
At the future, said Lavender.
Arthur couldn't argue with that.
Past or future? said Lavender.
Future, said Arthur.
I knew you'd choose that, said Lavender.
That's easy to say, said Arthur.
Well this is the story, said Lavender. There was a handsome young man, whose name was Arthur. He had a sore knee. He was riding a bicycle along a dusty red road on a very hot day, all by himself.
Where are you? asked Arthur.
I'm not in it yet, said Lavender. It's the future. He was riding along by himself . It was hot. He came to a gate, and there was a sign on the gate. The sign said Fossicking Here! The young man went riding past, because he didn't want to go fossicking, and he didn't have anyone with him who wanted to go fossicking.
Such as you, said Arthur.
Such as me, said Lavender.
Then, she continued, the young man had a dream.
I thought he was riding a bicycle, said Arthur.
A dream, said Lavender, while he was riding his bicycle. In the dream, a tiny beautiful girl appeared, her name was Lavender. He stopped. She said You are handsome. Would you like to go fossicking with me? He said, No, and I don't like girls. She said, you would like me though. I am very good at fossicking, so good I have even won prizes.
Lavender, said Arthur. Do you know what fossicking is?
You need a bucket, said Lavender.
But you don't win prizes, said Arthur.
It's the future, said Lavender. And I'm an augur.
That's just a type of shell, said Arthur.
Then why's it called an augur? said Lavender.
Because it's pointed, said Arthur.
At the future, said Lavender.
Arthur couldn't argue with that.
Monday, September 17, 2012
The Past Or The Future?
Dr Yates looked in his wallet.
It was just as he thought.
I don't have sixty dollars on me, he said. Only thirty. So Arthur can't go.
Arthur didn't like that.
We're going, he said. Where's the repair kit?
Oh goody, said Lavender. When?
Right now, said Arthur.
It's the middle of the night, said Marigold. Wait till morning at least.
So Arthur and Lavender waited until morning.
.......
It was Sunday morning at last. The bicycle tyre was repaired. Arthur had a bottle of water in his pocket, provided by Marigold Brick. Lavender was in the wire basket.
Arthur and Lavender set off.
Bye, Baby Pierre! Bye, Ouvert! said Lavender as she receded.
They are so jealous, she said.
I don't think they are, said Arthur.
They can't go fossicking, said Lavender.
Neither can you, said Arthur. We don't have the money.
Then we won't pay, said Lavender.
That's true, said Arthur. Do you want to know why?
Why? asked Lavender.
Because we're not even going, said Arthur.
But we have a knife, said Lavender.
No, we don't have a knife, said Arthur. I left it with Gaius. He needs it.
Huh! said Lavender. So where are we going?
Nowhere, said Arthur. Away.
That's not fair, said Lavender. Why did you bring me?
Company, said Arthur. You were the most interesting one there.
Me? said Lavender. Why was I?
You act young, said Arthur, but you must be a million years old. What's your story?
No story, said Lavender. I'm a space in the shape of a shell.
Everyone has a story, said Arthur.
I'll tell you a story, said Lavender. It will be about you. Do you want the past or the future? I'm an augur, you know.
Did he want the past or the future? Arthur thought hard about that.
It was just as he thought.
I don't have sixty dollars on me, he said. Only thirty. So Arthur can't go.
Arthur didn't like that.
We're going, he said. Where's the repair kit?
Oh goody, said Lavender. When?
Right now, said Arthur.
It's the middle of the night, said Marigold. Wait till morning at least.
So Arthur and Lavender waited until morning.
.......
It was Sunday morning at last. The bicycle tyre was repaired. Arthur had a bottle of water in his pocket, provided by Marigold Brick. Lavender was in the wire basket.
Arthur and Lavender set off.
Bye, Baby Pierre! Bye, Ouvert! said Lavender as she receded.
They are so jealous, she said.
I don't think they are, said Arthur.
They can't go fossicking, said Lavender.
Neither can you, said Arthur. We don't have the money.
Then we won't pay, said Lavender.
That's true, said Arthur. Do you want to know why?
Why? asked Lavender.
Because we're not even going, said Arthur.
But we have a knife, said Lavender.
No, we don't have a knife, said Arthur. I left it with Gaius. He needs it.
Huh! said Lavender. So where are we going?
Nowhere, said Arthur. Away.
That's not fair, said Lavender. Why did you bring me?
Company, said Arthur. You were the most interesting one there.
Me? said Lavender. Why was I?
You act young, said Arthur, but you must be a million years old. What's your story?
No story, said Lavender. I'm a space in the shape of a shell.
Everyone has a story, said Arthur.
I'll tell you a story, said Lavender. It will be about you. Do you want the past or the future? I'm an augur, you know.
Did he want the past or the future? Arthur thought hard about that.
A Sacrifice for Science
You can't sacrifice your claws for science! said Baby Pierre.
Why not? said Ageless. It would be a good deed.
Your first one, said Baby Pierre. But it's cruel and horrible. How will you eat without claws?
Ooh, Ageless! said Lavender. No claws! You'll look ugly. Will they ever grow back?
Ageless waggled his handsome new claws at Lavender, and Baby Pierre.
Not these ones, you ning nongs, he said.
Arthur twigged it at last.
Ah! said Arthur. I know! The ones in the billabong. The ones you cast off.
Exactly, said Ageless. How much, Dr Yates?
I think Lavender's suggestion is reasonable, said Dr Yates. Thirty dollars it is.
Yay! said Lavender, we can go fossicking!
Wait a minute, said Ageless. Whose money is it?
You said it would be a good deed, said Lavender. Don't you want to go fossicking?
No, said Ageless. Does anyone?
I do, said Arthur. And I have a knife.
Arthur and me, said Lavender. And we have a knife!
But no money or transport, said Ageless.
It looked like a stalemate, but no.
If you double the price, said Arthur to Ageless, Lavender and I will go back on the bike. You keep thirty dollars, and give us thirty dollars, we'll go fossicking, pick up the claws from the billabong, and you can pick us up on your way through.
An excellent plan, agreed Dr Yates. Except for the doubling of price.
And the bicycle has a flat tyre, said Gaius.
No problem, said Marigold Brick. I have a bicycle repair kit in the Jeep, and I'm sure Dr Yates will cough up.
Why not? said Ageless. It would be a good deed.
Your first one, said Baby Pierre. But it's cruel and horrible. How will you eat without claws?
Ooh, Ageless! said Lavender. No claws! You'll look ugly. Will they ever grow back?
Ageless waggled his handsome new claws at Lavender, and Baby Pierre.
Not these ones, you ning nongs, he said.
Arthur twigged it at last.
Ah! said Arthur. I know! The ones in the billabong. The ones you cast off.
Exactly, said Ageless. How much, Dr Yates?
I think Lavender's suggestion is reasonable, said Dr Yates. Thirty dollars it is.
Yay! said Lavender, we can go fossicking!
Wait a minute, said Ageless. Whose money is it?
You said it would be a good deed, said Lavender. Don't you want to go fossicking?
No, said Ageless. Does anyone?
I do, said Arthur. And I have a knife.
Arthur and me, said Lavender. And we have a knife!
But no money or transport, said Ageless.
It looked like a stalemate, but no.
If you double the price, said Arthur to Ageless, Lavender and I will go back on the bike. You keep thirty dollars, and give us thirty dollars, we'll go fossicking, pick up the claws from the billabong, and you can pick us up on your way through.
An excellent plan, agreed Dr Yates. Except for the doubling of price.
And the bicycle has a flat tyre, said Gaius.
No problem, said Marigold Brick. I have a bicycle repair kit in the Jeep, and I'm sure Dr Yates will cough up.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Thirty Pieces of Silver
The campfire was roaring. Billy can tea flowed like wine. And Marigold had brought energy chocolate.
Dr Yates was thinking about Arthur's story and the actions of the queen.
Is it actually possible to clap while flat on your back balancing on your elbows? he asked.
Let's see, said Marigold Brick.
She lay flat on her back with her legs in the air.
Ageless craned forward, regretting that Marigold wore trousers.
Marigold jammed her elbows close to her body and attempted to clap.
It was possible, but not with the palms. Her fingers made a flopping sound, that had little authority.
You see, said Dr Yates.
I don't see, said Marigold. The queen may have had longer arms.
Let's ask Arthur, said Gaius. Arthur, what size arms do you see on the queen?
Middle sized, said Arthur.
That's not funny, sniffed Gaius. You know I am still disappointed.
What about? said Arthur.
My Middle Sized Claws, said Gaius.
Don't be sad, said Lavender.
Yes, cheer up, Gaius, said Marigold. Have some energy chocolate.
I have Middle Sized Claws, said Ageless. I've never been disappointed.
Your claws are magnificent, said Dr Yates. That reminds me, I want them for something. I mean, I want YOU, he corrected himself quickly.
I'm busy, said Ageless. Very busy.
It will just be for a few days, said Dr Yates persuasively. I'm making a film about claws.
Not mine, said Ageless. Unless.......How much would you pay for my claws?
Thirty dollars, suggested Lavender.
Keep out of it Lavender, said Baby Pierre. Ageless, you CAN'T!
Dr Yates was thinking about Arthur's story and the actions of the queen.
Is it actually possible to clap while flat on your back balancing on your elbows? he asked.
Let's see, said Marigold Brick.
She lay flat on her back with her legs in the air.
Ageless craned forward, regretting that Marigold wore trousers.
Marigold jammed her elbows close to her body and attempted to clap.
It was possible, but not with the palms. Her fingers made a flopping sound, that had little authority.
You see, said Dr Yates.
I don't see, said Marigold. The queen may have had longer arms.
Let's ask Arthur, said Gaius. Arthur, what size arms do you see on the queen?
Middle sized, said Arthur.
That's not funny, sniffed Gaius. You know I am still disappointed.
What about? said Arthur.
My Middle Sized Claws, said Gaius.
Don't be sad, said Lavender.
Yes, cheer up, Gaius, said Marigold. Have some energy chocolate.
I have Middle Sized Claws, said Ageless. I've never been disappointed.
Your claws are magnificent, said Dr Yates. That reminds me, I want them for something. I mean, I want YOU, he corrected himself quickly.
I'm busy, said Ageless. Very busy.
It will just be for a few days, said Dr Yates persuasively. I'm making a film about claws.
Not mine, said Ageless. Unless.......How much would you pay for my claws?
Thirty dollars, suggested Lavender.
Keep out of it Lavender, said Baby Pierre. Ageless, you CAN'T!
Blood Will Out
I thought you'd be pleased to see me, said Arthur.
I am! cried Lavender.
That's nice. At least somebody is, said Arthur.
Have you got thirty dollars, Arthur? asked Lavender. We want to go fossicking.
No, said Arthur. I haven't.
Dr Yates finished measuring the two Giant Claws.
I have good news and bad news, he said. These are actually Middle Sized Claws.
Was that the good news? asked Gaius.
No, that was the bad news, said Dr Yates. It means they aren't very important.
Gaius looked crestfallen.
The good news, said Dr Marigold Brick, is you might as well take them both home.
But Gaius did not brighten up.
Let's have a campfire this evening, said Marigold Brick. Arthur can tell us the rest of his story. And we'll cook chops and drink billy can tea.
Yay! said Lavender.
Shut up, Lavender, said Baby Pierre. You don't like chops.
.......
That evening everyone sat around the campfire, eating chops, and drinking billy can tea, except for Ouvert, Baby Pierre and Lavender, who were happily entranced by the flames.
And Arthur went on with his story:
The king was outraged. The queen was still balanced on one leg. He placed his foot behind her ankle and pushed on her shoulder. The queen fell to the ground. What was that? asked the queen. Judo, said the king. Well done, said the queen, clapping slowly while balanced on her elbows. Happy now? The king stared at the queen's other leg. It was pink like the other one. I'm not myself, said the king. Our daughter has a green leg. Blood will out, said the queen. My grandmother had a green leg. It's just, said the king, that when she goes swimming.... Let her wear one of those speed suits, said the queen. A brilliant idea, said the king.
Arthur stopped.
Very nice, said Marigold Brick. I owe you an apology, Arthur. It wasn't gender offensive at all.
Surely it was, said Dr Yates. The queen gets knocked over. And the daughter must wear a speed suit to cover herself up.
I found it empowering, said Marigold. The queen always remains in control. Did you like it Lavender dear?
Yes, said Lavender.
QED, Dr Yates, said Marigold Brick.
I am! cried Lavender.
That's nice. At least somebody is, said Arthur.
Have you got thirty dollars, Arthur? asked Lavender. We want to go fossicking.
No, said Arthur. I haven't.
Dr Yates finished measuring the two Giant Claws.
I have good news and bad news, he said. These are actually Middle Sized Claws.
Was that the good news? asked Gaius.
No, that was the bad news, said Dr Yates. It means they aren't very important.
Gaius looked crestfallen.
The good news, said Dr Marigold Brick, is you might as well take them both home.
But Gaius did not brighten up.
Let's have a campfire this evening, said Marigold Brick. Arthur can tell us the rest of his story. And we'll cook chops and drink billy can tea.
Yay! said Lavender.
Shut up, Lavender, said Baby Pierre. You don't like chops.
.......
That evening everyone sat around the campfire, eating chops, and drinking billy can tea, except for Ouvert, Baby Pierre and Lavender, who were happily entranced by the flames.
And Arthur went on with his story:
The king was outraged. The queen was still balanced on one leg. He placed his foot behind her ankle and pushed on her shoulder. The queen fell to the ground. What was that? asked the queen. Judo, said the king. Well done, said the queen, clapping slowly while balanced on her elbows. Happy now? The king stared at the queen's other leg. It was pink like the other one. I'm not myself, said the king. Our daughter has a green leg. Blood will out, said the queen. My grandmother had a green leg. It's just, said the king, that when she goes swimming.... Let her wear one of those speed suits, said the queen. A brilliant idea, said the king.
Arthur stopped.
Very nice, said Marigold Brick. I owe you an apology, Arthur. It wasn't gender offensive at all.
Surely it was, said Dr Yates. The queen gets knocked over. And the daughter must wear a speed suit to cover herself up.
I found it empowering, said Marigold. The queen always remains in control. Did you like it Lavender dear?
Yes, said Lavender.
QED, Dr Yates, said Marigold Brick.
Friday, September 14, 2012
Middle Sized Claws
Don't you like the story? said Arthur.
I didn't like the way it was going, said Marigold.
Where was it going? asked Arthur.
Diamond encrusted suspenders, said Marigold.
Yes, yes! said Ageless, not helping.
That's not where it was going, said Arthur. That was a detail, a frisson, a blip.
I liked it, said Ageless.
It was gender offensive, said Marigold.
You can't say that till the end, said Arthur.
We'll be there soon, said Marigold.
We won't, said Arthur. I'm terminating the story..
At Alcoota, I mean, said Marigold.
Oh....good, said Arthur.
And it was true. Soon they were there.
Marigold pulled up at the campsite.
Dr Yates! she called.
Dr Brick! answered Dr Yates, coming back from the dig at a trot. Great to see you! Look what we've found here!
What is it? asked Marigold Brick.
Two more Giant Claws, said Dr Yates. Dug up by our amateur friend.
They look to me, said Marigold, like Middle Sized Claws.
Oh, come on! said Dr Yates. Let's get out a tape measure.
He went into a tent, and came back with a tape measure.
He started to measure the Claws.
Gaius came up, with the others trailing behind.
Arthur, he cried. And Ageless! I have bones to pick with you.
What did we do? said Arthur.
Desertion, said Gaius. Retaining my knife. Not retaining my bicycle. Failing to mend a puncture. Need I go on?
Wasn't me, said Ageless. Not any of that. It was Arthur.
Desertion, said Gaius, looking sternly at Ageless. Of your little friends here. That was you.
Ageless looked shifty.
Arthur looked sour.
I didn't like the way it was going, said Marigold.
Where was it going? asked Arthur.
Diamond encrusted suspenders, said Marigold.
Yes, yes! said Ageless, not helping.
That's not where it was going, said Arthur. That was a detail, a frisson, a blip.
I liked it, said Ageless.
It was gender offensive, said Marigold.
You can't say that till the end, said Arthur.
We'll be there soon, said Marigold.
We won't, said Arthur. I'm terminating the story..
At Alcoota, I mean, said Marigold.
Oh....good, said Arthur.
And it was true. Soon they were there.
Marigold pulled up at the campsite.
Dr Yates! she called.
Dr Brick! answered Dr Yates, coming back from the dig at a trot. Great to see you! Look what we've found here!
What is it? asked Marigold Brick.
Two more Giant Claws, said Dr Yates. Dug up by our amateur friend.
They look to me, said Marigold, like Middle Sized Claws.
Oh, come on! said Dr Yates. Let's get out a tape measure.
He went into a tent, and came back with a tape measure.
He started to measure the Claws.
Gaius came up, with the others trailing behind.
Arthur, he cried. And Ageless! I have bones to pick with you.
What did we do? said Arthur.
Desertion, said Gaius. Retaining my knife. Not retaining my bicycle. Failing to mend a puncture. Need I go on?
Wasn't me, said Ageless. Not any of that. It was Arthur.
Desertion, said Gaius, looking sternly at Ageless. Of your little friends here. That was you.
Ageless looked shifty.
Arthur looked sour.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Marigold Brick
Hello, said the driver of the Jeep. Would you like a lift?
That depends where you're going, said Arthur.
The Fossil Beds, said the driver. Where else? And you must be too. Or you're going the wrong way. Hop in!
Thanks, said Arthur, helping Ageless into the Jeep.
What's your name? asked the driver.
Arthur, said Arthur. And this is Ageless. He's just finished moulting and has to stay wet. Have you got any water?
I have, said the driver. Help yourself. My name is Marigold. Marigold Brick. I'm a scientist.
I'm a poet, said Arthur.
I'm a lobster, said Ageless.
I know, said Marigold.
Do I look like a poet? asked Arthur.
No, he looks like a lobster, said Marigold. But you do actually look like a poet. A particular poet. Who is it....... I know! Arthur Rimbaud!
That's who I am, said Arthur.
Poet and enfant terrible, said Marigold. I've read all your poems. Pleased to meet you. What are you doing out here?
I have no idea, said Arthur. I seem to be doing a series of pointless good deeds.
Do you mind doing another one? said Ageless. I need to be wetted.
Arthur sprinkled some water on Ageless.
Arthur's been telling me a story, said Ageless, immediately feeling improved.
Oh I do love a story! said Marigold. Go on with it, Arthur, I'm sure I'll catch up.
Alright, said Arthur. The king was shocked to see his daughter's green leg. He went to visit the queen, from whom he was estranged. Show me your legs, he said, without any preliminaries. The queen lifted her voluminous skirts on one side, and extended a delicate leg. It was pink, and encased in a sheer black stocking held up by two diamond encrusted suspenders. That's only one leg, said the king. Show me the other. I fear I must refuse, said the queen.......
Stop! Stop! cried Ageless. Tell me more about the diamond encrusted suspenders!
No, said Arthur. There's no more to tell about them.
Well just say it again, said Ageless.
That's enough! said Marigold Brick.
That depends where you're going, said Arthur.
The Fossil Beds, said the driver. Where else? And you must be too. Or you're going the wrong way. Hop in!
Thanks, said Arthur, helping Ageless into the Jeep.
What's your name? asked the driver.
Arthur, said Arthur. And this is Ageless. He's just finished moulting and has to stay wet. Have you got any water?
I have, said the driver. Help yourself. My name is Marigold. Marigold Brick. I'm a scientist.
I'm a poet, said Arthur.
I'm a lobster, said Ageless.
I know, said Marigold.
Do I look like a poet? asked Arthur.
No, he looks like a lobster, said Marigold. But you do actually look like a poet. A particular poet. Who is it....... I know! Arthur Rimbaud!
That's who I am, said Arthur.
Poet and enfant terrible, said Marigold. I've read all your poems. Pleased to meet you. What are you doing out here?
I have no idea, said Arthur. I seem to be doing a series of pointless good deeds.
Do you mind doing another one? said Ageless. I need to be wetted.
Arthur sprinkled some water on Ageless.
Arthur's been telling me a story, said Ageless, immediately feeling improved.
Oh I do love a story! said Marigold. Go on with it, Arthur, I'm sure I'll catch up.
Alright, said Arthur. The king was shocked to see his daughter's green leg. He went to visit the queen, from whom he was estranged. Show me your legs, he said, without any preliminaries. The queen lifted her voluminous skirts on one side, and extended a delicate leg. It was pink, and encased in a sheer black stocking held up by two diamond encrusted suspenders. That's only one leg, said the king. Show me the other. I fear I must refuse, said the queen.......
Stop! Stop! cried Ageless. Tell me more about the diamond encrusted suspenders!
No, said Arthur. There's no more to tell about them.
Well just say it again, said Ageless.
That's enough! said Marigold Brick.
Impossible Things
Gaius poked about with the hammers, chisels and scrapers that Dr Yates had lent him.
I could do a lot more with a knife, he muttered. These tools are soft.
Dr Yates chose to ignore this remark.
Clang! Gaius struck something.
Careful there, said Dr Yates. What have you struck?
Another Giant Claw, said Gaius. Here, let me dig it out.
No no! cried Dr Yates. You must go slowly. Use the brush.
The brush? said Gaius, gouging out the dirt around the second Giant Claw. I don't need a brush. I need a knife.
Dr Yates stared at the emerging Giant Claw.
How was it possible that this amateur had uncovered such a find almost at once?
Oh wonderful! said Gaius. Here's another!.
He dug ferociously, and moments later ripped two Giant Claws from their resting place in the fossil bed.
I think you'll find they are undamaged, he said, handing them to Dr Yates.
Dr Yates was flabbergasted. Now there were three Giant Claws. What could it mean?
.........
Meanwhile Arthur and Ageless were walking along the road towards Alcoota. It was hot.
I'm dry, said Ageless. I need to be kept moist.
Would you like a drink of milk? asked Arthur. I've got some left.
Lobsters don't drink milk, said Ageless. Are you sweaty?
Sweaty? said Arthur. No, why?
You could put me inside your shirt, said Ageless. To keep me moist.
There are things I will not do, said Arthur. That's one of them.
Fair enough, said Ageless. Everyone has to die.
Is that a threat? asked Arthur.
No I meant me, said Ageless. Tell me a story Arthur. It will help to pass the time.
Alright, said Arthur. Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess.
How beautiful? asked Ageless.
Not perfectly beautiful, said Arthur. For she had one green leg.
Eeeuw! said Ageless. Green!
It was green, said Arthur. Her father the king didn't even know. But then one day he saw it.
Under what circumstances? asked Ageless. A strong wind or what?
Swimming lessons, said Arthur.
Just then a Jeep pulled up.
I could do a lot more with a knife, he muttered. These tools are soft.
Dr Yates chose to ignore this remark.
Clang! Gaius struck something.
Careful there, said Dr Yates. What have you struck?
Another Giant Claw, said Gaius. Here, let me dig it out.
No no! cried Dr Yates. You must go slowly. Use the brush.
The brush? said Gaius, gouging out the dirt around the second Giant Claw. I don't need a brush. I need a knife.
Dr Yates stared at the emerging Giant Claw.
How was it possible that this amateur had uncovered such a find almost at once?
Oh wonderful! said Gaius. Here's another!.
He dug ferociously, and moments later ripped two Giant Claws from their resting place in the fossil bed.
I think you'll find they are undamaged, he said, handing them to Dr Yates.
Dr Yates was flabbergasted. Now there were three Giant Claws. What could it mean?
.........
Meanwhile Arthur and Ageless were walking along the road towards Alcoota. It was hot.
I'm dry, said Ageless. I need to be kept moist.
Would you like a drink of milk? asked Arthur. I've got some left.
Lobsters don't drink milk, said Ageless. Are you sweaty?
Sweaty? said Arthur. No, why?
You could put me inside your shirt, said Ageless. To keep me moist.
There are things I will not do, said Arthur. That's one of them.
Fair enough, said Ageless. Everyone has to die.
Is that a threat? asked Arthur.
No I meant me, said Ageless. Tell me a story Arthur. It will help to pass the time.
Alright, said Arthur. Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess.
How beautiful? asked Ageless.
Not perfectly beautiful, said Arthur. For she had one green leg.
Eeeuw! said Ageless. Green!
It was green, said Arthur. Her father the king didn't even know. But then one day he saw it.
Under what circumstances? asked Ageless. A strong wind or what?
Swimming lessons, said Arthur.
Just then a Jeep pulled up.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Quite Clever
Gaius stared at the spot where the Giant Claw had been found. It was empty.
Obviously though, thought Gaius, one might dig round about, and find other parts.
I suppose you've looked round about for other parts? he asked Dr Yates.
Most certainly, said Dr Yates. The thing is, there are bones here from many animals all jumbled together. It's not easy to tell what's part of what.
May I have an exploratory poke around? asked Gaius.
Do you have your own implements? asked Dr Yates.
Yes I do, said Gaius, thinking that he had the glittering knife somewhere in a pocket.
But of course he did not.
Arthur had it.
That ARTHUR! thought Gaius. I thought he was reliable, but I seem to have misjudged.
My assistant has my implement, said Gaius. I'm very sorry about that. May I borrow something of yours?
Arthur has it, you mean? said Dr Yates. Yes I wonder where he's got to? Perhaps we ought to be worried. After all, he has no bicycle now. Should we send out a search party?
No, said Gaius. Just lend me a knife.
That's odd, thought Dr Yates. We hardly ever use knives.
Lavender, Ouvert and Baby Pierre had been listening.
Where can Arthur be? said Lavender.
Well, you can see into the future, said Baby Pierre.
Lavender thought hard about the future, but she couldn't see Arthur.
He's back there, she said. He'll be coming.
You don't know, said Baby Pierre. That's the past.
It's the same thing , said Lavender.
Ouvert thought that was quite clever.
Obviously though, thought Gaius, one might dig round about, and find other parts.
I suppose you've looked round about for other parts? he asked Dr Yates.
Most certainly, said Dr Yates. The thing is, there are bones here from many animals all jumbled together. It's not easy to tell what's part of what.
May I have an exploratory poke around? asked Gaius.
Do you have your own implements? asked Dr Yates.
Yes I do, said Gaius, thinking that he had the glittering knife somewhere in a pocket.
But of course he did not.
Arthur had it.
That ARTHUR! thought Gaius. I thought he was reliable, but I seem to have misjudged.
My assistant has my implement, said Gaius. I'm very sorry about that. May I borrow something of yours?
Arthur has it, you mean? said Dr Yates. Yes I wonder where he's got to? Perhaps we ought to be worried. After all, he has no bicycle now. Should we send out a search party?
No, said Gaius. Just lend me a knife.
That's odd, thought Dr Yates. We hardly ever use knives.
Lavender, Ouvert and Baby Pierre had been listening.
Where can Arthur be? said Lavender.
Well, you can see into the future, said Baby Pierre.
Lavender thought hard about the future, but she couldn't see Arthur.
He's back there, she said. He'll be coming.
You don't know, said Baby Pierre. That's the past.
It's the same thing , said Lavender.
Ouvert thought that was quite clever.
Monday, September 10, 2012
The Manticore
Gaius and Dr Yates drove past the Gemtree Caravan Park without a second look. Had they looked, they would have seen Arthur and Ageless, not ten metres away from the gate.
Dr Yates dropped the Sapphires at the turn off to the Engawala community, and continued to the main campsite at the Alcoota Fossil Beds.
Here we are, said Dr Yates to Gaius. Get out. I'll show you around.
He and Gaius walked towards one of the digging spots.
These fossil beds are eight million years old, said Dr Yates.
Fascinating, said Gaius.
And we've found bones of many different megafauna, the Thunderbird for example, which is our old friend the Dromornis Stirtoni, said Dr Yates.
Oh yes indeed, said Gaius. Our old friend...
...and the Powerful Thylacine, continued Dr Yates. Also the Marsupial Lion....
The lion! said Gaius. Remarkable. I know something of the lion myself. The more common type of lion.
Yes, the ones found here were marsupials, said Dr Yates. They had lion-like features...
Something like the Manticore of ancient legend, I imagine, ventured Gaius.
I'm not sure I'm familiar with the Manticore, said Dr Yates.
I have written of the Manticore in my Natural Histories, said Gaius. So I know it well. The Manticore has a triple row of teeth, the face and ears of a man, grey eyes, a blood red colour, the body of a lion, and a sting in its tail like that of a scorpion. It has a voice like a pan-pipe crossed with a trumpet, runs extremely fast and is particularly keen on human flesh.
You astonish me, said Dr Yates.
As I hope you will astonish me, said Gaius. May I see the site where you found the Giant Claw?
Certainly, said Dr Yates. Come with me. Are you three coming?
He turned to look at Baby Pierre, Lavender and Ouvert.
It's bones, said Lavender. I hate bones.
I hate bones too, said Ouvert.
Me too, said Baby Pierre. I hate bones.
What do you like? asked Dr Yates.
Stones, they said, in unison.
I should have dropped you off at the Gemtree Caravan Park, said Dr Yates. They have fossicking there. Thirty dollars a bucket, and you keep what you find.
Lavender, Ouvert and Baby Pierre looked doubtful.
They didn't have thirty dollars.
And anyway, they weren't even there.
Dr Yates dropped the Sapphires at the turn off to the Engawala community, and continued to the main campsite at the Alcoota Fossil Beds.
Here we are, said Dr Yates to Gaius. Get out. I'll show you around.
He and Gaius walked towards one of the digging spots.
These fossil beds are eight million years old, said Dr Yates.
Fascinating, said Gaius.
And we've found bones of many different megafauna, the Thunderbird for example, which is our old friend the Dromornis Stirtoni, said Dr Yates.
Oh yes indeed, said Gaius. Our old friend...
...and the Powerful Thylacine, continued Dr Yates. Also the Marsupial Lion....
The lion! said Gaius. Remarkable. I know something of the lion myself. The more common type of lion.
Yes, the ones found here were marsupials, said Dr Yates. They had lion-like features...
Something like the Manticore of ancient legend, I imagine, ventured Gaius.
I'm not sure I'm familiar with the Manticore, said Dr Yates.
I have written of the Manticore in my Natural Histories, said Gaius. So I know it well. The Manticore has a triple row of teeth, the face and ears of a man, grey eyes, a blood red colour, the body of a lion, and a sting in its tail like that of a scorpion. It has a voice like a pan-pipe crossed with a trumpet, runs extremely fast and is particularly keen on human flesh.
You astonish me, said Dr Yates.
As I hope you will astonish me, said Gaius. May I see the site where you found the Giant Claw?
Certainly, said Dr Yates. Come with me. Are you three coming?
He turned to look at Baby Pierre, Lavender and Ouvert.
It's bones, said Lavender. I hate bones.
I hate bones too, said Ouvert.
Me too, said Baby Pierre. I hate bones.
What do you like? asked Dr Yates.
Stones, they said, in unison.
I should have dropped you off at the Gemtree Caravan Park, said Dr Yates. They have fossicking there. Thirty dollars a bucket, and you keep what you find.
Lavender, Ouvert and Baby Pierre looked doubtful.
They didn't have thirty dollars.
And anyway, they weren't even there.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
The Art of Avoidance
But where is Ageless?
He has said goodbye to Moloch and gone to the office to inquire about Arthur. There he has been told that Arthur left five minutes ago.
Tch, tch, grumbles Ageless. Unreliable.
He heads down the track hoping to catch up with Arthur.
Arthur is walking towards the gate.
A Jeep turns in.
In the Jeep are Paul and Mathilde Verlaine.
Mathilde sees Arthur first.
Paul! she screams. Look over there!
She points, but not in the direction of Arthur.
What is it, woman? snaps Paul, who is in a terrible mood as usual.
A... a...lizard! says Mathilde lamely.
At least Paul is not looking at Arthur.
Arthur! calls Ageless, from back down the track.
Arthur stops and turns round.
Ageless! he says. Have you moulted?
I have, says Ageless. Just look at me, all soft and new.
Arthur looks.
Ageless looks all soft and new.
Arthur turns back to pick up Ageless.
He is reliable some of the time.
The Jeep passes Arthur from behind as he bends over to scoop up his friend..
Paul Verlaine does not recognise Arthur from this angle, which is a little surprising.
Arthur does not look up at the Jeep.
Thus a confrontation is avoided, which is lucky.
Arthur reaches the gate of the Caravan Park, with Ageless on his shoulders, in time to see the Jeep carrying Dr Yates, Gaius and the others disappearing in a cloud of dust........
He has said goodbye to Moloch and gone to the office to inquire about Arthur. There he has been told that Arthur left five minutes ago.
Tch, tch, grumbles Ageless. Unreliable.
He heads down the track hoping to catch up with Arthur.
Arthur is walking towards the gate.
A Jeep turns in.
In the Jeep are Paul and Mathilde Verlaine.
Mathilde sees Arthur first.
Paul! she screams. Look over there!
She points, but not in the direction of Arthur.
What is it, woman? snaps Paul, who is in a terrible mood as usual.
A... a...lizard! says Mathilde lamely.
At least Paul is not looking at Arthur.
Arthur! calls Ageless, from back down the track.
Arthur stops and turns round.
Ageless! he says. Have you moulted?
I have, says Ageless. Just look at me, all soft and new.
Arthur looks.
Ageless looks all soft and new.
Arthur turns back to pick up Ageless.
He is reliable some of the time.
The Jeep passes Arthur from behind as he bends over to scoop up his friend..
Paul Verlaine does not recognise Arthur from this angle, which is a little surprising.
Arthur does not look up at the Jeep.
Thus a confrontation is avoided, which is lucky.
Arthur reaches the gate of the Caravan Park, with Ageless on his shoulders, in time to see the Jeep carrying Dr Yates, Gaius and the others disappearing in a cloud of dust........
Saturday, September 8, 2012
But Where Is Ageless?
It's still Saturday. We haven't missed anything.
Gaius and Dr Yates are driving along the Plenty Highway in Dr Yates's Jeep. They are nearing the spot where Ouvert, Baby Pierre, Lavender, the Sapphires, the bicycle, the book and the snacks are waiting at the side of the road.
Fortunately for Baby Pierre, Ouvert and Lavender, the Sapphires are highly visible, or they might have been missed..
Just look at those girls! says Gaius. Do they remind you of something? They do me. What is it now.... oh yes I've seen them on a poster at a bus stop. They're the Sapphires!
I assure you they aren't the Sapphires, says Dr Yates. They're from Engawala Community. I wonder if they need a lift?
The Jeep stops.
Gaius notices the bicycle.
That's my bicycle! he says. Where's Arthur?
Do you girls need a lift into Gemtree? asks Dr Yates.
Yes, our bike's cactus, says Emerald.
Cactus! says Gaius. I hope not! And it's MY bike!
It's Arthur's, says Ruby. He's gone on ahead.
Pile in then, says Dr Yates.
Gaius gets out, picks up the bicycle and chucks it in the back of the Jeep.
I trust that Ageless is somewhere about? he says.
No, he isn't, says Lavender. He's disappeared too.
Then we must find him, says Gaius. Let's go.
They drive on towards Gemtree, in the Jeep.
........
They are about to pass the gate of the Gemtree Caravan Park.
They slow down, as another Jeep turns in, in front of them.
At the same moment Arthur is walking up the drive of the Caravan Park towards the gate.......
Gaius and Dr Yates are driving along the Plenty Highway in Dr Yates's Jeep. They are nearing the spot where Ouvert, Baby Pierre, Lavender, the Sapphires, the bicycle, the book and the snacks are waiting at the side of the road.
Fortunately for Baby Pierre, Ouvert and Lavender, the Sapphires are highly visible, or they might have been missed..
Just look at those girls! says Gaius. Do they remind you of something? They do me. What is it now.... oh yes I've seen them on a poster at a bus stop. They're the Sapphires!
I assure you they aren't the Sapphires, says Dr Yates. They're from Engawala Community. I wonder if they need a lift?
The Jeep stops.
Gaius notices the bicycle.
That's my bicycle! he says. Where's Arthur?
Do you girls need a lift into Gemtree? asks Dr Yates.
Yes, our bike's cactus, says Emerald.
Cactus! says Gaius. I hope not! And it's MY bike!
It's Arthur's, says Ruby. He's gone on ahead.
Pile in then, says Dr Yates.
Gaius gets out, picks up the bicycle and chucks it in the back of the Jeep.
I trust that Ageless is somewhere about? he says.
No, he isn't, says Lavender. He's disappeared too.
Then we must find him, says Gaius. Let's go.
They drive on towards Gemtree, in the Jeep.
........
They are about to pass the gate of the Gemtree Caravan Park.
They slow down, as another Jeep turns in, in front of them.
At the same moment Arthur is walking up the drive of the Caravan Park towards the gate.......
Friday, September 7, 2012
Surely By Now It Must Be Saturday
Surely by now it must be Saturday.
It is.
And where is everyone?
Let us recap.
Let us recap.
Gaius and Dr Yates are in Alice Springs, getting ready to drive to the Alcoota dig in Dr Yates's Jeep, expecting to meet Arthur, Ageless, Baby Pierre, Ouvert and Lavender there ( but not the Sapphires) and to see once again the hired bicycle (without a flat tyre).
Baby Pierre, Ouvert, Lavender and the Sapphires are at the side of the Plenty Highway, just out of Gemtree, with Gaius's hired bicycle (with a flat tyre) and Arthur's water and snacks, (of which little remains) and One Thousand and One Arabian Nights, a book that belongs to Ageless, but that he left behind when he needed to find somewhere to moult. They are waiting for Gaius and Dr Yates to turn up in the Jeep.
Ageless is in the Gemtree Caravan Park billabong, having just finished moulting, enjoying a last feast of spangled grunters, before emerging to take leave of his new friend the thorny devil called Moloch, and join up once again with Arthur to continue their journey to Alcoota.
Arthur is about to leave the Gemtree Caravan Park on foot, with nothing but a friendship bracelet and the glittering knife, hoping to catch up with his ex friend and lover Paul Verlaine and exact some revenge for the hysterical shooting that took place a long time ago but has not been forgotten.
Paul Verlaine is heading back to Gemtree Caravan Park with his wife Mathilde, in their hired jeep, in spite of
misgivings. He has no idea that Arthur is there.
It will be interesting to see who meets up with who.
And who misses who.
And one more thing will be interesting.
Wasn't everyone ( except Ouvert and Lavender, and of course Paul Verlaine) there to look for a Claw?
And who misses who.
And one more thing will be interesting.
Wasn't everyone ( except Ouvert and Lavender, and of course Paul Verlaine) there to look for a Claw?
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
A Violent Past
How come Tom gets a knife? demanded Irma.
Because he gave me a melon, said Arthur.
Well, ..... here's a friendship bracelet, said Irma.
Thank you said Arthur, but I have nothing to give you. I haven't got anything else.
Then how can you leave? asked Emma? If you haven't got anything?
Arthur hadn't thought about that. Now he did.
It was true, he hadn't got anything. He hadn't got water, he hadn't got food, he hadn't a bicycle and now he hadn't even a knife.
Would you like the knife back? asked Tom. I won't be allowed to keep it anyway.
Err, yes, please, said Arthur
Arthur took the knife back.
Thanks, Tom, said Arthur.
Now he had a knife.
I do have a knife, he told Irma.
And a friendship bracelet, said Irma. Don't forget about that.
And a melon, said Tom
Both useless, said Arthur. It's the knife that I need if I'm going to catch up with Verlaine.
Verlaine? exclaimed Tom. You mean Monsieur Verlaine? The bald guy that's a really bad sport?
Is he your friend? asked Irma.
Not exactly, said Arthur. Not any more. Not since he went into hysterics and shot me twice in the wrist.
Wow! said Tom. Are you going to kill him?
Of course not, said Arthur. Not unless he attempts to kill me.
Because he gave me a melon, said Arthur.
Well, ..... here's a friendship bracelet, said Irma.
Thank you said Arthur, but I have nothing to give you. I haven't got anything else.
Then how can you leave? asked Emma? If you haven't got anything?
Arthur hadn't thought about that. Now he did.
It was true, he hadn't got anything. He hadn't got water, he hadn't got food, he hadn't a bicycle and now he hadn't even a knife.
Would you like the knife back? asked Tom. I won't be allowed to keep it anyway.
Err, yes, please, said Arthur
Arthur took the knife back.
Thanks, Tom, said Arthur.
Now he had a knife.
I do have a knife, he told Irma.
And a friendship bracelet, said Irma. Don't forget about that.
And a melon, said Tom
Both useless, said Arthur. It's the knife that I need if I'm going to catch up with Verlaine.
Verlaine? exclaimed Tom. You mean Monsieur Verlaine? The bald guy that's a really bad sport?
Is he your friend? asked Irma.
Not exactly, said Arthur. Not any more. Not since he went into hysterics and shot me twice in the wrist.
Wow! said Tom. Are you going to kill him?
Of course not, said Arthur. Not unless he attempts to kill me.
No Library, A Bomb and a Knife
Ageless! hissed Moloch. Come up!
Ageless rose up from the bottom of the billabong where he had been moulting.
Woo! said Moloch. Which one is you?
Ha ha, said Ageless. This one is me. That one used to be me. I wish I could get it all off though.
Let me pull it, said Moloch.
No thanks, said Ageless. What's the news?
Verlaine and his wife will be back here tomorrow, said Moloch.
Tomorrow! said Ageless. Does Arthur know?
He doesn't know, said Moloch.
Make sure he doesn't, said Ageless.
He doesn't, said Moloch. I told you. But wouldn't it be better if he knew?
No, said Ageless. I know Arthur. He'd leave. And then where would I be?
You could stay here, said Moloch. We get on alright, you and me.
This is not my milieu, said Ageless. There isn't a library.
No, there isn't a library, said Moloch.
.......
Meanwhile Arthur was saying goodbye to the children.
Good bye, Emma and Irma, he said. Goodbye Tom.
Are you leaving? asked Emma.
Yes, said Arthur. I must leave right away. I want to catch up with someone.
Who? asked Irma. A girl?
No, said Arthur. A man. A man who did........ never mind.
He rubbed his left wrist.
Here, Arthur, said Tom. A present to remember us by.
What is it? said Arthur. A bomb?
It's a melon, said Tom.
Here's something for you then, said Arthur.
And he gave Tom the glittering knife.
Ageless rose up from the bottom of the billabong where he had been moulting.
Woo! said Moloch. Which one is you?
Ha ha, said Ageless. This one is me. That one used to be me. I wish I could get it all off though.
Let me pull it, said Moloch.
No thanks, said Ageless. What's the news?
Verlaine and his wife will be back here tomorrow, said Moloch.
Tomorrow! said Ageless. Does Arthur know?
He doesn't know, said Moloch.
Make sure he doesn't, said Ageless.
He doesn't, said Moloch. I told you. But wouldn't it be better if he knew?
No, said Ageless. I know Arthur. He'd leave. And then where would I be?
You could stay here, said Moloch. We get on alright, you and me.
This is not my milieu, said Ageless. There isn't a library.
No, there isn't a library, said Moloch.
.......
Meanwhile Arthur was saying goodbye to the children.
Good bye, Emma and Irma, he said. Goodbye Tom.
Are you leaving? asked Emma.
Yes, said Arthur. I must leave right away. I want to catch up with someone.
Who? asked Irma. A girl?
No, said Arthur. A man. A man who did........ never mind.
He rubbed his left wrist.
Here, Arthur, said Tom. A present to remember us by.
What is it? said Arthur. A bomb?
It's a melon, said Tom.
Here's something for you then, said Arthur.
And he gave Tom the glittering knife.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
The Visitors' Book
It's evening. The World Championship Paddy Melon Bowls has begun on the killer couch grass.
Arthur's team mate is Tom, and they are up against Emma and Irma. They are all ten years old, except Arthur.
Had Arthur been paying attention, he would have been put out by this. But he is miles away, thinking about bald Paul Verlaine. Where is he now? And will he come back? And why is he still with his wife?
Arthur bowls his paddy melon towards the jack, inside the white circle. It veers far away to the right.
Sheesh! says Tom, who has played every year since he was a little tacker. You didn't allow for the grass!
What? says Arthur. What about the grass?
It's not called killer couch for nothing, says Tom, bowling his melon accurately up to the jack.
Well played! says Irma.
Shut up Irma, says Emma. Just bowl.
Irma bowls accurately too.
The grown ups are sitting on the grass watching. They think Arthur is letting the children win. They like Arthur.
But Arthur is thinking dark thoughts.
........
Moloch can't google Verlaine. But Moloch has ways and means of finding out about people. It is called The Visitors' Book.
Moloch creeps under the door of the front office and in two shakes is on top of the desk. The visitors' book is open at today.
He sees the usual comments: Awesome! Best Fossicking Ever! Love the wildlife! Birdspotting was great! I found gold!!!!! Well kept campsite. I won Paddy Melon Bowls!
Nothing by Verlaine. He turns back a few pages. Aha!
Do you call that bowling? Ridiculous ! In the billabong, tiny fish not worth eating. And you must even bring your own water! Pah! We shall not return! Paul Verlaine.
Underneath, a remark from his wife, in tiny handwriting: In fact, we shall be back on Saturday morning. Please ignore my husband's ill temper. I enjoyed your campsite very well. Mathilde Verlaine.
Moloch scuttles back to tell Ageless.
Arthur's team mate is Tom, and they are up against Emma and Irma. They are all ten years old, except Arthur.
Had Arthur been paying attention, he would have been put out by this. But he is miles away, thinking about bald Paul Verlaine. Where is he now? And will he come back? And why is he still with his wife?
Arthur bowls his paddy melon towards the jack, inside the white circle. It veers far away to the right.
Sheesh! says Tom, who has played every year since he was a little tacker. You didn't allow for the grass!
What? says Arthur. What about the grass?
It's not called killer couch for nothing, says Tom, bowling his melon accurately up to the jack.
Well played! says Irma.
Shut up Irma, says Emma. Just bowl.
Irma bowls accurately too.
The grown ups are sitting on the grass watching. They think Arthur is letting the children win. They like Arthur.
But Arthur is thinking dark thoughts.
........
Moloch can't google Verlaine. But Moloch has ways and means of finding out about people. It is called The Visitors' Book.
Moloch creeps under the door of the front office and in two shakes is on top of the desk. The visitors' book is open at today.
He sees the usual comments: Awesome! Best Fossicking Ever! Love the wildlife! Birdspotting was great! I found gold!!!!! Well kept campsite. I won Paddy Melon Bowls!
Nothing by Verlaine. He turns back a few pages. Aha!
Do you call that bowling? Ridiculous ! In the billabong, tiny fish not worth eating. And you must even bring your own water! Pah! We shall not return! Paul Verlaine.
Underneath, a remark from his wife, in tiny handwriting: In fact, we shall be back on Saturday morning. Please ignore my husband's ill temper. I enjoyed your campsite very well. Mathilde Verlaine.
Moloch scuttles back to tell Ageless.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Pale At The Mention of His Name
Arthur sipped milk through a straw from a carton.
Your bandage slipped down, said the manager. That looks nasty. I could sell you some bandaids as well.
Arthur tugged up his bandage.
The French man you spoke of, said Arthur, his name wasn't Paul?
It was, said the manager. Do you know him?
How long ago was he here? asked Arthur.
A few days now, said the manager. Do you want to play paddy melon bowls or not?
Bowls? muttered Arthur. Oh yes, bowls. Alright.
I'll put you in a team, said the manager. We play in the evenings, under lights, on the killer couch grass.
How did he look? asked Arthur.
Verlaine? He was handsome, and bald.
Merde! said Arthur. It was him!
Well, he's gone now , said the manager. Did you two have issues?
Arthur said nothing, but rubbed his left wrist.
..........
Ageless had made friends with Moloch. Moloch was keeping him informed.
It was three o'clock in the afternoon when Moloch came back to the billabong.
What's Arthur doing? grated Ageless, easing himself up from the depths, half in and half out of his shell.
Ouch! said Moloch. You do look incommoded!
That's exactly what I am, said Ageless. Incommoded. It gets harder each time. But tell me about Arthur.
Arthur is going to play paddy melon bowls tonight under lights on the killer couch grass, said Moloch. He's been put in a team.
A team! said Ageless. I can't imagine Arthur in a team.
Your Arthur seemed agitated about something, said Moloch. He may not have been paying attention. Have you heard of a chap called Verlaine?
Can't say I have, said Ageless. Why?
His name made Arthur turn pale, said Moloch.
Arthur must be kept happy at all costs, said Ageless. See what you can find out, my friend.
Your bandage slipped down, said the manager. That looks nasty. I could sell you some bandaids as well.
Arthur tugged up his bandage.
The French man you spoke of, said Arthur, his name wasn't Paul?
It was, said the manager. Do you know him?
How long ago was he here? asked Arthur.
A few days now, said the manager. Do you want to play paddy melon bowls or not?
Bowls? muttered Arthur. Oh yes, bowls. Alright.
I'll put you in a team, said the manager. We play in the evenings, under lights, on the killer couch grass.
How did he look? asked Arthur.
Verlaine? He was handsome, and bald.
Merde! said Arthur. It was him!
Well, he's gone now , said the manager. Did you two have issues?
Arthur said nothing, but rubbed his left wrist.
..........
Ageless had made friends with Moloch. Moloch was keeping him informed.
It was three o'clock in the afternoon when Moloch came back to the billabong.
What's Arthur doing? grated Ageless, easing himself up from the depths, half in and half out of his shell.
Ouch! said Moloch. You do look incommoded!
That's exactly what I am, said Ageless. Incommoded. It gets harder each time. But tell me about Arthur.
Arthur is going to play paddy melon bowls tonight under lights on the killer couch grass, said Moloch. He's been put in a team.
A team! said Ageless. I can't imagine Arthur in a team.
Your Arthur seemed agitated about something, said Moloch. He may not have been paying attention. Have you heard of a chap called Verlaine?
Can't say I have, said Ageless. Why?
His name made Arthur turn pale, said Moloch.
Arthur must be kept happy at all costs, said Ageless. See what you can find out, my friend.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Things Go Wrong
What is it? asked Arthur.
We don't use conventional bowls, said the manager.
What do you use? asked Arthur.
Paddy melons, said the manager.
Small marsupials! said Arthur, shocked. What is this, Alice in Wonderland?
No, that was flamingoes, said the manager, who was used to remarks of this nature.
Yes, but you must agree it's a similar concept, said Arthur.
Not at all, said the manager, because you are thinking of pademelons. Whereas we use paddy melons, which are small hard yellow melons, which grow hereabouts.
That's alright then, said Arthur. Why did it matter that I was French?
The French are generally picky about their bowls, said the manager.
I object, said Arthur. I am not picky about my bowls.
But you would have been, said the manager, if I hadn't made these preliminary remarks. Admit it.
No, said Arthur. I won't admit it. We French have a great sense of humour. We are never annoyed to encounter such things. They make charming stories at the dinner table.
The last French man who came here was not so amiable, said the manager. He refused to play bowls without the proper equipment. He kicked the paddy melons all over the grass in a temper.
What was his name? asked Arthur. Perhaps I know him.
Verlaine, said the manager. And his wife.
Arthur turned pale. His bandage slipped down to his ankle.
So can we sign you up for a team? asked the manager.
May I have a glass of water? said Arthur.
Sorry, said the manager. We only have bore water here.
I might die, said Arthur.
I could sell you some milk, said the manager.
We don't use conventional bowls, said the manager.
What do you use? asked Arthur.
Paddy melons, said the manager.
Small marsupials! said Arthur, shocked. What is this, Alice in Wonderland?
No, that was flamingoes, said the manager, who was used to remarks of this nature.
Yes, but you must agree it's a similar concept, said Arthur.
Not at all, said the manager, because you are thinking of pademelons. Whereas we use paddy melons, which are small hard yellow melons, which grow hereabouts.
That's alright then, said Arthur. Why did it matter that I was French?
The French are generally picky about their bowls, said the manager.
I object, said Arthur. I am not picky about my bowls.
But you would have been, said the manager, if I hadn't made these preliminary remarks. Admit it.
No, said Arthur. I won't admit it. We French have a great sense of humour. We are never annoyed to encounter such things. They make charming stories at the dinner table.
The last French man who came here was not so amiable, said the manager. He refused to play bowls without the proper equipment. He kicked the paddy melons all over the grass in a temper.
What was his name? asked Arthur. Perhaps I know him.
Verlaine, said the manager. And his wife.
Arthur turned pale. His bandage slipped down to his ankle.
So can we sign you up for a team? asked the manager.
May I have a glass of water? said Arthur.
Sorry, said the manager. We only have bore water here.
I might die, said Arthur.
I could sell you some milk, said the manager.
Something He Needs to Know
Arthur walked back to the office.
Ageless stared after him. Would Arthur stay?
Your friend will like it here, said a raspy lumpish voice.
It was the thorny devil who spoke.
Why do you say that? asked Ageless.
He's French, shrugged the thorny devil. They all like bowls.
How do you know he's French? persisted Ageless.
He has an air about him, said the thorny devil.
So have at least two other people I know, said Ageless. And they are not French.
Alright then, it's the accent, admitted the thorny devil.
You seem a worldly chap, said Ageless, admiringly. Have you travelled much?
Not at all, said the thorny devil. But we get a lot of tourists through here. One can't help but discern....
Yes, yes, of course, said Ageless. My name is Ageless Lobster, by the way. And you are...?
Moloch, said the thorny devil. Well, I'll leave you to your moulting. Eat as many spangled grunters as you like, while you're here.
Thank you, said Ageless. You are a gentleman.
Not actually, said Moloch, but thanks anyway.
Moloch disappeared under a rock, while Ageless sank under the water.
.....
Arthur went into the office.
I'd like to sign up for the bowling, he said.
Would you indeed, sir? said the manager. Are you by any chance French? Because if you are there's something you need to know first.
Ageless stared after him. Would Arthur stay?
Your friend will like it here, said a raspy lumpish voice.
It was the thorny devil who spoke.
Why do you say that? asked Ageless.
He's French, shrugged the thorny devil. They all like bowls.
How do you know he's French? persisted Ageless.
He has an air about him, said the thorny devil.
So have at least two other people I know, said Ageless. And they are not French.
Alright then, it's the accent, admitted the thorny devil.
You seem a worldly chap, said Ageless, admiringly. Have you travelled much?
Not at all, said the thorny devil. But we get a lot of tourists through here. One can't help but discern....
Yes, yes, of course, said Ageless. My name is Ageless Lobster, by the way. And you are...?
Moloch, said the thorny devil. Well, I'll leave you to your moulting. Eat as many spangled grunters as you like, while you're here.
Thank you, said Ageless. You are a gentleman.
Not actually, said Moloch, but thanks anyway.
Moloch disappeared under a rock, while Ageless sank under the water.
.....
Arthur went into the office.
I'd like to sign up for the bowling, he said.
Would you indeed, sir? said the manager. Are you by any chance French? Because if you are there's something you need to know first.
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